Taking Off the Masks
by Twihard fangirl
Summary: Bella/Edward, all human, Bella visits LA to escape and meets the handsome hot actor Edward Cullen. They meet and an instant connection forms through their common ground of pretending to be something they are not to others. Future Lemons.
1. Chapter 1

**a/n This is my first attempt at fanfic, but I had a story that was kicking around in my head that I wanted to tell. This is rated M for future lemony goodness and language. **

**The premise is that Bella comes to LA to escape her life and runs into the A list Hollywood star Edward Cullen. They have an instant connection. All human. **

**The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, I'm just borrowing them in my happy fantasy land.**

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**Chapter One  
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**BPOV**

_Why am I here? _I thought to myself. Here I was, surrounded by a hundred people, yet I felt more alone than ever. I never should have let Jasper talk me into coming to his stupid party. Sigh.

Then across the room I see Jasper coming towards me, dragging some poor bastard behind him, smiling broadly with his tussled blond hair almost bouncing with joy as he got closer. Then I saw who he had his grip on, EDWARD CULLEN!

I tried to restrain myself from getting up and running. Edward Cullen! Hollywood's new "it boy". He just finished filming his signature role in a movie where women everywhere were fainting at the sight of him on screen. I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. Those gorgeous green eyes, that rust colored hair that looked like a girl just finished having her way with him, his lean and muscular body rippling underneath his black t-shirt and skinny jeans. He was simply perfection. Why on earth was Jasper bringing him over here?

"Edward, this is my friend Bella Swan, Bella this is Edward Cullen" Jasper said smiling his shit eating grin as he did so. I wanted to freaking kill him. I looked up and smiled nervously and said "hi, nice to meet you" as I extended my hand out to shake his. _Ugh, shaking his hand, what a loser you are Bella_, I thought. Edward took my hand in his and locked in on my eyes. I felt this spark of warmth come over me when he touched me. He gave me his trademark half smile and sort of cocked his head curiously, as if maybe he felt it to. _Don't be stupid Bella_, I thought.

**EPOV**

There I was sitting perfectly happy and alone in the corner when Jasper spots me, smiles and next thing I know I'm being dragged across the room while he starts going on and on about wanting me to meet his friend Bella. _Yeah, that is what I want tonight, some silly vapid fan girl fawning all over me, talking to me like I'm HIM and not me. _I groaned inside of my head. Ever since taking that stupid role women everywhere follow me like I'm the second coming. Stranger still they talk to me and react to me like I'm him, that smug bastard I play in those stupid movies. Once I stepped into that role it is like I ceased to be me at all to anyone.

"Edward, this is my friend Bella Swan, Bella this is Edward Cullen" Jasper said. She raises her hand looking nervous and says "hi, nice to meet you", so I take her hand in mine. Instantly I felt this warmth in mine, this electricity flowing from my fingers to my heart. _I need to lay off the Patron shots,_ I thought. She looked so fragile sitting there. Like a china doll with long brown hair and brown eyes. She wasn't dressed to whore it up like most of the women in this place, she had a form fitting sweater and flared jeans. She wasn't looking to impress anyone, but yet she stood out anyway. Her hands were fiddling with the inside of the sleeves nervously.

"How do you know each other?" I said, intrigued about getting to know this woman more.

"Bella has the honor of being the only woman I have ever loved or will ever love" said Jasper and with a kiss on her forehead he flitted back off to his partner Emmett who was making a fool out of himself on the dance floor.

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a/n: Reviews are appreciated.


	2. Chapter 2

**a/n: The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, I'm just borrowing them in my happy fantasy land.**

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**Chapter 2**

**BPOV**

"Bella has the honor of being the only woman I have ever loved or will ever love"

_Ugh, he did NOT just say that did he? Why why why must Jasper always trot me out as his failed attempt at heterosexuality? _I thought. I rolled my eyes as Edward quickly sat down with that amused look in his eyes that told me I had some storytelling to do. "Care to elaborate?" Edward said.

I sighed as I started explaining. "The condensed version is, Jasper and I met Sophomore year and we felt this instant connection. We became fast friends. We basically shared everything with each other. Then one drunken night, we took it beyond friendship. I wouldn't say we dated, because I mean it wasn't like that at all, we just sort of were together, all the time. That is when it got sort of complicated, as I wanted more and he always seemed to be pulling back,. Then I think one day he told me maybe he did want more, and I was imagining my future as Mrs. Jasper Whitlock within about 2 seconds. Then next thing I know it is a few weeks later and I get the whole 'it's not you it's me' speech and we were over. We stayed friends though and then maybe 18 months later I found out he came out of the closet and I guess it all made sense." I spouted out while fiddling nervously with my sleeves.

Edward smiled again, looking confused. "It didn't bother you, his coming out? I mean clearly you stayed friends?"

"Well by then I had already met my husband" I said, Edward looked more confused than ever. _Oh God, I'm going to be telling this guy my life story tonight aren't I? _I thought. "But more than that Jasper sort of helped me pick up the pieces of my life when we met, so I felt like I owed him so much, I could never walk away from that" I continued. "Plus, it is who he is you know? A true friend should never expect someone to hide themselves. Honestly, I guess that is why I came out here at all for a visit to Jasper, hoping maybe he could help me pick up the pieces again". _Shut up Bella! Ugh, seriously, I'm talking to the most beautiful guy in the universe and I'm whining about my life, I really am so far lost there is no hope. _

**EPOV**

I sat there listening to her talk and I was taken aback by how open she was being. This was different, because she wasn't sitting there talking about how much she loved me or what she loved about the book or movie or asking to touch my hair. She was talking about herself, being real. I can't remember the last time anyone was real with me. "_A true friend should never expect someone to hide themselves", _I thought. Exactly right.

"Pick up the pieces again?" I asked, picking up on that last word, wondering what it was that she needed help picking up.

She looked down fiddling with her sleeves and bit her lip. "My husband died a year ago in a car crash and I've been sort of lost ever since" she said.

I started running my hands through my hair nervously. "Oh, I'm so sorry" I stammered. I didn't know what to say.

She looked so vacant now, so damaged. She stared off into the crowd of people, but was looking through them instead of at them. I saw tears starting to form in her eyes. I felt this urge to just scoop her up in my arms and tell her it was going to be okay.

With a deep breath, she straightened up and said with resolve "You know, I didn't come here to whine to some stranger about my problems and life issues, that is what Jasper is going to have to listen too after putting me through this hell".

"Hell is it? Yes, I imagine it is hell sitting here talking to me" I laughed.

"No, no, not talking to you!" she smiled pushing me playfully as if we were old friends. "I just meant being around all of these strangers. I just feel like every day I have to pretend, to be something or someone I'm not. When James died, everything around me stopped, but then everyone else started moving on and with that came the expectation that I would move on as well. So I just started living the lie, pretending that I wasn't dying slowly every day. I wanted to come here to stop pretending for a few days, or maybe just forget for a few days and I figured who better than Jasper to help me sort of forget for a moment? Yet here I am talking to the Hollywood It Boy and I'm crying over my dead husband. Score one for Bella!"

I sat there stunned. _"Every day I have to pretend, to be something or someone I'm not" _I replayed in my head. She got it. She knew. This woman sitting in front of me knew what it felt like. Suddenly the party around me disappeared and I only had eyes for her. I had to keep her here with me, talking. I felt drawn to her, connected, I couldn't let her walk away right now.

"Hollywood It Boy?" I said through a smile running my hands through my hair, "well if you are going to cry, at least let me keep you company, misery loves company". She groaned and put her face in her hands.

"Here, I'll help take the edge off" and I turned to grab the waiter and said "A bottle of Patron, two glasses, some salt and some lemon wedges".

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a/n: reviews are appreciated!


	3. Chapter 3

**a/n: The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, I'm just borrowing them in my happy fantasy land.**

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**Chapter 3**

**BPOV**

_This is it, I'm really going round the bend. Here I am talking to quite possibly the world's most gorgeous man and I'm talking non stop about my entire life story. I'm worthless! _ I thought.

The waiter came over and set down the tequila and accompaniments. I sighed while preparing the salt. "Well maybe if I get you hammered enough you wont remember any of this" I said. To that I licked the salt off my hand, I lifted the shot glass and threw it back. _Fuck it_, I thought, _just let yourself live for once. _It burned the entire way down and I coughed and sputtered because it has been far too long since I had done a shot. I crammed the lime in my mouth quickly as the burning continued and looked up at Edward who was throwing his head back and laughing. His smile lit up the room. Seeing that smile was worth making a total ass out of myself.

He easily threw back the shot and sucked on the lime afterwards. I caught myself staring at his red lips wrapped around the lime and felt warm inside. My mind started wandering to other places those lips could be. _Get a grip Bella, this guy is WAY out of your league. _I thought.

Feeling the need to prove something or just to forget, I started lining up the next shot. I glanced up at him and he had this playful smile on his face regarding me.

"I think I've unleashed a monster" Edward said playfully as we finished the next round.

"I am quite sure I can't match you shot for shot, party boy", I said laughing. Laughing. Really laughing. Happy. Joyful. Maybe Jasper knew what he was doing after all.

"Oh don't worry, I have a 5 shot lead on you" Edward teased "what the fuck did you think I was in the corner doing before Jasper came and got me?"

"Surveying the room trying to figure out who lucky fan girl #4,545 is going to be tonight?" I said giggling. His face changed instantly. I knew I fucked up by saying that.

He glowered at me "Sure, yeah, I guess that is what Hollywood It Boys do right?"

"No, no" I stammered "I was just joking around, I'm sorry, I really, I, I, have no idea what you do with women or whatever"

His eyes grew more fierce "Naturally since I am Edward Cullen I have spread the legs of every woman in Hollywood and then some right?" he said recoiling.

"Listen" I said, putting my hand on his, drinking in the warmth of his skin. I felt compelled to reach out to him, to feel him, because I had a feeling I was about 2 minutes away from him walking away from me and I couldn't allow that to happen right now.

I leaned into him and said "I am sorry. I don't know you at all. I didn't mean to stereotype you. I'm sure you get that all of the time and it has to suck. I fucked up. I am sorry. Please forgive me". My words were almost begging him.

His face softened a bit and he looked away, running his hands through his hair and whispered to himself "it does suck". My heart fell.

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a/n: no reviews hurt more than Edward does right now


	4. Chapter 4

**a/n: The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, I'm just borrowing them in my happy fantasy land.**

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**Chapter 4:  
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**EPOV**

_Of course that is what she thinks. Hollywood It Boy who fucks everything with boobs. _I seethed. _That is what they all think. _

She look her hand off of mine and put it on my face. It felt so warm there. Real. She turned my head to hers.

"I am sorry" she said defeated. "Please, can we start over? You made me laugh, a real laugh, for the first time in months. I don't want to walk away right now, I know you have no reason to forgive me, but please, forgive me" She looked at me imploring with her eyes for me to stay.

She had me there. I didn't want to walk away right now either. I couldn't even if I wanted to. This woman had drawn me in and I had to stay to find out everything I could about her.

I shook my head and said "Enough with the emo bullshit, okay? Are we going to get drunk or what?" I smiled again. She let her hands fall from my face and took my hand in hers, turning it over and putting the salt on it.

"Lick it, slam it, suck it" she giggled then licked the salt off of her hand. Watching her tongue glide over her hand with that naughty smile on her face I went to a place in my head I knew I shouldn't. I shifted uncomfortably, raised the glass and threw it back.

"New game" I said "20 questions, _I _start asking first".

"Well you better order a Red Bull or something because you'll need to stay awake to listen to anything about my boring life" she rolled her eyes.

"Somehow I don't think I'll have a problem" I said lining up the next round of shots. "I want you to feel comfortable answering my questions, so here is a little more liquid courage for you".

We did another round and I decided that if I got her too shitfaced she'd probably throw up on me so better to stop when I was ahead. She seemed more at ease now, a little slurry, yeah, but relaxed. I sat and thought about my line of questioning for a moment feeling peaceful.

"Where are you from?" I asked.

She exhaled laughing. "Wow, okay, that was easy, I was expecting some grand inquisition".

I smiled "Oh that is coming, never you fear Bella".

"I am from Gettysburg, Pennsylvania., I've lived there or around there pretty much my whole life, okay, one down, 19 more to go" she flagged down the waiter and ordered a Diet Coke. "I have a feeling it is going to be a long night" she said.

_I hope so_, I thought.

"Do you like it there?

"I really do" Bella responded.

I could see the tension start to melt away from her face. Those eyes, those beautiful brown eyes. The way the corner of her mouth turned up into that slight smile. She was beautiful. Devastatingly beautiful. She didn't even know it.

"The great thing about Gettysburg is that you live so close to everything. There is the whole rich history of Gettysburg and the battlefields and stuff. Then in like a short drive there is Washington, DC like the Smithsonian and the zoo. The White House, Congress and the monuments. The cool thing is that you can drive like 3 hours in any direction and get to something else entirely different like the beach or the mountains or New York City. We get all of the seasons there, but not too much of them. The worst thing really is the humidity in the summertime or the freaking ice storms in the winter." She said. "Where are you from?"

"Now, now" I smiled, "It is _my _turn to ask the questions, you'll get your turn in due time". I felt compelled to know as much about this woman as possible and I didn't want to share.

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a/n: reviews make me as tingly as being cornered by Edward and asked to play 20 questions


	5. Chapter 5

**a/n: The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, I'm just borrowing them in my happy fantasy land.**

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**Chapter 5:**

**BPOV**

I wasn't sure why Edward was even interested in this stuff about _me_ of all people. Boring old me. Where I lived, where I went to school, what my family was like, what my job was and my favorite color. Surely there were far more intriguing people in this room and here he sat with me. With those green eyes sparkling when he smiled. He'd been questioning me for hours now and I thought I'd never stop droning on and on.

"So you said you and Japser took it beyond friendship, how far beyond friendship?" Edward smiled at me with that shit eating grin of his knowing he was going to make me uncomfortable. "I said you weren't going to get off easy" he smirked.

"What, you want specifics?" I rolled my eyes, blushing.

"All the way baby" Jasper said playfully tugging at my hair.

_Ugh, fucking Jasper, why did he have to show up NOW! _I thought.

Jasper scooted me over and jumped next to me. Looking from me to Edward to the shot glasses smiling. "Emmett really should not try how to dance, that big burly teddy bear just doesn't know he is cursed with white boy dancing genes" Jasper laughed.

"So" Jasper said "what are we talking about besides my awesome sexual prowess with both sexes?"

I groaned. "Umm, did I say you were awesome or had prowess? Way to re-write history!" Edward laughed at that. Jasper looked momentarily defeated.

"Tell me if anyone else has fucked you 7 times in a night!" he squealed. I shot my eyes to Edward who looked actually angry at Jasper. Like he was ready to punch him in the face. Why would Edward look so angry?

"It's about quality my dear, not quantity" I giggled. Edward softened a bit seeing obviously I was not waxing nostalgic about Jasper's bedroom abilities.

"Are we discussing Jasper's tiny penis again?" boomed Emmett behind me.

With a huff Jasper stormed off and away. Emmett laughed and leaned in "Poor boy is so drunk he couldn't see when two people want some alone time" he said and then kissed me on the cheek. Then he whispered "you go girlfriend, 100 people in this room all want to be YOU right now".

I shifted uncomfortably. "_100 people in this room all want to be YOU right now." _I thought. Why was he sitting here with me? Boredom? Amusement?

"Now, I have 2 more questions left" Edward said looking relieved that it was just he and I again. "First, tell me what you are thinking right now?"

I bit my lip. "I'd rather not", I said.

Edward smiled and leaned into me "Well I guess you are sobering up too much" and poured 2 more shots. He took my hand in his and poured the salt. His hands were so warm. I felt this electricity pass through us again. _What are you doing Bella? _I thought. James' face passed through my mind. His smile. His voice. I felt like I was betraying him and my heart sunk. I threw back the shot quickly to numb myself more.

"Tell me" he said.

"What I am thinking now or what I was thinking 3 minutes ago?" I said.

"Whichever" he responded.

I decided that 3 minutes ago was better than being a downer. "Well I guess I was just wondering why Hollywood It Boy is sitting here talking to me of all people." I said.

Edward smiled and leaned in "If you could see yourself through my eyes you would know the answer to that question". My heart started beating faster and I blushed. Then I thought about James again and felt that familiar stab of regret.

"Last question?" I exclaimed. Happy to be ending this line of questioning, looking forward to my own grand inquisition of Edward.

"Do you want to get out of here?" he said. I panicked.

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a/n: Reviews make me as gleeful as Edward asking you to get out of here


	6. Chapter 6

**a/n: The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, I'm just borrowing them in my happy fantasy land.**

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**Chapter 6:  
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**EPOV**

"Do you want to get out of here?" I said. The look in her eyes was pure terror. I don't know what the hell just came over me asking that. I just wanted to be away from the prying eyes of all of these people. From Jasper discussing his sexploitations. Damn, that pissed me off when he talked about her like that.

"I just am in dire need of some coffee and some food in this very drunk stomach" I stammered, hoping it was going to be enough to relax her. "Remember I was 5 shots ahead of you!"

"Umm, okay, sure, I just need to tell Jazz I'm heading out" she said with a more relaxed smile. I watched her walk away to find Jasper. Watching her move across the room. She was not graceful at all, maybe even a little clumsy, but I couldn't take my eyes off of her. The way her clothes just hugged her curves enough to make you want to see more. The way her hair bounced as she walked.

_Bloody hell_. I thought. _Don't fuck this up Edward, maybe this is someone you could be real around. _I tried to push that thought out of my head. I've known this girl for what? 3 hours now? _Get a grip Edward._

She came back with this great big smile on her face. She looked excited, happy. She had changed from that first moment I saw her. I helped her change. Me. Edward Cullen. I reached out and took her hand and said "lets go".

I had them call a cab and headed off to this great all night diner I knew of where I often went to hide. It was small and a hole in the wall and with the right hat & glasses on, no one knew me there. _My place to be Edward,_ I thought.

It felt fitting to take her there because all night I wasn't pretending, I wasn't hiding. I was me.

I reached into my jacket and got my baseball hat and glasses. "Hollywood It Boy needs to be incognito unless you want the entire screaming fan girl universe to hang on our every word".

"That sucks that you always have to have that, to have to hide like that, is it hard for you?" she said. She was still holding onto my hand, then she absentmindedly started stroking it while we rode. It felt wonderful to feel her skin on mine.

"Well then, you certainly get right down to business don't you?" I said smiling "Remember you only get 20 questions though, and then it is _my _turn again.

_Time to be real,_ I thought.

"It is probably the thing I hate most about all of this. I mean I wanted this, I did. I've always had the flair for the arts" I took my other hand and started running it through my hair. I did this when I got nervous. "I just never thought it would be this hard".

I turned to face her in the cab. _Let it go Edward, tell her, tell her everything._ My thoughts haunted me. For so long I wanted to talk to someone who would listen and here she was. I wasn't alone. _Take the mask off Edward. _

"Remember how earlier you said 'everyday I have to pretend, to be something or someone I'm not'? That is how I feel. Every day. I live behind a mask, a character. No one cares about Edward Cullen other than my family. Honestly I don't even know if I'm real around them anymore either. I don't want to worry them, to upset them. Esme, my mom, worries constantly." I put my head on the side of the seat drinking in her face. She looked so interested in what I had to say, stroking my hand lovingly and gingerly.

"So I play the role of Edward Cullen – Hollywood It Boy every day of my life. Every day I feel like I lose more and more of myself." I looked down shocked at how I was opening up to her.

"Every day I do the things I'm supposed to do, be seen in public, have hot girl number 2,343 on my arm" she laughed then, I'm glad she could laugh now at what made me so angry earlier. "I guess I'm just growing tired of it all, I am so tired of being alone and having no one really know _me_ at all".

She held my hand between hers and brought it up to her chest and sighed. I could feel her heart beating it was so close. She looked into my eyes and said "I know exactly how you feel" and I saw tears spilling over her eyes.

I reached out with my free hand and wiped them away. Taking in every bit of her face, her eyes, her smell, the feel of her skin beneath mine, the beat of her heart. "I am glad" I said. I was tingling all over touching her, being near her. I don't think I've ever felt this way before.

Then the cab driver yelled out "we are here" and we both jumped with a start. When I was with her, it seemed like there was no one else in the world but her and me.

I got out of the car and held out my hand. "Lets go inside shall we"?

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a/n Reviews are appreciated!


	7. Chapter 7

**a/n: The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, I'm just borrowing them in my happy fantasy land.**

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**Chapter 7:  
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**BPOV**

I just couldn't believe this was happening to me. Edward Cullen. The man who has everything, is just as lonely and empty as I am inside. He gets it. He understands. I don't have to hide.

We sat down at the table and it was odd seeing him behind the sunglasses and the hat. _Always hiding himself_ I thought.

"Would you like the usual, Cedric?" the waitress said.

I giggled out loud. He smiled that knowing smile of his that lit up the room and said "yes, please".

I said that I wanted the same. Not really caring what it was, but rather just wanting her to leave so I could know more about him.

"The same? Aren't we feeling bold tonight?" he laughed.

"Oh no, you don't eat weird foods do you?" I squealed in disgust. "I just wanted to be alone with your alter ego Cedric for a while".

How fitting that he uses Cedric to hide. Cedric Diggory from Harry Potter. His first starring role. What first landed him on the map. People forget about it because it was eclipsed by his more prominent roles. I thought it was brilliant for him to use that name.

He threw back his head and laughed. That easy carefree laugh. "I think it is pretty fitting don't you?".

The waitress brought back two coffees. "Thank God!" I said. "I was expecting like some latte that had been shat out of some bird three decades ago in the deep jungles of the Amazon".

He leaned in "oh no dear, that is what is for dessert!" laughing again.

This felt so natural. So right. I reached across the table to take his hand to feel his warmth, his contact and that is when I saw HER.

Tanya Denali. Hollywood It Girl. Often seen dripping off of Edward's arm on the red carpet. Looking perfect as always. "Cedric, darling!" she exclaimed looking me over as if I was pest on her windshield that needed to be wiped away.

Edward stiffened and clinched his jaw together.

"I had a feeling I'd find you here" she said dripping with sexuality. My heart sunk a bit. _Stupid Bella, thinking he brought you someplace special, _I thought with an ache in my chest.

She picked up his coffee and took a huge sip. By now she was practically sitting in his lap, her hands all over him. I wished I could crawl out of the booth and back to Jasper's house.

"Edward" I heard her purr into his hear "I so need a release tonight. I'm so high, I need you to help me come down in the way you know best". Her hands dragging across his chest, reaching for his shirt to pull it up. It felt like a dagger had been driven into my heart. _What the fuck Bella, what did you really __think for a second he liked YOU. Boring you. Stupid girl. _I thought.

I saw Edward's jaw clinch tighter as he hissed through his teeth "Tanya, you are high, let me call you a cab and get you home" as he grabbed her arms and pushed her back.

"Edward" she purred again trying to get back into his lap, her arms pulling free, her hand grazing across his thigh heading towards his zipper "you know you need this as much as I do, what do you think that airhead Irina is a better fuck buddy that me? Or who is it this week? Jane? Victoria? Please those bitches can't hold a candle to me"

I couldn't take it anymore. Tanya? Irina? Jane? Victoria? So much for stereotypes being wrong. I pushed back from the table and scrambled out of there. "Um, I better be getting back to Jazz's, I'll get a cab, thanks again" trying as fast as I could to get out of there.

In all of my grace I tripped over a chair leg on my way out and stumbled towards the ground. _Way to go Bella, way to make a grand exit._ I thought.

I felt his hands around me trying to help me up. "Bella, are you okay?" he said. I turned on him pushing him away.

"What kind of fucking game are you playing at here _Cedric_" I said hissing. The anger was building. _Stupid Bella as if HE would EVER want YOU. _I kept repeating in my head. "Is this how you get your rocks off? Picking up sad pathetic women at parties? Was Jasper in on it? Ugh, you make me sick. I am better than a notch on your bedpost or whatever else you fucking do with your trophies you disgusting man whore".

I pushed away, turned and ran out of the diner into the darkness needing to get away. Anywhere but here. I could hear him calling me in the darkness telling me to wait and I didn't care. I just ran, then I found a cab and got in. "Drive, just drive!" I cried.

I lowered my head into my hands and started sobbing. All of the hope I felt just an hour ago was gone. I was played. He took my loneliness and used me. Edward Cullen was such an asshole. _Stupid silly girl. _I thought.


	8. Chapter 8

**a/n: thanks for everyone who read the story so far. I have a lot of the story mapped out in my head, but getting it out on paper takes a while. Our favorite couple has to go through some angst before they let it go of course ;) **

**The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, I'm just borrowing them in my happy fantasy land.**

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**Chapter 8:  
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**EPOV**

I was reeling. This did not just happen. Then I feel Tanya's hand on my ass saying "I thought she'd never leave" dripping with sex. I turned around furious.

"Get the fuck off me, Tanya!" I pushed her back. She looked shocked. "I'm calling you a cab and it will take you home, please just leave me the fuck alone". I stormed into the diner, over to the counter and asked them to call her a cab and keep her there until it came.

I had to get out of here. I gave the waitress money and apologized. I ran out the door hoping to find a cab and get to Jaspers. I didn't know where else to find her. Bella, my Bella. What must she think of me. _Exactly what everyone else thinks of you, you fool, _I thought. I hailed a cab and told him to head to West Hollywood.

Fucking Tanya. I knew it was a mistake to bring her here to the diner. I was hoping she'd get it because maybe she felt the same way. I thought maybe she could be someone I could be real with. Tanya thought it was just some stupid role playing game. Fucking empty soulless Tanya. My stupid publicist thought it would be great for our images to be seen together. I thought maybe just maybe she would get what I was going through. She lived for being her persona. I don't think she even cares who she really is.

Stupid horny bastard Hollywood It Boy had to sleep with her of course. Huge mistake. She kept calling and begging for me to come over to get her off. Half of the time I would, just to feel something, anything. Bella was right about me. She pegged me dead on. Looking for the next fan girl. I remember being so angry about her seeing me that way, I guess it was because she was fucking right.

I snapped at the cab driver "Can you hurry up please!" I had to get to her, I had to see Bella. I couldn't lose her from my life. I couldn't walk away. The panic that ran through me was so strong I couldn't think straight.

What could I say to her to prove she saw the real me? What could I do to get her back? I didn't know but I needed to try. To see her. To feel her. To touch her. To open up to her. How could she believe so easily that I didn't care? How could she not see I was being real? How could she not feel it? My heart ached at the thought of how quickly she turned on me. How quickly she believed I was only interested in getting into her pants. _Why would she see more than that? _I thought ruefully. My mind kept going faster and faster. I was on overload.

After what seemed like an eternity, I pulled up to Jasper's house. It looked like pretty much everyone had cleared out at this point. I asked the driver to wait for me, just in case she wasn't there, I got out of the cab and ran for the door. Praying that it wasn't too late.

The door opened before I could knock, Emmett stood there blocking my way. "I don't think this is the best idea Edward" Emmett said looking down at me in disgust.

"Emmett, you don't understand! What she thinks of me, I can't have her think that, I have to talk to her, I have to see her!" I was in a panic, my eyes searching around the house for her. "Bella, Bella, please come talk to me!" I yelled out. I was losing it.

Emmett's hand wrapped around my arm and yanked me into the house. "Listen Edward, I like you, I do, but Bella is sweet and kind, she is one of the best people I know, I can't let you fuck with her" he said. I had never seen Emmett so protective of anything, not even Jasper. What must she have said to them? What must she think of me?

"Emmett, I'm not fucking with her! I swear I'm not. Tonight. With her. There was a connection. It was the best night I've had in 3 fucking years. I can't leave here without seeing her again." I grabbed onto Emmett, begging him, begging for him to let me see her. I was out of my mind. I didn't care if I had to spill my heart out to him right here, right now, I had to get through to him. "I'm not trying to fuck her, as if I'd need some elaborate set up! You know I don't! Jasper brought ME to HER, I didn't seek her out".

Emmett's face studied me with curiosity, he softened and he put his arm around my neck and smiled. "Because I'm a romantic at heart, I'll see what I can do. WAIT HERE though and calm the fuck down!".

He disappeared and I heard he and Jasper shouting at each other upstairs. I tried to make out what they were saying, I tried to hear her voice somewhere up there, but I couldn't.

Jasper bounded down the stairs and was to me in seconds. He pulled me up off the couch where I was waiting and growled grabbing me by the shirt and pushing me towards the door "Get the fuck out of my house Cullen". He was red faced and angry. This was the angriest I've ever seen Jasper too. Emmett was standing in the doorway just shaking his head.

"Jasper, please, listen to me, I'm not fucking with Bella, I'm not. I NEED to see her again, I NEED to set this right. You can be in the room, I don't care, I don't want to hurt her Jasper, I just can't let her go without setting it right". Anything it took, I'd do. Hell I'd blow him if that is what it took. I had to see her. I had to make her understand what she meant to me.

"Jasper, Emmett, please give me a minute with Edward". Her voice, her sweet voice. My Bella. Tears started flowing now. I sank to the couch as I watched her descending the stairs. Bella, my angel, my beautiful angel. I sat there trying to compose myself. _Don't fuck this up Edward, this is your only chance, _I thought.

Jasper glared at me and put his finger to my face menacingly. "I'll be upstairs if you need me Bella" he said through gritted teeth and stormed upstairs with Emmett.

Bella squeezed Jasper's shoulder as he walked up the stairs and gave him a look that said she was going to be fine. She turned her head to me with hatred in her eyes and said "Well then, talk, you have 5 minutes" through gritted teeth.


	9. Chapter 9

**a/n: thanks for everyone who read the story so far. I even got a review! (Squeals like a happy fangirl, thank you thank you). I have the next few chapters written out, but I'm trying to make sure it all fits with where I see the story going. The end gets a bit more, PG-13. Nothing too bad though. Certainly not in lemon-land (yet).  
**

**The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, I'm just borrowing them in my happy fantasy land.**

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**Chapter 9:**

**BPOV**

_Why in the hell did Edward follow me back here? Is this some sick game or something? Why is he here. Ugh. Can't I just go home now? _I thought.

I decided Edward probably wasn't going to leave willingly unless I just went downstairs. 5 minutes. That was all he was getting. I could hear Jasper screaming at him telling him to leave.

When I saw him, he looked completely crazed. Wild eyed. Panting. When he locked eyes on me, he started crying and sank down onto the couch completely defeated. _What the hell is going on here_, I thought. It didn't matter, I was through with Edward Cullen and his games. I just needed to send him packing. I came down the steps and motioned to the couch for him to sit down next to me. _Hold it together Bella, don't let him see how much he hurt you, _I thought.

"Bella" he said, taking my hand in his. I jerked it back. I didn't need his electricity and warmth screwing with my resolve. How dare he touch me? My anger was rising. I wasn't in the mood for games.

"Bella, please, listen to me" Edward pleaded. "I know how all of that looked earlier, I'm going to be honest with you, as I've been all night. Tanya, well our publicists wanted us together for PR, they said it would be on the cover of every magazine if we started 'dating'" he said while putting up his fingers in air quotes.

Was he kidding me here, they weren't dating? How stupid did he think I was? "Oh right and I'm sure her hand on your cock was all for show for the magazines who weren't even there!" I spit. I felt sick to my stomach, I couldn't deal with any of this right now.

His face snapped up at me in anger, his eyes blazing at mine. "Bella, stop, listen to me, let me fucking finish!" he yelled. Edward took a deep breath and continued "So we get drunk or high or whatever one night and we fucked. I'm not proud of it. But she was there and I needed to feel, something, anything with someone. She kept calling me and begging for me, and I mean I did it. When I left I would always feel more vacant than when I went in". He couldn't look at me right now. He kept nervously running his hands through his hair, he looked as if he was crawling out of his skin.

"So I thought maybe if I let her in more, maybe if I gave her the chance to see me, then maybe it could be real, so I took her to the diner, I introduced her to Cedric, I tried to show her me" he continued. He stood up now and started pacing. He really seemed to be unhinged. "She didn't care of course because she is more empty than I am, she thought it was some role playing bullshit. That was the last night we went out together and it was a month ago." He walked to the doorway, his back to me and put his head down on the door frame for a minute. I watched as his hands went through his hair, they were shaking he was so upset.

I was overcome with the need to go to him, to hold him, to stroke his hair and tell him it would be okay. Then I remembered the others and I stayed firmly planted where I was.

"So that is Tanya, who the fuck is Irina or Victoria or Jane then?" I screeched.

Edward dropped to a squat, head in his hands, defeated. He turned to look at me and tears were spilling down his face again. He stood up and walked to me, speaking in almost a whisper as he did so. "Irina was a co-star in a movie, I slept with her once, it was a huge mistake, she was a friend of Tanya's and it just was a bad situation all around. Tanya got off on it, wanted to have a threesome one day". He rolled his eyes in disgust at the mention of her name again, he couldn't look at me, he was just staring at the ground biting his lip in nervous tension.

I inhaled sharply. I really just didn't want to know all of this.

"And Victoria, Jane?" My voice was softer now, bracing myself for the next great blow.

"They were women I would go out with for PR purposes, I never slept with either of them or did anything with them other than pretend, they had other men, but needed more press, so our publicists got us together." He sat down on the couch again and put his head in his hands. "This world Bella, you don't understand it" he said softly "it was like I was telling you earlier, it is all a mask, a game, an act. Even with those women, who I thought could possibly understand me, what I was going through, I was more alone than ever."

I relaxed more on the couch next to him, I positioned myself so I was facing him more now, staring at him. Watching how upset he looked, wanting nothing more than to take him in my arms and tell him everything was going to be okay. He turned and took my face in his hands and rested his forehead on mine.

"Bella, tonight, with you, that was real. That was me, that was Edward. It wasn't Hollywood It Boy. It was me. For the first time in a long time I was me. It was the best night of my life. With you. I didn't want you to see my past just yet because I feared exactly this would happen." He leaned in and put his head on my shoulder, hugging me closer now. My heart was beating fast.

"Bella, I don't need to play games to get women into my bed. More importantly hurting you is the last thing I ever would want to do" he said, gripping my shirt like if he let go, I'd fly away. I let my arms go around his neck, bringing him closer to me. My head was spinning.

"Bella, I know I'm not good for you, I know, but I can't walk away from you. Tonight with you, I felt real. More real than I've ever felt in years. It was like a drug to me. My own personal brand of heroin. I'm addicted to you Bella, the way you make me feel when I am with you, you don't know how long I've been waiting for you." He brought his eyes up to mine and all of the ice in my heart melted away. _He feels the same way you do, _I thought.

We locked eyes in that moment. I could see his eyes begging me for forgiveness, those beautiful green eyes, so bloodshot and red between the drinking, the crying and the late hour. I took my hand up to his face and I traced the outer corner of his eye with my thumb. His skin felt so smooth and warm under my touch. A realization hit me like a truck, my breath caught for a minute as a familiar face came into my thoughts. _ It wasn't his fault that I reacted this way tonight, _I thought, _you reacted that way because it easier to run than it was to face the way you feel. _ I put my my forehead down on his lips "I'm sorry Edward, I shouldn't have ran out so fast, I should have let you explain". I said. It was my turn to do the apologizing.

"That was the hardest part for me tonight" he whispered "knowing you saw the real me and was repulsed by what you saw".

My eyes shot up to his, I took his face in both hands forcefully and held him in my grasp speaking authoritatively to him now "The real you was not the man parading around with those skanks, that was the mask, I just was too stupid to sit back and take a minute to figure that out. The real Edward Cullen is the man in front of me, raw and exposed, the man who isn't afraid to show himself, flaws and all. The man who I couldn't get enough of tonight." My tears were spilling over my eyes now. My stomach was tied in knots. I turned my back to him and looked down. I was fidgeting nervously with my sleeves.

"Edward, I ran because I'm scared, because I haven't felt this way since James died. I found it easy tonight to just let go, to laugh, to talk. You don't know how long it has been since I felt that way." My tears came faster now. His hands held me around my waist pulling me closer to him. "Nothing tonight felt forced at all and really it should have. You are freaking Edward Cullen. Girls everywhere swoon at the sight of you and tonight you listened to me, to my problems. I told you things I've only thought in my mind for a year. I bared my soul to you."

Edward nuzzled his face in my hair. He felt so warm next to me. I closed my eyes and felt his body next to mine. The lump of guilt started forming in my throat as I remembered James, who for several moments tonight, I forgot ever existed.

"The thing is since we are being honest here, I feel guilty, I feel like betraying James by feeling this way. I pledged my life to him and I feel like I'm turning my back on that life." I sobbed. "I feel guilty because", I stopped short, I couldn't say it out loud just yet. I couldn't tell him that I felt the most guilty because I don't think I had ever felt such a pull to even James in my life. That was the ultimate betrayal of the man I promised to love forever.

He took my arms and turned to me around to face him, took my face in his hands, to hold my eyes to his. His hands felt so strong holding me there. "We have all of the time in the world Bella, I will be whatever you need to be for however long as you need it. I just can't lose you. I'll do whatever it takes" Edward said pleadingly.

I stared into those beautiful green eyes and felt safe and free. Free from the heavy sorrow that held my heart so tightly this past year. I closed my eyes and drank in his smell, I moved my hands over his shoulders feeling his strong arms move down my body and tighten around me. I looked up into his eyes once again and the world melted away around me. There was nothing else right now, only Edward and I.

I leaned in closer, I felt his soft lips graze mine so gently. He was holding back, waiting to see how I'd react. My body came alive at the feel of his soft lips, the smell of skin so close to mine. The floodgates opened and I started kissing him passionately. As if this was the last kiss I would ever have. Tonight may be all I have with him. I hummed softly into his mouth as my hands took on a life of their own, running through his soft hair, pulling him into me closer, feeling his tight muscles around me. My body was on fire, every touch sent shivers down my spine. My stomach was doing flip after flip. It has been so long since I felt like this. I let out a soft moan, it just felt so good.

His hands were exploring my body as well. My face, my arms, my back. His lips were pressed hard against mine, then would part anxiously to my waiting tongue. His lips were so soft but his kisses were so forceful. He pushed me back onto the couch and was on top of me. "Bella" he hummed crashing his lips into mine, sucking my lips with his, move his strong hands on the back of my neck into my hair, grasping and releasing me in his grip. "My Bella".


	10. Chapter 10

**a/n: thanks for the reviews!!! I have the next few chapters written out, but I'm trying to make sure it all fits with where I see the story going. the beginning is sort of PG-13. Nothing too bad though. Certainly not in lemon-land (yet).  
**

**The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, I'm just borrowing them in my happy fantasy land.**

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EPOV

I was losing control. I could feel it with every touch of her hand, with every parting of her lips. Her legs wrapped around my hips bringing me closer to her. My hardness pressing into her hip, she moaned. _I am going to explode,_ I thought.

I trailed my lips to her neck, kissing every inch of it. Wanting, needing to kiss every inch of her body. Taking in her taste with my tongue, the noises coming from her mouth, the feel of her hands on my body, every second I was losing control.

This fear came over me in a wave. I didn't want to just fuck her. I didn't want her to be the next Tanya. She was married before, she has baggage to deal with. I had to give her time. I couldn't lose myself. Once I lost control there would be no stopping me. _You got your second chance Edward, don't fuck it up now, _I thought.

I pulled away. She looked at me with confused eyes. Her hands grabbed my shirt and pulled me closer with more urgency. I pushed back. "Bella" I said "Bella stop". It took every strength I had to get up and walk away.

There she was breathless on the couch, looking confused. "Is something wrong with me?" she cried out.

My heart sank. "You don't know how hard that was for me to stop Bella, you don't know how badly I want you right now" I panted.

"Then why are you walking away?" Bella asked. The look on her face was one of complete confusion, defeat.

"Because Bella, if I lost control, if I went forward, there would be no going back. You are better than that. I don't want to rush into something only to have you regret it. You need to deal with your feelings for James, deal with this thing we have between us. We have been drinking tonight, hell, we just met! I just don't want you to wake up tomorrow, look over at me and think 'what the fuck was I thinking'" I said. "I want to be more than that to you."

"Last time I checked I'm a grown woman capable of making my own decisions" she said, with anger rising in her voice.

_There you go Edward, fucking up again, way to go man!_ I thought.

"Bella, it isn't that, please" I said softly, sitting next to her, running my hands in her hair. Holding her gaze for another minute. "I just don't want to rush into something and have it all fall away. I don't want you to be hurt, I couldn't live with myself if I hurt you, we have all of the time in the world, I'm not going anywhere".

Silence passed for what seemed like an eternity.

She sighed deeply. "You are right" she said "I'm sorry, I guess I just let the old hormones go a bit out of control. I mean hell, they were getting a little dusty hidden away in there. Also, for the record, I'm quite sure my first thought would be after rolling over in the morning would be 'score, I bedded Edward Cullen! Someone get me the number for Just Jared!'". Then she winked at me. I laughed. My adrenaline was starting to come down now, I was starting to relax again.

"I knew it, I just knew you were one of those star fuckers!" I giggled, wresting her under my arm and giving her a noogie.

Bella pulled away from me and her face changed and she looked at me with squinted eyes as if to pretend she was angry. "So" she said "I'm freaking starving here, is there anything in this crap town to eat?" Then smiled at me with that smile that melted my heart.

I smiled with relief. _Bella. My Bella. _I thought.

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a/n: sorry to be a tease, I just didn't want to jump them right into bed. I felt it lost something between them. I promised lemons though and darnit, there will be lemons eventually. Like all things, good things come to those who wait.

a/n cont: The next few chapters I think are kind of weak, so I'm going to put them up all at the same time, probably tonight or tommorrow night. I've been rewriting and rewriting and I can't come up with a good way to bridge this part to the next, so I'll just put a bunch up and hope you bear with me. Reviews are helpful, both good and bad, I'd love to know what it is I could improve on or what it is people like!


	11. Chapter 11

**a/n: thanks for the reviews!!!  
**

**The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, I'm just borrowing them in my happy fantasy land.**

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**BPOV**

"Well I think the diner is out now, I doubt I'll be able to go back there again after the scene I caused" Edward said.

I thought about it for a bit and then an idea popped into my head. _No, he'd never go for that, _I thought.

_Can't hurt to ask._

I looked down with a small grin on my face. _Just ask Bella, _I thought. "Actually, do you have some sort of bat cave here in LA, because I'd like some quiet and that is not Jasper's place. They will never let me sleep! I promise to be on my best behavior, we can order take out or something" she said with her hand raised up like a boy scout.

Edward looked terrified.

**EPOV**

The thought of the state of my apartment rolled through my head. Crap everywhere, check. Scary food things in the fridge, check. Unmade bed, check. Dirty sheets, check. Dirty dishes, check. _Fuck! Why don't I have a maid! _I cursed in my head.

I shifted, biting my lip "Well, I wasn't exactly expecting company and my place is kind of a sty, can we get a hotel room somewhere? Err, I mean I can get you a hotel room if you don't want me there of course. I promise I'll clean my place up for you and have you over before you leave." _Before you leave, _I thought. My heart sunk. _She is leaving._

"When are you leaving?" I asked with a heavy heart.

"I'm here for two weeks" Bella said with a smile. "You better not even think of leaving me alone in some hotel room!" she said as she punched me in the arm playfully.

"Your wish is my command" I said smirking.

"Let me run up and grab my stuff and tell Jasper and Emmett the plan, I'm sure they are still awake, most likely waiting for me upstairs to ambush me" she said.

"I'll call ahead to a hotel to set everything up, I'll use the one I use for my parents when they come for a visit, anything in particular to eat you want?" I asked.

"Surprise me" she said with a smile and bounded up the stairs.

**BPOV**

Jasper and Emmett did ambush me as I walked upstairs. They first wanted to be sure that I was okay and then made me promise that I would call tomorrow with all of the gory details.

The cab was still outside. _I wonder how much that is going to cost, _I thought.

The hotel wasn't too far away, he walked up to the check in desk. "Robert Diggory checking in" he said.

I giggled "Seriously, no one figures out that is you?"

"Hiding in plain sight in sometimes the best way to go" Edward said. "Besides they know where I am because they follow me, not because they think about it".

"How long will you be staying with us Mr. Diggory?" the front desk clerk asked.

He paused for a minute, unsure of how to respond.

"Two weeks" I said impulsively. _I can't believe I just said that! _I screamed inside my head. _Are you freaking INSANE. _

A huge smile erupted on his face and he put his arm around me. "You heard the lady, I trust that wont be a problem?" Edward asked.

"Not at all sir, we look forward to having you stay with us" the clerk answered handing us our room key cards.

We got up to the room. Room is an understatement. A penthouse suite. Bigger than my house. Flowers were everywhere, marble flooring, granite tabletops. It was positively luxurious. The bathroom was a the size of a small town alone.

"Edward! I can't afford 2 minutes at a place like this! Let alone two weeks." I never expected this much!

"Bella, I think I afford it, let me spoil you" he said.

There was a knock on the door, the food had arrived. "Since you missed out on my diner favorite, I thought I'd get it here for us, a way of picking up where we left off". He took the took the tops off with a laugh to reveal fresh fruit and blueberry pancakes. "My mom always made these for me growing up, it is sort of my comfort food".

"Always a surprise you are Edward Cullen" she said.

We sat down to eat. "So, I believe I have 19 questions left don't I?" I beamed. He groaned and said "fire away".

We talked for hours. This time it was him who was talking. I drank every word he said in. We was talking about his family. His father, Carlisle, was a doctor. His mom, Esme, was an interior decorator. He had two sisters, Rosalie and Alice. I knew of Rosalie, she was also an actress. She was stunning, quite possibly one of the most beautiful women ever. She went by the name of Hale instead of Cullen to separate herself from her brother. Edward seemed annoyed when he talked about her. When he spoke of Alice, he smiled, it was clear they were very close.

I listened to him talk about how he grew up, how his mom instilled in him a love of music, how his sisters treated him like a girl.

"What would you dream movie role be?", I asked.

He put his head back pondering that for a while. "I'd like to take on something that requires me to reach more, like deal with situations on screen that are deeper, darker, I wouldn't mind being the bad guy even."

_Darker Edward sounds hot._ I thought.

**EPOV**

We had spent the past few hours just talking about me. I was so ready to turn the tables.

I looked over at Bella and she just looked wiped out. I looked at my watch, it was 5 am. Which means for her it was 8 am.

"You must be exhausted" I said. "We should get some sleep".

"I feel bad Edward, I have all of my stuff and you don't have anything for yourself here".

"This is where it pays to be with a Hollywood It Boy" I said with a grin. "I took the liberty of asking them to send up a few things when I called for me".

Bella took a quick shower and my mind wandered to her while she was in there. The thought of the water glistening off her body. I threw my head back and groaned to myself. "Not now Edward" I said to myself. I was thinking of things to help tame the beast when she walked out.

Bella looked more beautiful than ever wearing a simple white tank top and pink cotton pajama pants.

"Sorry, I obviously wasn't expecting to like be seen by anyone other than Jasper and Emmett in this fierce ensemble" she said.

"You couldn't look more perfect" I said. I meant every word.

We both got under the covers and she just rolls her head onto my chest, running her hands across it. I pull her in tight, feeling her breath rise and fall against my chest. Breathing in the sweet smell of her hair.

She raised her head and kissed me on the lips ever so lightly. "Good night Edward" she said.

I smiled as I looked down at her. "Good morning Bella", I said with a laugh.

Before I could blink twice she was asleep in my arms. She felt so warm and comfortable. I didn't want to sleep, I wanted to take in every moment of her. The way her breath rose and fell with her sleep. The way her hair smelled. The way she felt in my arms. The way she made me feel. I was better than Edward Cullen. I was hers. I closed my eyes and went to sleep holding her tight.

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**a/n: reviews make me happy!**

**I know this chapter is sort of weak. I've written and re-written it several times, but I needed a bridge from the intensity of them first meeting to the next part of the story I have mapped out. Bear with me, it gets better! I promise.  
**

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	12. Chapter 12

**a/n: More PG-13ish, maybe bordering on R if you factor in Edward's thoughts. no lemons.  
**

**The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, I'm just borrowing them in my happy fantasy land.**

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**BPOV**

I woke up in a daze. _Did last night really happen, _ I thought. I felt his arms around me, I heard the sound of his heart beating in my ear. _I guess it did really happen._

I laid there trying to take it all in. How easy it was to be around him. How easy it was to forget about my life in Pennsylvania. How happy he made me feel. I hadn't known him for even 24 hours and already I felt this strong attachment to him.

He was so raw with me last night, so open. He put his heart out there to me. Me! Homely little Bella Swan. I just didn't understand.

His eyes, his smile, his porcelain skin, his body, everything about Edward Cullen was simply perfect. Then there was the kissing. I started tingling at the reminder of his lips against mine, the way he felt kissing my neck. I started running my hands over his chest slowly, trying to take in every curve of his body.

I felt him starting to stir and I felt his arms tighten around me and his lips kissing the top of my head.

"Good morning, Bella" he said.

"Good afternoon, Edward" I giggled. In the distance I heard my phone ringing. I hopped out of bed to check it, Jasper was calling of course.

"Hey Jazz" I said picking up the phone. "I'm fine, I'm fine! Shut up Jasper. We just woke up! Shut UP Jasper. Nothing to tell Jasper. Sure, we can meet you guys for dinner, 8 pm? Dazzle me with the restaurant okay? Later". I turned off the phone and turned back to Edward. "Dinner in 6 hours with Jasper and Emmett, they expect details!".

"Bloody hell" he said stretching running his hands through that gorgeous hair of his. "I guess I need to shower and change clothes then, I was hoping to just lay here all day", he said with a smirk.

"Or you could just stay dirty for me" I said with a playful look.

"You shouldn't have said that" he teased while grabbing me and pulling me onto the bed. Before I knew it he was on top of me, crushing his soft lips into mine. He was tickling me now and I couldn't stop laughing. I decided the best defense was a good offense and turned him over and got on top of him. Looking down I said "you are mine now Robert Diggory" and started my own tickle attack.

I locked eyes with him and we stopped our attacks. My breathing quickened being on top of him. I bit my lower lip at the way he was looking at me with such lust in his eyes. I leaned down and took his lower lip in mine softly. Then more exploring I started kissing him all over his face, feeling the scratch of his stubble on my skin. I felt his hands moving over my back, trailing down to my ass, groping, grabbing, searching for more. I groaned at the feel of his touch. He groaned back at my putting more of my weight on top of him, feeling his hardness against my thigh. Under the thin fabric of his boxers I could tell he was huge. I thrust my hips towards him wanting to feel every inch of him. His fingers clinched around my ass.

I moved my lips to his neck now, he moaned louder at the feel of my tongue on his neck. I was pulling at his shirt, wanting to feel his skin next to mine. His hands moved to block mine. "Bella" he whispered through his teeth "love, you are going to be the death of me". He grabbed me and rolled me off of him.

"Sorry" I said. "I told you, cobwebs were forming on my hormones. You go looking all sexy with your bed hair and your wake up eyes and I couldn't help myself!".

He rolled his eyes and said "one day love, I promise, I'll let go and give your cobwebs a good cleaning out, just give it time" He gave my neck an soft kiss and a flick of his tongue.

"Where is Jasper getting us reservations to dinner?" he asked.

Panic started to rise in my thoughts "Edward! I don't have anything to wear tonight, I wasn't expecting any of this."

"Leave it up to me" he said. He asked me what sizes I needed and then called down to the front desk and asked for them to send an assortment of dresses and shoes in my size. He also asked for some things to be sent up for him.

"Must be nice" I said.

"It comes at a very large price" he added with a sigh.

**EPOV**

I stood in the shower letting the water fall over me. I remembered the feel of her body on top of mine. The sound of her voice when she moaned. _I am never going to get rid of this hard on, _I thought. So I did with every red blooded man would do in my situation, I relieved myself. I felt guilty doing it with her in the next room, but it was the only way I'd be able to have any tiny bit of control around her. I closed my eyes and imagined it was her hand on me and I came almost immediately.

Feeling refreshed, I put on the hotel robe and came into the room where Bella was accepting the clothes from the bell boy. I went to my wallet and got out some cash and gave it to him.

"Fashion show time" I said with a grin as I looked at some of the sexy numbers that were brought up for her. _Be sure to tip the boutique owner well for this, _I thought.

She picked out a few dresses and came out to show me, blushing brighter each time. Each was sexier than the last. _Thank God I took care of business because I'd be exploding in my pants right now, _I thought. We settled on this gorgeous green dress that showed just enough cleavage to make you want to see more and hugged her body in all of the right places. She put on a pair of black pumps that made me want to strip her down and take her right there.

"Your turn" she teased, smacking me on the ass as I grabbed up some pants and headed into the other room.

I came out with the first pair that fit and I saw her eyes darting all over my chest. I hadn't brought in a shirt. The way she was eying me was enough to arouse me all over again. _Get a grip Edward! You can't be walking around in public with a rock hard on all night, _I thought. With a sigh I started thinking of the most non-sexual things I could to get my mind off of her for a minute.

We arrived at the restaurant on time. Every eye in the place was on Bella. She shifted nervously with all of the attention. "Every man in this place is thinking that lucky bastard Edward Cullen" I whispered in her ear with a smile. I took her by the waist and walked to the bar where Jasper and Emmett were waiting. I found I was able to control my dirty thoughts better with all of these people around.

"Where did you get THAT dress Bella? You look HOT!" Jasper said. He was twirling her around taking her in. She looked as if she didn't want to be shown off in such a way, so I took her arm and folded her in my arms. She relaxed immediately.

Just as we sat down to dinner, my phone started ringing. I checked the number, my stupid publicist Lauren, she could be such a pain in my ass. I put the phone away without answering. Almost immediately it started ringing again. This time it was my agent Ari. "What the fuck is going on" I groaned shoving it back into my pocket. Then the phone started going off again and it was my publicist again. "I should probably take this, I'm so sorry". They started talking to themselves while I heard the screeching voice in my ear.

"What the fuck did you do, Edward?" Lauren screamed.

"What the fuck are you talking about, Lauren?" I shot back.

"Well someone has apparently been talking out of turn. Perez has an exclusive. Everything you ever wanted to know about Edward Cullen in the sack, right down to his dick size! Which girl did you piss off, Edward?" she screeched.

I threw my head back putting my hand over my eyes and sighed "Tanya, I'm sure it was Tanya I told her to back the fuck off" I chided running my hand through my hair.

"Haven't I taught you anything Edward, don't you listen to me? You don't piss off these bitches, they go for blood! Ugh, I have so much freaking spin to do now, dammit Edward!" Lauren hissed.

"I don't fucking care about Tanya or what she says to who. I don't really care if the rest of the world doesn't buy into your image of me for one fucking day or if they think I have a tiny dick or whatever". I slammed the phone shut angrily. Jasper and Emmett looked at me stunned. I locked eyes with Bella and she was beaming at me with pride.

"So what did Tanya say to who?" Jasper leaned in asking excitedly.

"You are such a freaking drama queen" Bella said pushing Jasper's head away.

"Apparently she gave some exclusive to Perez about me, who knows about what, but I believe my prowess or lack thereof was part of the deal." I said rolling my eyes.

"Ooh, we can look it up on my phone" she whips out her phone and starts punching the screen with her thumbs. Jasper and Emmett whip out their phones and start feverishly thumbing the site name. They all stop and look at my hands not holding a phone typing things in incredulously.

"My phone doesn't have Internet", I said.

Jaws dropped.

"What? Not every phone has Internet? I like this phone!" I said.

Bella's hand shot out and motioned her hand for me to hand it over. "Let me see this thing" she said. I handed it to her and they all started laughing at me.

"What the hell Edward" she said. "I mean don't you have freaking people to like get you good stuff, aren't they supposed to shower you stars with swag bags? THIS is the piece of shit you call people on. Christ, can you even text?" She was laughing now, full throated laughs. Her eyes danced in the light.

"Tomorrow morning we are going to get you a decent freaking phone. My goodness. Give me the name of your assistant so I can call her up and tell her what a crap job she is doing." Bella giggled.

"How do you know my assistant is a woman?" I asked.

They all laughed again together. This was getting tiresome, three against one. "As if your assistant would be anything else" Emmett said rolling his eyes.

"In case of emergency, lift skirt" Jasper snorted with that grin on his face that made me want to rip his face off.

They all gasped into their phones at once. "What, what?" I said holding out my hand to see.

"Edward Cullen, who is known for playing the role of Robert Pattinson in the Moonlight series is lacking in the sack" Jasper read snickering. "Despite having an reportedly impressive 8 inch unit, it is said that E. Cull comes up short with ability. A leading Hollywood actress who has been seen on E. Culls arm, confided in me that the star could benefit from some sex therapy to improve his game as he was unable to bring her to climax despite repeated attempts. We still would do him though! I'm sure we could teach him a thing or two that these Hollywood babes don't know!". Jasper attempted to take a sip of his martini and snorted his drink through his nose.

Emmett started banging the table in hysterics. Bella was crying she was laughing so hard. I wanted to either stand on top of the table and assure her that I could please a woman or crawl in a hole a die. _Fucking Tanya, _I thought.

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a/n: Edward may be seemingly super dirty here, but he IS a man and he DOES lust after Bella just as much as he loves her. This is more bridging to sort of start bringing up how different Edward's world can be. Blog blasts when you piss someone off, people doing what he wants. This will be an important theme later.


	13. Chapter 13

**a/n: thank you soooo much for the reviews. Honestly it makes me happy to know that people out there are enjoying this story. Keep them coming, even if you don't like something, tell me what is or isn't working! I am but your humble servant!  
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**The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, I'm just borrowing them in my happy fantasy land.**

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**BPOV**

I just couldn't stop laughing. Poor Edward. We were bullying him. The phone, the blog, the entire previous 24 hours, it has been a long day for him. It was cruel to laugh at his expense really.

I reached over and took his hand under the table and stroked the back of it with my thumb. He squeezed it back tightly in his. I slid a glance his way and smiled, telling him with my eyes that I'm sorry for making him the butt of my jokes. I was going to change the subject.

"So Edward, how is it that you know Jasper and Emmett?" I asked.

Jasper raised his martini "I like this story" he said with a smirk.

"Emmett used to date my sister Rosalie for over a year" Edward looking up at Emmett, who put his head back and exhaled a huge sigh. "That is until he met Jasper, realized he was gay and broke up with her" Edward laughed.

"Home wrecker" I said swatting at Jasper.

Emmett was shaking his head now, you could see he felt ashamed about this topic of discussion.

"Emmett, the timing may have been bad, but you can't change who you are, better to be honest with her than to live a lie" I said looking across the table at him.

He smiled back at me with a look of thanks. Edward took my hand again under the table.

"Rosalie deserved to be knocked down a peg, she thinks she is God's gift" Edward hissed. "Anyway, Rosalie is busying herself with the latest hot young stud, last I heard from Alice she was draped all over Chace Crawford at some party"

Jasper and Emmett both sighed "Chace" at the same time. I let out a laugh.

"Chace Crawford, now THAT is a man I could get behind" Emmett sighed.

"Or on my knees in front of" Jasper giggled.

I rolled my eyes. "Get your minds out of the gutter boys!" I squealed.

"So I stayed friends with Emmett, much to Rosalie's distaste" Edward finished.

"Let's be honest here Edward, you stayed friends with me because of Rosalie's distaste for me in general, so you stayed friends to get a rise out of her, the two of you are worse than a couple of teen girls fighting over the new boy at school" Emmett chuckled.

Dinner continued like that, four friends talking about everything and nothing at the same time. Drinks flowed. Every now and again Edward would take my hand under the table and a spark would flow through my body. Near dinner's end he reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear gently. I caught Jasper's eye and he smiled at me.

Jasper leaned over and whispered in my ear "He suits you Bella, you look radiant tonight". I blushed.

When dinner was over and we promised to do lunch again in a few days. The boys also said they wanted a day to me for themselves, which I knew was code for getting all of the details about everything having to do with Edward Cullen.

I took Jasper aside as Edward and Emmett was calling a cab. "I feel bad Jasper! I came out here to see you guys and I'm like taking up residence in some hotel room with a man I just met." I was looking down. "Are you angry with me?"

"Bella, you came out here to get away from everything in Pennsylvania, I think Edward is far better suited to helping you truly get away and forget than I am." Jasper smiled back at me. "But I want lots and lots of gory specific details you understand me! It isn't every day your best friend from college is sharing a bed with the hottest guy in Hollywood".

"It isn't like that Jasper" I said.

"The way he looks at you honey, it will be" he responded with a kiss on my cheek.

We rode to the hotel in silence, Edward just put his arms around me and pulled me close. I rested my head on his shoulder. Every now and then he would turn and place a kiss on the top of my head. I had my hand on his leg and was moving it slowly back and forth. This felt so natural to me.

When we got up to the room Edward turned to me and looked nervous.

"What?" I said, worried that I had done something wrong.

"Well" Edward said. "See, I kind of probably need to go home for a bit just to pick up some clothes and stuff. I mean going commando is fine and all, but I doubt you'd want me to sleep this way".

I raised an eyebrow, taking in the mental picture of Edward going commando under the sheets. "Well, I'm perfectly fine with commando under the sheets, but I guess it short of puts a chink in the plan to take it slow." I said smiling.

He looked at me with that grin, the one which looked all dirty and happy at the same time. I felt all tingly when he looked at me that way.

"Go, go, get some stuff. I'll wait up for you" I walked over and wrapped my arms around him, kissed him quickly on the lips and sent him out.

"I'll be back soon" he said.

I sat there unpacking the rest of my stuff that Jasper brought to me. I took off my makeup and got my pajamas on to get into bed. I felt overwhelmingly tired. I laid on the bed and turned on the TV where TMZ was having some report on the Perez exclusive and I laughed again out loud. _The chances of that report being true are exactly zero_, I thought. _If what I've seen so far is any indication, Edward Cullen is the one who should be giving lessons. _

I tried my hardest to stay awake, but I kept drifting in and out of sleep. I never heard Edward come into the room. I woke up with his arms around me and his face nuzzled into my hair after one of the best night's sleep I had experienced in over a year. I laid there feeling his body next to mine. Then I heard my name escape from Edward's lips "Bella" in a soft moan. I could tell by his breathing that he was still asleep. _Dreaming, _I thought, _about me. _I could feel him stiffening against my thigh, his breathing was quickening faster. It was so undeniably hot, knowing it was my name he was calling, me in his dreams that aroused him this way. "Oh Bella" I heard again. Then he woke with a start and quickly rolled over.

"Good morning sunshine" I said rolling towards him with a smile. "I'm sorry I fell asleep last night before you got back, I was so tired."

"Good, um, morning" he said trying to cover himself without drawing attention.

"No need to hide, you gave yourself away a few minutes ago, did you know you talk in your sleep?" I teased.

He put the pillow over his face and groaned. "I swear I don't think I could get any more embarrassed in front of you" he said into the pillow. "First I cry like a baby, then I'm emasculated on the blogs of every fangirl out there, I have the worlds most pathetic phone, and now I'm saying who knows what to you in my sleep."

I grabbed the pillow off of his face and put my face inches from his "There is no reason for embarrassment Edward. I love every second of it. It is nice to see sometimes you aren't entirely perfect and good at everything you do" I kissed his nose lightly with my lips and went to get out of bed. I turned back to him with a devilish smile "Besides, I'd bet my life savings that Perez's little report is dead wrong".

He smiled at me and grabbed me by the waist, pulling my body closer to his. "In due time love" Edward said kissing my neck. "and I am FAR from perfect".

"Well lets get breakfast, we have the phone store to hit this morning" I said.

"Bella Swan, I do not need a new phone!" he demanded.

"Edward Cullen, if you intend to correspond with me long distance across the country, you most certainly need multimedia capabilities." I smiled. _How am I going to find the strength to go home_, I thought.

I had decided not to dwell on that. I had decided not to dwell on anything. I just wanted live in the now for the next 12 days and then I'd deal with the aftermath.

"Let's get dressed" I said to him.

**EPOV**

When I came back to the hotel last night she was sleeping. I remember just sitting there next to the bed watching her sleep. The peaceful look on her face. A smile would flicker on her lips every now and again. I sat there for hours just watching her until the tiredness overcame me and I crawled in next to her, taking her in my arms and let myself sleep.

I was having the sexiest dream about her. In that green dress from the night before. The way her hair fell across her face. The way those shoes made her legs look. I wanted her so badly. Then I felt something shift beside me and I realized that I yes, I was dreaming, no, I was not alone and I was currently uncomfortably rock hard digging into her hip. I rolled over quickly.

More teasing ensued. Honestly, I feel like a woman these past two days. I need to man up for goodness sakes. This girl has my head spinning.

Bella started in on my phone again. _ More teasing, just great, _I thought.

"Edward Cullen, if you intend to correspond with me long distance across the country, you most certainly need multimedia capabilities." she said. My heart fell. _Long distance, _those words echoed in my head painfully.

_You can't let it ruin the time we have left, _I told myself.

We got ready, got some room service and she dragged me to AT&T to get a new phone. I put on my cap and sunglasses. She told me to leave it up to her.

We entered the store and it was fairly busy. _Great, the more people to go crazy if they find out_, I thought. Bella scanned the room for the associates. Passing over all of the men from what I can see. She narrowed in on this perky blond girl in the corner and said "Bingo, she is the ticket" and dragged me over there.

"Jessica Stanley" Bella said reading her name tag. Before I could react, Bella reached up and took off my hat and then glasses. Before the glasses came off I could see the look of recognition on Jessica's face. The look that told me I was going to hear screaming in about 2 minutes time. _Stupid hair, I'm going to shave it all off_, I thought.

"Do you know who this is Jessica?" Bella demanded. She was loving every moment of this. I could see it on her face.

"Umm, of course I know who this is" beamed Jessica. Her exuberance was bubbling out of her skin.

"Do you think it is at all acceptable to have sexy Edward Cullen being seen in public talking on this 2002 throwback of a very unsexy phone?" Bella asked pointedly holding up my phone.

Jessica took the phone, you could tell by the way her hands glided over it that she was savoring every moment. In the corner of my eye I saw a girl staring at me, I heard a gasp and then saw her fumbling for her phone. _It is starting_, I thought.

"Bella, I think this is a bad idea, I think we need to get out of here, NOW" I said demanding.

"Oh if you want some privacy, we can go to the back room, no one will bother you there while I get you set up with a new phone" Jessica said and turned and bounced to the door, beckoning for us to follow her.

I grabbed Bella and pulled her in "You have no idea what you just unleashed here" I growled.

She turned back to me and said "Relax Edward, we'll be done in a minute, you being seen was part of my plan" and pulled me towards the back room.

I think within 2 minutes every female employee and some men were hovering around the manager's office. Bella just had no idea how this was going to end.

I could hear Bella talking with Jessica in the corner. I have to admit seeing her take charge like this was completely sexy. It was a side of her I hadn't seen. I probably let this whole thing play out simply because I wanted to see my Bella ordering this poor girl around because it turned me on.

"I tell you what, you get us the top of the line iPhone and I'll be sure that Edward is photographed with it today, the blogs will light up with headlines 'Edward Cullen has the hot new iPhone' fangirls everywhere will line up to get one". Bella said.

Jessica looked defeated. "Well, see, the thing is, we don't have them in stock right now, they are really hot" she looked down.

"Nonsense" a voice boomed behind me. What I assume was the manager walked over to me and held out his hand "Nice to meet you Mr. Cullen, we'll get you all taken care of" he said. I could see on his face that Bella knew exactly the right button to push to get me out the door with this phone.

"Deal with her" I said pointed towards Bella "I'm just here for the ride".

Thirty minutes later I had the phone all hooked up. I had to admit, I was excited about it. I never generally had to get the newest toy or gadget because I felt I had to keep it real or something. This phone was awesome.

"Now" Bella said "part two which is you being photographed on said sexy iPhone leaving the store".

I peered out the window, there was probably 50 teen girls standing at the ready with their camera phones waiting for me to come out. Some older women were standing near the back pretending not to be waiting for me, some of them were worse than the damn teen girls.

I groaned. "Bella, you don't know what this gets like, if I had known you were going to do this, I'd have brought a bodyguard with me"

"You have a bodyguard?' She said worried. "Wow, umm, of course you do right?" She said biting her fingers. "Oh dear, do you think someone will hurt you? Should you call them?"

I sighed "Damn I wish I had my car!" I swore.

Bella sat there thinking intently and turned to the manager and said "please call a cab, tell them who it is for and that they will be photographed with him getting into it, tell them to wait at the side entrance by the store, call when they get here."

"Now" she turned to me "I want you to listen to me. I'm going to stay back here, I'll meet you at the hotel as soon as you leave."

"Absolutely not" I growled.

"Edward, listen to me" she pleaded. "If I am with you and someone pushes me or shoves me, you'll get angry and react, it is better this way. No one even knows who I am!"

She was right, I knew she was. I didn't want her to see me like this. Hollywood It Boy. With her I didn't have to be him. Then I heard the phone rang and they told me the cab had arrived. I took a deep breath, turned to Bella and put my hand on her cheek. "Showtime" I said with a groan.

I felt that nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach again, I tried to focus on something to take my mind off of what was to come. I palmed the new phone and stepped out of the room pretending I was talking to someone. The screams that erupted immediately were deafening. "Edward, Edward, can you sign my book! Edward, I love you! Robert, marry me!" I mentally rolled my eyes. Sometimes these fans had difficulty separating me from him.

I held up my hand to give a half wave and a smile and I tried to exit the store. The manager and several employees were at my side now and asking people to move so I could get out. Flashes going off in my face, screaming in my ear. My vision was starting to tunnel from the panic I felt in my chest. _Breathe Edward, just breathe, _I thought. I closed my eyes for a minute, took a deep breathe and the tightness in my chest started to abate. As I pushed my way out of the store I turned and caught a glimpse of Bella who was standing there looking awestruck at the way the scene played out. She mouthed "I'm sorry" to me. I smiled at her. More screams and I saw the cab and pushed my way into it and told him to take off.

The paparazzi were following the cab of course. _We were in the store too long and someone tipped them off_, I thought_._ I told the driver to drop me off at a different hotel that I've used before to escape them, they know me well and accommodate slipping me out through the kitchen. I got out of the cab blinded by the flashes of the cameras, hearing them shout question after question. I just smiled and waved. I went to the front desk and immediately they said "you know the way Mr. Cullen". I was being chased again and the elevator man stopped them at the door telling them they were not allowed onto the guest room floors. My relationship with the hotel was mutually beneficial, they got the impression in the press that I was staying there and I got a way out.

I got off the elevator on the dining floor and slipped through the kitchen out the back stairs. I put on my hat and glasses and grabbed another cab to go back to the hotel. Counting the minutes until I saw her again.

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a/n: Bella was a bit clueless about what it really means to be a star, which is why she had no idea what she unleashed in the store. This may have been sort of a break from the flow, but will be important in the way I have the story mapped out in my head. Please leave reviews!


	14. Chapter 14

**a/n: Thanks to everyone who has read this story!**

**The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, I'm just borrowing them in my happy fantasy land.**

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**BPOV**

I felt sick to my stomach when I saw him leave the back room. _What have you done Bella, _I screamed inside of my head.

Watching all of those people swarming him, screaming at him, grabbing at him. That had to take its toll every time he tried to go out in public. He turned and caught my eye as he left the store. "I'm sorry" I whispered to him. My guilt was so overwhelming. _ How could I do this to him?_ I thought. I just had no idea what he goes though.

I saw him get into the cab and drive away, cars even seemed to be in pursuit of him! As I walked through the crowd of people I overheard their voices all gleeful.

"Did you see his hair! Oh My GOD! I want to squeeze him all over!"

"I think he looked at me, I thought for a minute he was going to ask me for my number!"

"He is so unbelievably hot!"

"I should have asked him to bite me!"

_Sweet Jesus_, I thought. So this is what he deals with anytime he goes out. No wonder he felt so alone.

I hurried to find a cab and make my way back to him at the hotel. I was sick with worry that he would be hurt in the pursuit or that he would be angry with me. I just had no idea that this would happen.

I ran through the lobby to the elevator. I couldn't get the key card out fast enough to get into the suite. I ran through the door to find him doing a shot at the bar in the main room turning on the TV.

"Edward! I'm so so sorry! I just had NO idea. Please forgive me!" I begged.

Edward turned, "I warned you Bella." His face got more intent and somber. "My world is so much different than anything you are used to. I'm sorry you had to see that today. But there is nothing to forgive love, you had no idea what was coming".

"But at the restaurant last night, no one even bothered you?" I said back.

"That was because Jasper knows where to go to not be bothered in this town, I can't just go to any restaurant, they have to be sort of high profile friendly" he responded.

His hands were shaking a bit still. I could tell he was coming down from an adrenaline rush of all those people crowding in on him. I just can't imagine how that must feel to have that many people just rushing at you, screaming at you.

"How do you deal with that all of the time?" I asked him sitting down on the couch.

"I had no idea taking that role would cause that type of reaction at all. Honestly I didn't know much of anything about the books when I took the role. At first it was unnerving, but cool. I mean after all you don't become an actor unless you like the limelight. I guess after months and months of it I just started to break down and just shut myself down when I did it. Never being able to go to any place normal without that happening. So that is why all of the actors and such sort of band together. At least if I'm at some fancy restaurant surrounded by other celebrities, no one cares that Edward Cullen is in the restaurant. They certainly aren't going to come up with a camera phone and scream bite me" Edward explained.

"Were there other celebs at the restaurant last night?" I asked.

"Celebs, movie execs, powerful business men, athletes, the restaurant was crawling with famous people" he laughed.

"I never noticed one of them, I only had eyes for you I guess" I said with a smile.

He smiled back at me and took his hand and caressed my cheek, stroking my face with his thumb. "When I am on a shoot, it is a little easier in a way, because we aren't here in LA for one, and also because the cast and crew sort of become a family. I think I felt the most alive when I am shooting" he continued. "I just finished shooting the second book, so about a month or two before the release, I'll be flying everywhere, it will be press junkets, interviews and award shows again" he rolled his eyes. "It will be like the worst it gets for me, I'm dreading it".

"Fucking Robert Pattinson" he laughed. "The best and worst thing that every happened to me".

I bit my lip and looked away.

He caught my reaction and said "what is it?"

"Nothing, nothing" I tried to figure out some lie to tell.

"Bella, you have to tell me what you are thinking" he said intrigued.

"Well, I guess I never told you this, but I'm a HUGE Moonlight fan. I've read all of the books three times. I've seen the movie" I paused briefly "at least 10 times".

A huge laugh erupted from him. The kind of laugh that had him throw his head back and came from deep inside of him. I loved seeing him laugh like that. "Seriously?" he said.

"Yes! I'm not dead you know! Just because I didn't ask you to bite me doesn't mean that I don't know who you are or drooled over you on screen! I knew who you were when I saw Jasper drag you over of course! You don't think I haven't discussed your hair or your eyes before with my girlfriends in private messages with my girlfriends, or sent links of you ooohing and aaahing over your smile or your outfit or whatever?" I continued, blushing wilder with every word.

"Really" he said, raising an eyebrow and smiling his naughty smile. "Why then did you react differently when I saw you, like you never showed me any indication you even cared who I was, I figured you weren't much of a movie person. I mean sure you knew I was some famous Hollywood It Boy, but the way you reacted I figured you either hated the movie or were above that stuff".

I thought about that. I remember the feeling of dread when he was being dragged over, but I also remember how alone I felt that night and how almost happy I was somewhere down deep to have someone to talk to. "I was so lonely that night" I started. "When Jazz brought you over, I originally wanted to like run, but then Jasper caught me off guard with his whole _Edward, meet my failed attempt at heterosexuality_ ice breaker and you said down and I just didn't want to like freak out because then I thought you might just run away. Well, that and when I shook your hand like some embarrassing freak, I swore I felt something pass between us. So I was on my best behavior to try to keep you there talking to me".

Edward's smile widened "You felt that too huh?" he said. I grew warm at the thought of it.

"I guess I should also confess to having seen Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire at least 20 times – bring my body back Harry" I pretended to wipe my fake tears away.

He laughed again. "I learn something new about you every day Bella".

We spent the next few days and nights pretty much talking about everything. Amazingly we never seemed to have trouble finding new things to talk about. It all came so easily to us. Well that is when we weren't either kissing or sleeping. Every time we started to get going with the kissing and I was hoping it would finally lead to more, he always pulled away from me. It was getting old and quickly. I had to really figure out a way to pull out all of the stops to get past his wall. I understood it, of course, it was for me, to be special, and in some throwback gentlemanly sort of way I thought it was adorable, but that doesn't mean I had to like it! Edward was special, I didn't need to wait anymore to know that. I may need to recruit Jasper or Emmett to help me break his resolve. I don't think it could be possible for me to want him any more.

We talked about my friends and family at home. We even talked a bit about James, which I often tried to avoid because of the lump in my throat I felt. It felt weird to me opening up to him about James. Edward talked about his childhood more, his sisters. He told me that Alice and I would probably be best friends and would love for me to meet her. He talked about his upcoming projects. We even discussed my inevitable departure next week.

"I don't know how long I can go without seeing you" he said head down hands fumbling through his hair.

"Well, I have to go back to work" she sighed. "I don't have much more leave to take off".

"You could just stay" he said impulsively. "Stay here, with me". He looked away from me, biting his lower lip. I didn't realize that this was so difficult for him, I had assumed the difficulty was mainly mine.

I went over to Edward and took his face in my hands. "As wonderful as that sounds Edward, and believe me, it does sound like heaven, I can't do that right now. I have family there. I have friends there. They would think I fell off my rocker if I left like that. I have a responsibility to them all. They have been there for me, I can't just leave" I said.

"I know, I know" he whispered.

"We just have to make it work, plan flights out back and forth. Why don't you come to Washington, DC soon and I'll drive down and we can spend the weekend?" I asked hopefully.

"I can't come the weekend after you leave, I'm going to be in the studio recording songs for the soundtrack all weekend" Edward said.

"It doesn't work for me either, I have a party to attend" I said.

"Weekend after that then?" he smiled.

"Sounds good to me!" I exclaimed.

"I'll make the arrangements when I get on my computer later when you are with Jasper and Emmett today. I have a bunch of things to do today anyway, it was good timing they called to meet up with you, I'll just swing by my apartment when I'm out, I need to get my car anyway." Edward said.

I warmed at the thought of being in Edward's apartment. Wondering what kind of things he had, what he surrounded himself with. I just didn't know what to expect. Based on how he dressed, I assumed it would be sort of eclectic. Lots of black leather and funky art on the walls. I'm quite certain some sort of sexy bedding of sorts. Based on the fact he had to clean it up for me, I'm assuming it was a true bachelor pad and not the apartment MTV cribs were made out of.

"So when am I going to get to see this mysterious Bat Cave?" I asked.

"I was thinking the day before you leave, we can spend your last day and night there." he said. "Although tomorrow I'd like to take you to one of my favorite places to go to relax and unwind".

I felt all giddy to see more about what he liked to do. "Are you going to tell me where we are going?" I asked.

"Of course not! Good things come to those who wait" he smiled slyly.

"I certainly hope so" I said with a silly grin on my face, with my mind not thinking about where we were going tomorrow as much as the growing frustration my body was feeling from wanting him so badly and not being allowed to have him. I saw the clock on the wall and realized I was already late. "Shit! I am late, I am sure Jasper and Emmett have the inquisition all lined up for me! I'll see you tonight then at some point?"

He kissed me softly on the lips. "I'll see you here later then". He turned to walk away and then turned back, grabbed me tight by the waist and crushed his lips hard against mine, tasting every inch of my mouth as if to remember every bit of it. He smiled his sexy half grin and then he left leaving me swooning and speechless.

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a/n: this is another sort of bridge chapter to get me where I needed to be for the next part of the story. OF COURSE Bella is a fangirl! Bella is a woman with a pulse, of course she discussed the hot Hollywood stud with her girlfriends, don't we all? ;)

a/n pt 2: REVIEWS MAKE ME HAPPY!


	15. Chapter 15

**a/n: Thanks to everyone who has read this story!**

**The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, I'm just borrowing them in my happy fantasy land.**

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**EPOV**

I hurried back to my apartment to get there before the cleaning crew arrived. There was no way I was capable of getting this place cleaned up and Bella ready before next Friday without some help.

My assistant, Charlotte, was waiting at the door for me. "Hey Charlotte", I said. "Thanks for helping me out with this".

"No problem Edward" she said. "I got all of the things you asked for in regards to food, beverages and candles, the cleaning people will be here shortly, they are very highly recommended".

"How is Peter doing? Are the wedding plans coming together?" I said, attempting to make small talk.

Suddenly she came alive with wedding talk. After a while I just tuned her out. _Mental note: never ask Charlotte about wedding plans again, _I thought.

The cleaning crew arrived and they started transforming the place that was littered with books, CDs, sheet music, dirty dishes and dirty clothes into a home again.

_Bloody hell what a disgusting pig you are_, I thought as I surveyed the transformation. I wanted it to look presentable for my Bella. For our last day together.

This week had been like a dream. We never left the hotel after the phone incident. We just spent hours talking, ordering room service, calling down to the front desk asking for whatever. It seemed to move in slow motion and fast forward all at the same time. I was looking forward to taking her to my spot tomorrow, I hoped she would like it.

I honestly don't know how I've been able to hold myself back like this with her. Every time she touches me, I want to throw her down on the bed and have my way with her. I just don't want to rush her. My hands were getting sore from sneaking in alone time in the shower. I just didn't want to push her too fast and have her regret it. I could wait for her. Well I hope I could wait for her. It was getting harder every day.

I saw my laptop on top of my bed when I walked into the room and remembered I had a trip to book. I started searching for flights. "Are you flying somewhere, Edward" I heard Charlotte ask as I pull up the site. "I can book it for you if you like"

"No, thanks, I'm good. It is kind of , umm, private" I said. Charlotte turned with a smirk. She wasn't a fool. She had to know that I was planning on entertaining a woman here. Why else for all of the fanfare? Sure maybe she could expect my parents in town again, but I certainly wouldn't be cooking or lighting candles for them.

I found a first class seat to DC early on that Friday morning 3 weeks from now. I felt excited as I paid for the trip. I knew when I was going to see her again. I started searching through the area hotels trying to figure out one that would be discreet about my staying there. The last thing I wanted or needed was to be recognized in the hotel. I picked one that had plenty of suites and called pretending to be my own assistant again. They seemed excited to accommodate me. I asked for a list of things to be in the room that I thought Bella would like and then went back to the computer.

"Well I think that is everything you asked for Edward, is there anything else you need?" Charlotte asked.

"No, I think that is good, thanks again for everything, I know this was sort of last minute and you probably had plans today or something" I replied.

"No problem, you've been so quiet lately that I figured it must be important, now I guess I understand WHY you have been so quiet" she said with a smile.

"Have a good weekend, tell Peter I said hello" I said smiling back. I wasn't in the mood for sharing this with Charlotte.

I kept thinking of Bella in my mind, wondering what other things I didn't know about her. I went to Google and typed in "Isabella Swan". I looked through a few entries before I found something regarding her. Some papers she had published through work. Then I typed in "Bella Swan" and I saw a facebook entry. Facebook. I know my publicist often talks about things on there she sees about me or has planted about me. Bella had a page. I had to find her.

I signed up using a fake name of course and I went looking for her. I saw her name and next to it, her avatar. In it her and some man are smiling arms around each other. _James,_ I thought with a stab of envy. I tried not to think about him much. She never really talked about him outside of when I asked. There they were, in love, happy. I wondered how I could ever measure up to that.

I clicked "add as friend", Bella would probably laugh at Robert Diggory befriending her. I guess I had to wait until she accepted me before I could see her page or something. I decided to put in Alice's name and she came right up. There she was with her black crazy hair smiling widely at the screen. I missed Alice. I added her as a friend as well knowing that no explanation of Robert Diggory was needed.

I was looking over Alice's friend list and I found Rosalie easily. Her screen names were almost as transparent as mine were. Although there is something to be said about hiding in plain sight. As much of a pain in the ass Rosalie could be, she was my sister and I knew if I didn't add her, she'd throw a fit over it. It wasn't worth the earful I'd get from Alice or my parents. Emmett and Jasper also had pages so I added them too sending explanations as to who in the hell Robert Diggory really was.

Then my phone starts going off. I see the picture I had taken of her on my phone, just of her eye and a bit of her hair falling down come up on the screen. She insisted this be her picture to come up when she called. Well, actually she made it her picture, I haven't the slightest idea how she even did it. "Bella" I said with a smile.

"Since when do you have a facebook page Robert?" she laughed.

"Since about 5 minutes ago Bella, how in the hell did you know that?" I said.

"Hello, technology is my friend! I'll set your phone up to get access too. I added you! Jazz and Emmett just did too." she said. "Anyway, I saw that request and I felt compelled to hear your voice, we'll be done in in a few hours, I'll see you at the hotel?"

"Looking forward to it" I said.

I grab up the computer again and I go back to my page and see her there. I click on her name. I see all of her friends wishing her a good trip. I check her status message "Bella is having the time of her life in LA" it said. It was updated today. My heart jumped a bit in my chest. I clicked on her photos. There was a category of friends and I'm searching through all of her friend pictures. I see a few of Jasper and Emmett. Then at the very end I see one of me. It was the same sort of art photo I took of her for my phone. I had my hands over my head and I was looking up from the pillow so you could only see my eyes. It said "my newest LA buddy, Robert Diggory" under it. I laughed. A few of her friends threw out smart ass comments teasing her about pillow talking with Robert in LA and no wonder they hadn't heard from her. I think I'd like her friends.

Then I saw the album called James. I clicked on it. I felt sort of guilty doing so, like I was invading her private space. I couldn't help myself though, I wanted to know everything there was to know about Bella Swan and honestly I wanted to know more about James as well. I looked through the tons of photos she had on there. Their wedding. Their trips together. The last one on there was of her, kneeling on a boat, dumping something overboard into the water. I can only assume it was his ashes. This one had over a hundred comments on it, all talking about what a wonderful man he was, how much they loved her, how much they would miss him. Bella appeared to be very loved. She was crying in the photo, her hair blowing in the wind. I assume her parents, Charlie and Renee, were on either side of her, holding onto her shoulders. She looked as lost as she did that moment I met her. _Could she ever love me like she loved him?, _I wondered.

My phone rang again and I see Alice's number pop up. I answered it. "Since when do YOU have a facebook page Edward?" she chimed.

"Hello to you too Alice!" I said happy to hear my sisters voice.

"So, tell me who exactly is Bella Swan dear brother? I've never heard of her before" she asked.

"Alice, I don't have a lot of time to talk right now, but I promise, very soon, I'll call you and tell you everything" I asked her.

"Give me a condensed version and then maybe I'll wait" Alice teased.

"I met her a week ago Alice. She is completely different from anyone I've ever met. I've been spending basically every moment with her since she got here, but she goes back home to Pennsylvania next Friday" I said sort of surprised at how forthcoming I was being with my sister.

"Wow Edward, I've never heard you talk like this about someone before. I can't wait to hear more about her!" she replied.

"Tell mom and dad I said hello and I'll call them soon as well" I asked.

"Oh and don't forget to tell me exactly who you pissed off to get such raving press on Perez. Oh! How do you like the new iPhone?" she said.

I had to laugh, only Alice would be trolling the Internet daily to dig up information on me. I think Alice may know even more about me via the Internet than the people I pay to know. "I promise, I'll answer everything soon little sister, take care"

I pulled up one of my favorite pictures of Bella on the screen and then I started thinking about this tune that was in my head this entire week that I had been around her. I walked into the next room over to the piano and I started playing it, writing down the notes as they came to me. The music seemed to come to me so easily, just like she fit into my life so easily.

I didn't realize how long I was sitting there playing this song, the music sort of locked me into a trance, several hours past and I realized that Bella was probably waiting for me by now.

I grabbed my keys, surveyed the apartment one last time and headed out to see my Bella.

**BPOV**

I got into Jasper's car and they both turned to look at me "Spill!" they both said.

"I, I, I've had a great week. Edward is great. I mean we just have hung out the whole time, barely leaving the hotel room" I stammered.

"Barely leaving his bed" Jasper snickered.

"No, its not like that Jasper, we are taking it slow" I shot back.

"Honey, you are with the most beautiful man on the freaking planet and you are taking it slow? Have I taught you NOTHING?" Jasper said mouth agape.

"Jasper, I think it is sweet" Emmett said.

"Of course you would think it was sweet you big teddy bear" Jasper said.

"Honestly I'd probably like to take it further, but he is holding back, he is worried I'll regret it, you know, because of James" I said with my voice trailing off at the end.

"Do you think you would regret it?" Jasper said seriously now. "Because you know maybe Edward is right, you should wait".

"See that is the thing guys" I started "when I'm with Edward, I barely even think about James outside of a few fleeting thoughts. I feel more guilty about that than being with Edward at all".

I looked down again with tears starting to form in my eyes. "Do you guys thing it is wrong of me, to do to James, that is, to move on, to betray our promise to each other?"

Emmett sighed and reached his hand back to take mine. Jasper let out a big breath. "Bella, honey, you promised until DEATH do you part, you aren't betraying your promise. I knew James, I know he wouldn't want you to be alone and suffering forever. Part of you died with him. When I saw you at the airport last week you looked the same as you did that day on the boat. Lost. Then you met Edward and you started laughing again, smiling. You have found some of yourself again. I can't tell you how hopeful that makes me for you"

I knew he was right. Edward had filled up a part of me that had been so empty.

"James wanted you happy more than anything Bella. James would want you to move on, to be happy, to LIVE. I know it can't be easy, but don't feel like you are betraying James by loving again. You would be betraying him by not loving and turning inward for the rest of your life". Jasper finished.

"Thanks Jasper" I said wiping tears away from my eyes.

Emmett took his hand from mine and squeezed Jaspers shoulder.

"Listen, I'm not a total bastard all of the time Emmett, I have my moments" Jasper scoffed.

"I know you are not, that is why I love you" said Emmett beaming.

We hung out a bit and then went to dinner and laughed the whole time. They told me stories about Edward when he first started to rise to fame and how completely unprepared he was for some of the things girls did to find their way into his bed.

I went to check my email to see if a work request had come through and I saw a friend request staring at me from Robert Diggory. I didn't even need to read the message to know it was him. I laughed to myself. "Edward has a facebook page guys!" They both dove for their phones to see if he had added them as well and I called Edward just to hear the sound of his voice again.

After I talked to Edward, I decided I needed some shopping help. I wanted a new dress for our last night together, it seemed that Edward was planning something special and I wanted to be ready for it. Plus I wanted something hot and sexy in hopes it may break some of that iron will of his. Who better to help me with hot and sexy than Jasper and Emmett?

They didn't disappoint me helping me shop. They knew of a perfect boutique and as soon as they saw me in the dress they knew it was the one. I had to admit it did look good. Immediately Jasper knew of exactly the right boots to make the dress even hotter. The dress cost a small fortune and the boots even more, but they both assured me that it was going to make Edward lose his shit when he looked at me in it. One more week of all of this PG rated kissing and I would hope that he'd be dying for it as much as I was.

When I got back to the room with the hot dress and boots in my bag, he was there waiting.

He came over and took me in his arms, kissing me on my head. "What did you guys do today?" he asked. I flushed a bit, thinking of how I had specifically selected these items in my hand with the sole purpose of turning him on.

"We went out to lunch and then went to do some shopping, I got a new outfit for our last night at your place, I feel like all of my clothes are so boring" I said.

"Nothing about you, Bella Swan is boring" Edward replied with his devilish smile. _Hold onto that smile Edward, you're going to need it after what I have planned for you._

We went to bed late again since we were up talking all night and then ordered breakfast. I could barely eat I was so excited. We had gotten into a bad habit of staying up late and waking up around 11 am, so it wasn't going to be too much longer before our date began. I was giddy with anticipation over what the day had in store for us.

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a/n: thanks for reading!


	16. Chapter 16

**a/n: Thanks to everyone who has read this story! Also thanks to those who have left reviews. Honestly this has been such a unique experience for me and I appreciate anyone who is sharing it with me.  
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**The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, I'm just borrowing them in my happy fantasy land.**

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**EPOV**

I was looking forward to taking Bella to my unwind spot. I made sure she wore the right stuff for the day, we got ready and then I called down to the front desk for them to bring around my car. I grabbed the backpack I had brought and filled it up with plenty of water and food items for when we were there. We started making our way out the front door of the hotel.

"My car is out front" I said. She stopped in her tracks as I opened the door to the hotel.

"A Volvo, you drive, a Volvo, seriously!" she laughed.

"Listen, I don't like to stand out too much in case you hadn't noticed. This car has everything I want in it, but doesn't stand out. It is perfect" I chided her. "Now get in!"

This place was about 25 miles north of Santa Monica, so it was going to take a bit to get there. She seemed almost giddy and it was like I drafted off her emotions, feeling giddy myself. Everything was just so easy with Bella, I never seemed to worry about everything I did around her, for fear of what she would think, she was the one person I could be myself with. The only person that could tune out the world around me, making none of it matter.

We pulled up to the parking lot for Point Dume, it was just a short hike, but it had some beautiful coves and tide pools to drink in. It was so peaceful to me. Most people on the trails were just paying attention to the scenery, so with my glasses and hat on, I was never noticed. I would come here and sit for hours. A lot of my music came to me sitting here just taking in the sound of the water, the smell of nature all around. I used to also watch with a stab of envy all of the couples holding hands, so obviously in love, so carefree, only having eyes for each other.

"This is beautiful" she said. "The beaches just aren't like this on the East Coast".

I smiled, glad she liked it. There were not a lot of people here today, which made it even better. We hiked down to the cove and I brought out a blanket for us to sit on and some of the food I had packed.

She rested back into my arms and we just listened the sound of the water and watched as the people went by in silence.

"I can see why you like this place, it is very serene, everything just feels _calmer_ here" she said.

"I've always come here to sort of get my mind off things, I've never told anyone about this place, but it felt fitting that I bring you here" I said. _This day couldn't be any more perfect, _I thought.

Just then I remembered the pictures of her on the beach on her facebook album. I felt guilty not having told her that I had looked through everything on her page.

"I took the liberty of looking through your pictures on facebook" I said, "I hope you don't mind".

"Why would I mind?" she said with a smile.

"You and James looked very happy together" I said feeling her tense underneath me.

"Oh, umm, yes, we were happy for the most part. I mean like every relationship, you have ups and downs, but we were more happy than we were not" Bella responded.

I could tell this was making her tense, but I just wanted to know more about them, maybe I was a glutton for punishment, knowing more about the man I could never live up to, maybe I just felt I needed to know everything about her, including him.

"How long were you married?" I asked.

"Three years" Bella responded. "We met when I was 17, were engaged at 19, married at 20, young I know, but we were crazy and in love, so we didn't want to wait. We were both still in college when we got married." She was fidgeting with her sleeves so I could tell she was not enjoying the topic of conversation, yet I kept on.

"Did you ever consider having children?" I asked.

Bella tensed again and then turned to face me, not taking my eyes in hers, just sort of looking through me. "We tried, for about 10 months. It was a very stressful time in our relationship, easily the most we ever fought and the most unhappy we had ever been together. I mean not at first, of course, because you are just having at it like rabbits every other day" she said. The thought of her having at it like rabbits with anyone other than me made me feel a bit sick to my stomach and made me wish I had never asked such a question.

"But then after a few months when it wasn't happening, it starts to feel like a chore, like you are only doing it for a baby and not to connect or feel or be with each other. I was feeling like a total failure for not being able to get pregnant. I just was consumed by feeling like a failure and I think he was irritated that there was little passion left in the marriage. The doctors all assured us it was normal and after a year we were going to get testing done, but we never got to that point". She looked down, swallowing hard, swallowing back the pain.

"Tell me about the accident" I said, guessing that is what stopped them from getting to that point.

She looked far off into the distance. "James really enjoyed to go fishing, so one weekend our neighbor, Billy Black, who really was like a second father to James, invited him to go down to Maryland to fish in the Chesapeake Bay. They had a great trip, and were catching lots of fish, so they came home late. On the way back up the interstate someone lost control and caused a massive pile up. Unfortunately for James it was fatal. They told me he died almost immediately due to a massive head trauma. He likely felt no pain. He was dead before the paramedics arrived on scene. Billy suffered complete lower paralysis and is in a wheel chair now" Bella responded. "The whole thing was just surreal you know, having a police officer actually come to your door in the middle of the night after they identified him? The entire thing has replayed in my mind so many times and I still can't remember all of what they said to me."

"James loved the bay so much" she continued "that we cremated him and scattered his ashes there".

She had tears in her eyes and she looked across the water.

"I spent much of the past 14 months just sort of in a fog. I mean it was like so many times I forgot he was dead. One day I picked up the phone and dialed his before I realized he was gone. Another I almost got angry that he wasn't home yet. Each time a part of me died again remembering". She continued. "The worst part really was all of the stress of the accident and his death caused me to be late, so every day I was taking tests hoping I had some part of him left, every day they were negative. I even had blood tests run, negative. It was torture, every day dying a little bit more".

I pulled her into my arms again, feeling the need to protect her from her pain, I kissed her on her forehead "I am so sorry any of this ever happened to you" I said.

She rubbed my arms. "I am glad you asked, I am glad you know. James is a part of me, he always will be and it is important I guess you know that, know about him."

"I know Bella" I said.

"If I'm being honest, I've been feeling a lot of guilt about us, worried that I was betraying James by feeling the way I do about you" she responded.

_Feeling the way I do about you_, I thought. That sounded like music to me.

"I am sure it is normal to feel guilt like that, that is why I didn't want to rush things, I don't want to push you into feeling something you aren't ready to feel" I continued.

"That is the thing Edward, I've thought a lot about this this week, when I showed up in LA, it was because I needed to get away from my house I shared with him, everyone I know who still treats me so delicately because of him. Pretending that I'm not dead inside all of the time to everyone who knows me. I wanted to just forget about it. Jasper was shocked when I asked him if I could come stay, and for so long. I just needed to get away. I never thought I'd be ready to feel anything again, but I had to try to maybe even just feel something and that couldn't happen at home. I think I came here because I knew it was time to be ready to live again. Actually I know I did. For the first time in fourteen months I took off my wedding rings before I got on the plane. I never expected to meet anyone here, that was the last thing on my mind, but it was like a big step in my life to come here, to take them off. I think fate had a hand in all of this, in my deciding it was time to try and then immediately I meet you. Almost like it pulled me here knowing I would find you. I think, this time, being with you, I've decided to stop dying and start living" she said.

My whole body warmed up at what she just said and I held her tighter in my arms. I remember how alone I felt that night I met her, sitting in the corner, doing shot after shot. I remember every night prior to that was sort of a fog drowned in alcohol, meaningless women and even drugs because it help numb the part of me that ached for someone to share my life with. There was no part of me that was numb right here, right now. "I have never felt so alive Bella" I replied with a kiss.

**BPOV **

I felt as if a burden was being lifted from me talking about James finally. My guilt. I needed to talk about this with Edward. To get the big pink elephant in the room that was James out in the open.

"If I'm being honest, sometimes when I am with you? I forget James ever existed. I think that makes me feel the worst of all." I said.

Edward just sat there in silence, knowing there was probably nothing he could say to make me deal with that guilt, knowing it was something I just had to get past on my own. I took in all of the sights and sounds around me, this place really was peaceful. I had no idea how long we had been sitting there, but it felt like minutes and days all at the same time.

"Are you worried about how your friends and family will react when they find out about me. I mean I guess if they find out about me?" he said softly.

"IF? As if I could keep it from them!" I said laughing. "They will probably know the minute they lay eyes on me that something has changed. Jasper has gone on and on about how much I've seemed to change just in a week. I mean I think my parents and my friends will be relieved, I think they have been out of their mind with worry. I do worry about how James' family will react, or his friends. The weekend after I get home I am going to a party at James' brother Eric's house. I know Angela, my sister in law, will know immediately. She is probably my best friend in the world. I just think they will take some adjusting. Especially since..." I stopped. _Especially since you are like on the front page of every blog and magazine and are way out of my league, _I continued in my mind.

"Especially since, what?" he asked while turning me to face him.

"Nothing" I said trying to look away again, swallowing my self doubt.

He took my face in his hands to hold my gaze. "Bella, this is nothing you can't tell me, I want to know what you are thinking" Edward asked imploringly.

"I just worry that they will think you are just way out of my league or my world and so will never understand." I said trying to look away again.

"Bella, in no way could I ever be out of your league, it is me who is the one who is out of yours. Being out of your world, that will be their main concern and not for the reasons you think" Edward continued. "This is MY main guilt and concern over our relationship, putting you in my world. The fakeness, the pressure, the screaming, the traveling for shoots, the fake reports planted about me. I worry about this almost every day. I'm being extremely selfish here with you, I just can't walk away from you, but I should."

"Why would you say that Edward, I want YOU, I don't care about that stuff" I replied.

"You say that now Bella, you just don't understand, once anyone gets wind of _us_ they will likely go to great lengths to know everything about you. They will start following you. People will come out of the woodwork to lie about you to get a front page exclusive. I just don't know how I can do that to you and here I sit every day, getting closer to you. I do that because of the way you make me feel, because I need you in my life more than I need anything. Doing this to you makes me a selfish bastard and your friends and family will know this." he replied. "They will see what you can not". He was upset now, running his hands through his hair, biting his lip. I could see the pain written on his face. I had no idea he felt this way.

"Edward, don't you get it? I can't stay away from you either. I don't WANT to stay away from you. You are right, I have no idea what it is going to be like once we go _public_, but WE will figure it out together. That has to be easier than dealing with it alone right?" I responded. "For me the thought of not having you in my life at all is so much worse than anything that could be written about me or people tracking me down or whatever."

"You say that now Bella. I have a feeling one day that will change, but until then I am going to just enjoy the time we have left" he said sounding defeated.

"You are wrong Edward, that will never change." I replied sternly.

The mood had changed. I felt a chill run down my spine. Edward started packing things up. "It is going to be dark soon and we have a bit of a walk ahead of us, we should probably get going".

We walked the rest of the way in near silence. When we got to the car he wouldn't even look at me. As each moment past the fear inside of me was growing. _He is going to walk away Bella, when you leave this will all be over, _I thought. _Enough is enough, I can't take this anymore_.

Edward was driving too fast home. "Edward, slow down! Actually stop the car, pull off here, I have something I need to say to you" I demanded.

He complied with a sigh. I turned to him and said "Listen to me, LISTEN, what I said today was real, I haven't felt so full, so complete, in over a year. Hell, I probably feel better right now than I did even before James died. There, I said it. I told you things were strained with us. I need you to understand that this for me, is not a game I'm playing. I'm in this with YOU. I know it isn't going to be easy, I know that. I know I have no idea what it will be like either. I also know that YOU have been dealing with this alone for years now and it is tearing you apart. I think we can help each other. Having someone to talk to about it? Having someone who understands? It will only benefit the both of us. TOGETHER Edward. Don't you even think of leaving me, because I don't think I could bear it. The feeling I've had since we started hiking back is that when I leave next week, you'll just walk away from me, from US. I can't have that. Have faith in me Edward. Believe that I can handle this. Trust me."

I was crying now, begging him. Begging. I didn't even care how pathetic I sounded. I know that this fear inside of me was screaming for him to listen.

"I'm sorry Bella, please, please don't be upset. I just don't want to do anything to hurt you. I don't think I could bear you being hurt and it being my fault" he said with his voice quivering.

"THIS, right here, is hurting me. The thought that you would just walk away. The thought that you could just walk away" I said wiping the tears from my eyes.

"Bella, walking away from you would be the hardest thing I've ever done. The reason I'm sitting right here next to you is because I can't find a way to walk away, because the thought of it fills me with such dread I can't even contemplate it". He said.

"Then can we just stop this? Just let this go, let James go and just BE. Stop letting everything on the outside come between us and just let it BE US. Edward and Bella. No James or Hollywood coming in between us. No bullshit, no pretending, no masks. JUST US." I begged again. "We will never know what US could be if we don't at least try." _We had to try, losing him would be like dying all over again, _ I thought.

"I'm sorry Bella, forgive me. I will do that, I will try, for you. I'm so sorry", his hand was caressing my face and he started kissing me then. It was a kiss like I hadn't felt from him before. Passionate, angry almost, urgent. His lips were all over my face, my neck, feeling more and more urgent. "I'm so sorry" he breathed into my ear.

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a/n: Bella and Edward have some baggage, some guilt they need to move past before they can truly be *together*. So this is working out that final "wedge" between them, leading the way to, well, you can guess... So bear with me. I have a lot of this story mapped out in my mind and I really like the way it is coming together.

a/n 2: reviews make me smile!


	17. Chapter 17

**a/n: This is a short chapter so I decided to publish it now.  
**

**The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, I'm just borrowing them in my happy fantasy land.**

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**EPOV**

Ever since we went hiking things had been different. We both had let go of some of our fears and with that came even stronger of a bond between us. _As if it is even possible to feel a stronger bond with her, _I thought. In the back of my mind, I still worried about how things could change once we were outed as a couple, but she begged me to try. Begged me. So I am trying not to think about that until I have to deal with it.

Our kisses had been different too. More urgent, more passionate, more everything. Each time her lips touched mine I could feel my resolve crumbling. I didn't know how much longer I would be able to stop myself. I wanted this woman so badly. My dreams were growing more vivid with all of the things I wanted to do to her, wanted to do with her. I felt like I knew every inch of her body without ever having seen it.

Our routine continued much like it had before. We never left the hotel room again aside from a lunch with Jasper and Emmett. We still managed to find things to talk about virtually every waking minute we were together that we weren't kissing. I never stopped wanting to know everything there was to know about her. We started sharing the music we both like, naturally, as everything else with the two of us, had quite a bit in common. We were both eclectic, liking classical to punk rock. It was just another reminder of how well we fit together.

Time moved quickly. Too quickly. Our last full day was upon us. _She is leaving, _I thought with my heart heavy. I had no idea how I could manage to even function when she was gone. We woke up late as usual and the room was just charged with excitement. As each minute passed the excitement grew. It was almost time to go. I had ducked out this morning to call Charlotte to make sure she had the rest of what I wanted by the time we got there. It seemed like cheating, not doing everything myself, but that just meant I could spent more time with her. Every moment we had left, I wanted for me and only me.

**BPOV**

I decided to change here at the hotel instead of there. So I told him to go handle the check out process while I got ready.

I took a shower and I wore my hair up. I put on the dress. _Holy crap_, I thought when I saw myself. It was far more cleavage baring than I remembered. It sort of plunged down to right below my sternum. I couldn't wear a bra with it even, so hopefully the girls would stay put. I got the high heeled boots the boys swore would be "fierce" with it and slipped them on. I felt ridiculous. Then I remembered the reaction I got from the other dress and shoes and I knew that Edward wouldn't find it ridiculous at all.

I heard the room door close and he called out that he was ready whenever I was. I checked myself in the mirror again, packing up the last of my make up bag. _Ready as I'll ever be, _I thought and stepped out into see Edward.

**EPOV**

_Oh my fucking God_, I thought when she stepped out of the bathroom. My eyes took in every inch of her. That dress, that black dress hugging her body and showing off her perfect breasts. Those boots, riding up to right where the dress ended. Her hair put up showing off her neck. The way the fabric clung to her perfect ass. I shifted uncomfortably hoping my pants weren't going to give me away.

"You look stunning" I said. _There is no chance in hell I'm going to be able to keep my hands off her tonight_, I thought.

She blushed. "Thanks, I just wanted to look special for you tonight" she replied.

"Special doesn't begin to cover it" I said. I went over to pick up her bag because if I didn't leave right now I'd be throwing her down on the bed in about 15 seconds time ripping that dress clean off of her. She smiled and took my free hand in hers.

As we drove to my apartment I couldn't keep my eyes off her legs. I wanted to reach over and feel her thigh with my hand. _Get a grip Edward, _I thought. The drive was very sort, but long enough to have me completely aroused just from staring at her exposed thigh. We headed up to my apartment. She begins to look around and seemed surprised as she surveyed the place. My living room was basically lined with bookshelves of music and books with a large grand piano in the middle and a black leather couch. This was my favorite room in the apartment, the one I spent the most time in.

"What are you thinking?" I asked nervously.

"Oh nothing, it just wasn't what I expected, you have so many books and all of this music and I just didn't imagine a grand piano in your living room" she responded. "I mean I knew you played of course, but I just didn't expect this at all". She fidgeted a bit more and then bit her lip and said "Will you, will you play for me" she asked with her hand on my shoulder.

I sat down and thought of what to play for her. I knew of course, the music was sitting right there in front of me. The notes that had been stuck in my head since the night we met. My hands found each key easily. She sat on the bench next to me, staring at me as I played it. When I finished I noticed she was wiping away a tear. "That was beautiful" she said. "I've never heard it before, what is it?"

"I wrote that for you" I replied. "When I was here last week, whenever I am around you this song plays in my head like a soundtrack, so when I was here, I was drawn to the piano and wrote it down, perfecting it." I pointed to the sheet music, which I just titled "Bella" at the top and I had dated it.

"I can't believe you wrote that for me" she said, wiping more tears away. She put her arm around my waist and cuddled up to my shoulder. "It has to be one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard. You are just amazing Edward."

"Because it was inspired by the most beautiful person in my life" I said with a small kiss in her nose.

"Are you hungry?" I asked "I plan on making you dinner Bella".

"I'm hungry alright" she said. I had a feeling she wasn't talking about food based on the look she was giving me.

**BPOV**

I couldn't believe what an amazing pianist he was. Watching his fingers glide over the keys. It was magical. He wrote that for ME. Me, Bella Swan. It was so amazingly beautiful I couldn't stop from crying. _Is there anything Edward Cullen can't do_, I asked myself.

He started making dinner for me. Once again shocking me with his perfection. Perfect looks, check. Perfect talent, check. Perfect man, check. I still after all of this time can't understand why he would want to be with me.

I stood in his living room and looked over all of his books. He had an entire wall of them. Classics, modern books, he had it all. Range of authors and genres. I spotted a familiar cover set on the wall and walked over to take out my favorite series. Harry Potter was like an old friend to me. I opened the cover to see that the author herself had signed his book for him. "To Edward, the perfect Cedric, thank you for making my character a reality". _Wow, _I thought_._

I felt Edward lean into me and say "You are the only one with surprises" laughing.

"So tell me if you had to send me on a plane with any book in your collection, which one would it be?" she asked.

I saw him thinking hard. Then he smiled. He walked over to the bookshelf and grabbed a copy of a book I hadn't seen before. "Well since you like Moonlight, I have a feeling you like things about vampires. I assume, or at least I hope, you may be a little down when you leave. Since the thought of you being upset in any way hurts me, I think I should give you something to make you laugh. This book made me laugh and is one of my favorites" he handed me "Bloodsucking Fiends" by Christopher Moore. I put the book in my bag excited to read it on the way home.

"Dinner is served love" he said.

I walked into his dining room and it was so beautiful. There were candles everywhere. The food looked amazing. Seriously there was nothing he couldn't do.

The entire meal he looked like he couldn't take his eyes off of me. _This dress was worth every penny I spent on it_, I thought. His green eyes kept zeroing in on my breasts and where the boots met with the hem.

We finished eating and I thanked him for every bite. I asked him to play for me again, I wanted to watch him as he concentrated on the keys and stroked them with his long fingers.

He sat down and started playing again. He played my song for me again. It sounded just as perfect as the first time I heard it. I stood behind him this time, running my hands through his hair as he played. Then I started rubbing his shoulders, moving my hands up his neck and then back again through his hair, grabbing lightly as I did so. He bent his head back towards me closing his eyes. He never stopped playing or missed a note.

I moved myself closer to him and started kissing his neck softly. He let out a small sound as my lips met his skin. I started kissing harder now that I could tell that he was enjoying it. Moving my mouth up to his ear and biting the lower part of his earlobe. He missed a key there I thought. _You are starting to break him down,_ I thought eagerly. His breathing was more rapid now. I kept kissing his neck, running my tongue up and down his skin, running my hands over his shoulders, down his back and then I would bring my tongue back up to his ear and nibble again. He wasn't even looking at the piano keys, his head was tilted back, his eyes were closed and he was biting his lip. I was so aroused listening him play, feeling his body next to mine, feeling his breathing become more rapid under my kisses, hearing the small sounds escaping from his lips. _I had him,_ I thought.

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a/n: so I imagine you can see where this is going yes? The next chapter will be very citrusy and there will be LEMONS aplenty. So I will try to make it so that it can be skipped if you would rather not enjoy the citrus.

a/n 2: can I just say I feel like I'm sitting in the back of a car on prom night or something with how nervous I am about writing about the lemons?

a/n 3: Thanks again for the reviews!!! Keep them coming! reviews make me realize it is a good thing to be nervous on the back of the car on prom night... ;-)


	18. Chapter 18

**a/n: Thank you so much for all of the reviews! I really appreciate everyone taking the time to read this. **

**To say this chapter has mature content is an understatement. LEMONS. Anything integral to the plot will be repeated in some not so mature chapters in case you want to skip it. This is my first attempt at being citrusy, so bear with me. **

**My analogy of being like a girl in the back of a car at prom night is fitting as I have butterflies in my stomach as I post this. I hope it turns out as good as it plays in my head. I've decided I have to stop editing and just take a deep breath and post it.  
**

**The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, I'm just borrowing them in my happy fantasy land.**

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**EPOV**

Her lips on my neck, thinking of her in that dress. I was done for. There was no controlling myself. _She wants you_, I thought. She knew what she was doing when she bought that dress for me. She knew it would drive me wild. This is our last night. _What could be more special._

She bit my earlobe and I completely lost the song. I was lost in her. Feeling her body pressed up against my back. I was lost in her, completely lost. She kept going, kept kissing me, kept nibbling on my ear. This was it.

"Bella" I moaned. "Are you sure this is what you want? I don't want you to feel pressured" _Please say yes, please say this is what you want. I want you so badly Bella, _I thought.

She ran her tongue up the back of my neck to my ear, nipped at my ear again and whispered in the sexiest voice I've ever heard "I've never wanted anything more, it couldn't be more right". She grabbed onto my hair with fists and sucked on my earlobe onces more.

I couldn't have stopped myself even if I wanted to at this point.

I stopped playing the piano and turned around quickly, taking her into my arms. I pulled her on top of my lap pulling her dress up as a did so, wrapping those fabulous legs around me. I crushed my lips into hers, trailing down to her neck, cupping her breasts through the dress, as she ground her pelvis on top of me. "Edward" she said breathlessly "I've never seen you like this".

Her skin was so warm underneath my lips. My kisses moved to between her breasts, as I was caressing them with my hands. I could feel her nipples stiffening underneath my touch.

Realizing there wasn't room on this bench for all of the things I wanted to do, I picked her up in a swift motion and carried her into the bedroom. I set her down gently and her hands were fumbling for the buttons on my shirt. Before I knew it my shirt was off and she was kissing my chest, running her fingertips softly over me. The feel of her tongue on my skin was arousing me more with every second. She ran her tongue over my nipple and I knew that I had to get that dress off of her now.

It was my turn. I pulled her up and started trailing kisses down the opening of her dress where her breasts parted again. She moaned my name again as she felt my lips on her body.

_So fucking sexy, the way she is calling my name, _I thought.

I turned her around and started kissing her neck as I worked with the zipper to get that dress off of her. She reached back with her hands and felt my shaft over my pants. I stopped breathing for a minute forgetting exactly what I trying to accomplish. She hummed my name again as she rubbed her hand up and down over my pants, grabbing me through the fabric. With one move her zipper was undone and her dress was lying in a heap at her ankles.

Turned her back around and I moved my mouth down her body kissing every bit of her as I did so. I took her nipple into my mouth and gave it a good long suck. "Mmmmmm, Edward" I heard her say in a deep throaty voice. I moved down, kissing and licking every inch of the way, lingering on her belly button, then her sexy black lacy panties, where I planted a soft kiss right on top of her sensitive bud, feeling her shudder as I did so. Then I slid my hands down her thighs and started unzipping those sexy boots of hers. Stepping her out of them.

She pulled me back up and was fumbling for my belt buckle. She got it open and before I knew it my pants were down around my ankles. She grabbed me and pushed me back on the bed, gliding herself on top of me as she did so. Feeling her take charge like that made me want her even more. Need her even more.

_Oh that fucking body, the taste of her skin, she is so fucking hot_.

She ground herself into me as I let out a small moan of pleasure. Her lips and tongue were everywhere my lips, my chest, my neck. I reached down my hand and felt her over her panties again. She arched her back and gave a deep throaty moan of my name.

_So fucking sexy, calling my name like that._

I slowly moved my fingers back and forth across her panties as she bucked harder against them. I could feel her wetness coming through.

_She is so fucking wet, I want her so badly around my shaft._

Her bucking was getting more intense now as was her breathing. Then she stopped what she was doing and I thought for a minute that she was going to call the whole thing off.

"There is something I want to do first" she hummed as she started making her way down my chest with her tongue. She grasped either side of my boxers and pulled them down. She stroked every inch of me with her fingertips, then she began licking it up and down with her tongue. I wasn't sure I was going to make it to the show this felt so good.

_Her lips, her mouth, that tongue. I want her, I want her so bad._

Then she took my shaft in her hand and thrust her warm mouth on top of it. I threw my head back into the pillow, thrusting my hips forward and called out her name. I was gripping the sheets so tightly I thought I would rip them to shreds.

She took me up and down in her mouth, feeling her warm tongue as she played with my head, feeling her hand wrapped around the base sliding up and down. My body was on fire, all of the desire and the need of the past two weeks was building up in me like nothing I had felt before. I wasn't going to last much longer. I tried to hold on as long as I could. I opened my eyes to look down and watch her red lips part and take me deeper and deeper inside of her mouth.

_Her hot tongue caressing the tip, the way she takes me into her mouth, I need her so fucking badly._

Then she took as much of me into her mouth as she could and sucked a deep long suck all of the way up to the top and I lost myself inside her. I can't even remember what I said or how I acted because the room was spinning. I lost myself in the waves of ecstasy that was coming through my body into hers.. I could still feel her lips around me, sucking out every last drop. I was still shuddering underneath her.

When I came back to my senses she was kissing my stomach moving her way up. I grabbed her and pulled her up to me and kissed her deeply, tasting myself in her mouth. "Oh God Bella, you were fucking amazing" I moaned. "You don't know how badly I've wanted you."

"Show me" she said with that look of sex in her eyes.

I reacted immediately of course and turned her over into her back, resuming my fingers on top of her panties. My mouth trailed down to her breasts again. Those perfect breasts. I would take each nipple into my mouth and give them a flick of my tongue or a nice hard suck. She was panting loudly now, her moans were coming more steadily. Slowly I moved my fingers up and down over her panties, working my thumb onto her bud and she would arch her back and shudder as I did so. I grabbed each side of those sexy black panties and pulled them down off of her throwing them somewhere in the recesses of my room. I moved my hand back on top of her, parting her this time as I did so.

_She is so fucking wet, I need to be inside her_

As I parted her I went making circular motions with my fingertips over her bud. She moaned my name again. This time as I went down, I slipped one of my fingers inside of her core and she thrust her hips again towards me. I began making a circuit of it, up to her bud, around a few times in a circle and down again inside of her. Her breathing was faster now. She was biting her lips and moaning my name. This time I slipped in another finger and she moaned louder.

_She is so hot inside, I can't wait to feel that around my shaft._

I was getting more and more aroused again. I started more quickly making the transition from inside of her to her bud. She was bucking harder now, barely able to contain herself. I was sucking on her stiff nipples with more urgency.

_So fucking sexy._

This time as I slipped another finger inside of her I kept my thumb working on her bud and that is when she exploded, loudly calling my name as she shook underneath of me. It was probably the sexiest thing I've ever heard in my life.

When she finished, I was more aroused than ever. My mouth was all over her body again. She grabbed my shoulders and pulled me up to kiss her mouth again. I rubbed my hardness into her thigh to show her how ready I was for her.

"I want to be inside of you" I groaned.

_If I don't get inside of you I'm going to die_

"I want you Edward" she panted in my ear. "Take me"

I quickly reached over to the bedside table where I put a pack of condoms just in case.

_You knew this was going to happen._

I opened the package and rolled it onto my shaft. My hands were trembling in anticipation of what was to come next. I returned my lips to her body taking in her breasts in my hands, her nipples between my lips. She moaned "Take me please Edward, please".

I moved myself to between her legs and I thrust forward and entered her. I let out a deep growl with how good it felt. She was so wet and warm around me.

_She is so tight and hot for me._

I felt her stiffen a bit underneath me and I realized I was probably hurting her. "Bella, are you okay"? I said breathlessly.

She ran her hands in my hair kissing me harder "I'll be fine in a minute, don't stop"

I slowly guided myself in and out of her, taking care not to go too deep. She felt so amazingly warm around my cock. It felt so amazing to me. I was groaning louder and louder as she would move her hips up to meet me as I thrust forward. I was taking long, slow strokes in and out and it felt so amazing feeling her tightness around my shaft. I locked eyes with her then and I saw her looking back at me with the sexiest look I've ever seen on a woman. I grew harder at the sight of it.

_That look is for me, she is so fucking sexy._

She was running her hands down my ass now, pushing me deeper into her, she wanted more, she needed more. I started to thrust more quickly and deeply now as she met my thrusts with those of her own, turning her head and groaning with pleasure.

"Bella, you feel so amazing" I panted.

_Those perfect breasts, that perfect ass, her tight center. _

The passion was starting to coil up inside of me. I kept going in and out of her deeper and faster, stroke after stroke my passion and pleasure was growing. Her body was perfectly in sync with mine, meeting my thrusts bringing up her hips to bring me deeper inside. She dug her nails into my back and yelled out my name and that was all it took for me to explode again inside of her. She shuddered beneath me as I came. I was moaning her name as she was moaning mine. I kept going in quick strokes to milk every inch of cum I had left out of me, riding out the final waves of passion.

I locked eyes with her again and she smiled at me biting her lip. Her face was still flushed from her latest orgasm "I love you Edward" she said.

"I love you, Bella".

I loved her, I loved everything about her. I loved the way she smiled. I loved the way she'd fidget with her hands when she got nervous. I loved the way she looked when she slept. I loved the way her mouth felt on my body. I loved how she called my name the way no woman ever had. I loved how when I was with her, I felt totally complete. _I love you with everything I have to give Bella, _I thought. _I intend love you for the rest of my life._

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a/n: *wrings hands nervously*

a/n 2: This is all written from EPOV because I found it easier to write that way. All of the italics were the thoughts running through his head.

a/n 3: Reviews make me feel like I performed okay. :-).


	19. Chapter 19

**a/n: Thank you so much for all of the reviews! WOW! Just thank you. I love that you take the time out to write them. To respond to some of them: Christopher Moore is a great author, his take on vamps is VERY different than Twilight of course, but I have been a fan of vampires since Buffy was a sophomore in high school. He is totally sardonic and I think his books are great. I am completely addicted to Perez Hilton. I don't want to be, but I find it makes me laugh as well as gives me my celebrity fix. His complete adoration of Robert Pattinson certainly doesn't hurt either.  
**

**This chapter is not as mature as the last one. Mature content is implied, but is not graphic as the last one was. More lemons will come later, but I didn't want it to be too much of the graphic content all together. It is a short one compared to some of the others lately, but I wanted a stand alone chapter that wasn't as mature so people could skip it without missing much plot wise. So this is the PG-13 version of the earlier chapter.  
**

**The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, I'm just borrowing them in my happy fantasy land.**

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**EPOV**

I locked eyes with her again and she smiled at me biting her lip. Her face was still flushed from her latest orgasm "I love you Edward" she said.

"I love you, Bella".

I loved her, I loved everything about her. I loved the way she smiled. I loved the way she'd fidget with her hands when she got nervous. I loved the way she looked when she slept. I loved the way her mouth felt on my body. I loved how she called my name the way no woman ever had. I loved how when I was with her, I felt totally complete. _I love you with everything I have to give Bella, _I thought. _I intend love you for the rest of my life._

**BPOV**

_He said he loves me! This just can't be real, me, being here with him, what just happened between us. _I thought. I was sort of surprised at myself for saying it out loud. I did love him. I just never expected him to say it back and look at me like he really really meant it. I've known how hard I was falling for him, I had no idea that he was falling this hard for me as well. _I just can't believe I've been lucky enough to find him._

I felt his arms wrapped around me as we caressed each other in his bed. I caressed my hands up and down his chest. He kissed my head gently. We stayed like this for a long time in silence.

I finally started looking around his bedroom. More books, more music, an acoustic guitar in the corner. I checked out the sheets. Surprisingly they weren't sexy at all. Just basic dark blue sheets with a dark blue comforter. I chuckled to myself.

"Bella, love, it doesn't do much for a man's self esteem for you to be laughing" Edward joked.

"I was just laughing because I expected some like seduction pit here and it is pretty normal as far as bedrooms go. In fact maybe even plain." I said.

"No real need for a seduction pit until now, I've never had a woman here" Edward explained still caressing my arm. "Well, I mean my mom and my sisters, but I've never had a woman in my bed".

"Seriously?" I said rolling so I could get a good look at his face.

"No, I never met anyone I wanted to have here. I guess I was of the opinion I wanted to get up and walk out whenever I wanted to and that couldn't be done here." he looked down sheepishly.

I kissed him on the lips again "I do so love you Edward Cullen" with a smile. "Everything you say and do seem to be designed to make me love you even more". _I am the only woman to have been in this bed. I am the only woman who is special enough to be here. Special enough to HIM, _I thought. I was so giddy I felt like I was 13 again gushing over the new boy with my girlfriends. I haven't felt this way in so very long.

"That is the plan, to have you fall deeper in love with me every day" he laughed. _Sounds like a perfect plan to me, _ I thought. "Actually I almost forgot, I have dessert for you too! We never got to dessert."

"You mean this wasn't dessert" I said playfully. _Because it was the best damn treat I've ever had, _I thought.

I hopped up out of bed and grabbed his shirt off the floor putting it on myself and scrounging for my panties. "I hope you don't mind" I said putting it on. "That dress isn't lounge wear".

He licked his lips looking me over as I butted the shirt up. "That dress should be illegal in all 50 states," he said. "You were lucky we even made it here, when I saw you in it, I almost never got out of the hotel room".

"Good, I'm glad it worked then" I said with a smile.

"Bella Swan, were you trying to seduce me?" Edward teased.

"Damn right I was! Worth every penny I paid for that dress and then some" I winked.

Edward laughed as he got out of bed and went into the bathroom. He came back in and I got a good long glimpse of him standing there naked. He was very lean and his body was very well sculpted. He caught me staring and smiled at me. I noticed on this right hip a small tattoo. _How could I have missed THAT earlier, _I thought.

I noticed I was probably staring at his tattoo a little too long and he self consciously sort of turned away. It dawned on me that he probably didn't realize I was staring at his tattoo. I laughed again.

"Again, the ego, you know, my ego has been dashed all across the blog of Perez Hilton". Edward laughed nervously.

"I was trying to figure out what your tattoo was and then I realized you were getting self conscious because it probably looked like I was starting at something else!" I laughed harder now "Oh! On the Perez front, umm, I can say that report is unequivocally FALSE"

Edward seemed to relax a bit when I said that. _Performance concern from Edward? Wow, he seriously has no idea how perfect he is in EVERY way, _ I thought.

"This is my family crest." Edward said, motioning to the tattoo. "I don't know, it was stupid, it was shortly after my first film and some of my friends and I thought it would be cool. I didn't want it someplace conspicuous, so I put it here. When it came time to pick something I figured this is something I likely wouldn't regret." he said.

I ran my hand over his tattoo. Then I panned out to take him in again, all of him, standing there. He looked so amazingly perfect.

He leaned over to me and took my bottom lip between his and sucked on it briefly and released it. "The way you look at me like that makes me want you all over again" he said. _Your own sexy stare is pretty impressive as well there Edward_, I thought.

"We have all night" I said. "First, lets get dessert though, I need to keep up my blood sugar if I intend on keeping up with you." He grabbed his boxers and his pants and slid them on and then we went into the kitchen. He looked so sexy with his black pants skimming over his body and no shirt on. His hair still tussled from me grabbing fistfuls of it. His smile was full of satisfaction.

I went to my purse and grabbed my phone. He looked at me like I was crazy. "I never want to forget this look on you, you look so amazingly sexy right now" and I snapped a shot.

He grabbed his phone off the front table and took one of me in turn. "I couldn't forget this even if I tried" he said. _Neither could I, _I thought.

**EPOV**

We stood in my kitchen eating the tiramisu I made. She was wearing my button down and it looked almost as sexy as that black dress on her. Every now and then she'd pick up a fork full of it and then feed it to me and I was overcome with the sense that this is what it feels like to be normal. To meet someone, fall in love and enjoy the smallest simplest things with them. _Here I am completely thrilled over being fed dessert by someone, _I thought.

I took a bit of dessert onto my finger and then I held it up to her lips. She playfully took my finger in her mouth and sucked it off. Then I saw her do the same for me, putting a finger in her dessert and then putting it into my mouth. Then in a flash I saw her hand sort of grab a bunch of dessert on her fingers smearing it all over the side of my face laughing and then she reached up and licked a bit off the side of my face.

"This means war you know" I said as I grabbed more and started trying to smear it anywhere I could, thinking of the promise of cleaning it up later.

**BPOV**

_Wow, I was just thinking that we'd have a food fight, not end up covered in dessert having sex on the kitchen floor! _I thought.

We were giggling like crazy, kissing the remains off of dessert of each others faces. "I'm so sorry Edward, I don't know what came over me!" I teased.

"I'm not sorry" he said pulling me closer into another kiss.

"I'll help you clean up the mess" I said.

"The only mess you are going to help me clean up is all over me" he said and with a swift motion he picked me up and carried me into his shower.

The feel of his hands washing my hair was amazing. He would gently place soft kisses all over me as he washed off my body. His touch was so gentle against me. Once I was sufficiently cleaned off I happily took my turn running my hands over him washing him as I went, stealing kisses where I could. As sexy as the moment was, it was also very loving, I felt safe, I felt cared for, I felt loved. For the first time in over a year I feel as if the future holds something good for me. That my life isn't over, that a new life may be beginning. The emotion of it all got to be too much for me and I started to well up with tears. I attempted to wipe them away without drawing attention, but I should have known that Edward would have noticed.

"Bella, are you okay?" Edward said caressing my face.

"I am wonderful Edward. Its just, I mean, I feel like for the first time in a year I have something worth living for" I said.

He kissed me lightly on the lips and just put his arms around me, the water was falling over us. We stood that way for a while, just holding onto each other. He reached back and turned off the water and proceeded to dry me off. My tiredness was hitting me hard now, but I was fighting sleep so badly. I didn't want to waste any of our time left sleeping.

"Bella, you look exhausted, come lay down" Edward said toweling himself off.

"I'll be fine, do you have any coffee or soda?" I replied.

"Bella, it is 6 am your time, you are going to have such a hard time adjusting back to east coast time. Come, lay down, let me hold you while you sleep" he said again more sternly.

"I don't want to miss a moment with you" I whined. "How is it you aren't nearly as tired as I am?"

"I'm used to being on long shoots and being up late." he grabbed me now and pulled me onto the bed and threw his cover over us. "We have many moments to come Bella, sleep love." He wrapped me in his arms and began humming the song he wrote to me, my song, to me. I lasted a while taking in every moment of this. The way he smelled, the sound of his voice, the feel of his skin next to mine before I finally drifted off feeling completely at peace.

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a/n: reviews make me feel safe and loved and completely at peace too...


	20. Chapter 20

**a/n: Thank you so much for all of the reviews! WOW! Just thank you. I love that you take the time out to write them. To respond to one of them asking me their ages: Bella is 24 years old. Edward in my mind is around 22 - imagine that, same age as Rob is :-).  
**

**The first part of this chapter has some graphic mature sexual content/LEMONS. If you skip past Edwards POV you can skip the graphic stuff. (It is their last morning together! They had to have a BIT more nookie). Everything after that is non-lemony.  
**

**The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, I'm just borrowing them in my happy fantasy land.**

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**EPOV**

I was starting to wake up in my mind and I started taking in all of the things around me. The way she smelled with her hair nuzzled next to my face. The warmth that her body put off laying next to mine. The way her breath rose and fell in an almost perfect cadence. I wanted to remember all of these things because in only a few hours she would be on a plane home. I wasn't going to let that ruin the last few hours we had together, but selfishly I didn't want to spend anymore of it sleeping. No matter how much I knew she needed it.

I started softly kissing the place where her hair fell away from her neck, slowly adding in a little but of tongue. I felt her breathing catch beneath me and then heard a deep "mmmmm" as she started to stretch out her body. I knew she was starting to wake up.

I kept kissing her gently this time moving away her hair so I could kiss more of her neck, running may hands down her side to take every curve of her into my memory. I moved to her arm and made my way down trailing soft kisses as I went. Her hand moved up to the side of my face and caressed it.

"Good morning" she whispered in a still sleepy voice.

"I hope so" I whispered back as I kept moving my hands on her body.

She rolled over then to face me smiling. I leaned over to kiss her mouth softly, her hands were running through my hair and then trailing down my back. Her leg moved to wrap my body closer to hers. There wasn't the same sense of urgency and need as last night inside of me. This was something I wanted to go slow to better remember all of the details. I gently kissed all around her face, her neck, her ear. I had been completely aroused before I had even woke her just knowing what it was I had planned. She kept pulling me towards her with her leg to feel my arousal closer to her.

Her kisses met my body with the same tenderness that mine had met hers. Her hands running over me felt so warm and soft. I trailed my fingers lightly over her breasts, feeling them stiffen under my touch. I moved them down to the perfect arch of her hips and cupped her ass bringing her closer to me. My kisses were becoming more deep and meaningful. My tongue was working in unison with my hands now. Tasting her sweet skin in my mouth. I trailed my hand slowly down to her center and I could tell she was ready for me. As I parted her and rubbed my fingers in a circular motion, her sense of urgency seemed to rise. She was panting softly now, biting onto my shoulder every now and again.

She let out a soft moan as she ground herself into my hand and quickly rolled over to my nightstand to get a condom. She unwrapped it and proceeded to put it on me. Watching her put the condom on me with that smile on her face was so sexy. It was not the awkward fumbling and hurrying that I would do while urgently trying to put it on so I could get down to business, it was part of the foreplay.

She rolled me onto my back and straddled my body with her legs. Kissing me harder and running her hands all over my chest. My hands were caressing her all over as well. She positioned herself so I was right at her entrance, but wasn't moving me inside. She would slowly lower herself a small amount onto me and then come back up. Her teasing continued, each time letting a tiny bit more of me enter her, then she would quickly move back up.

I wanted so badly to roll her over and take her, but I knew that she was in control here and so I let her continue on her terms. Sensing my need to have her, she slowly lowered herself all of the way down taking all of me inside of her. I let out a groan at the pleasure of it. Slowly she lifted herself again and made several more slow and deliberate passes at bringing me inside her all of the way and then back out. Then her pacing sped up a bit more as her arousal rose with mine, but still controlled and deliberate.

"Bella, you are so fucking sexy" I said in a deep low groan. The smile that came to her lips was even sexier. She locked her eyes on mine and then started to speed up a bit more, her control was breaking and she was giving into the moment. She was making soft noises in her throat, arching her head back and closing her eyes. "You feel so good Edward" she said in a deep throaty voice. I was grabbing her with my hands more roughly as I felt the coil starting to build. Deep moans came out of my throat "yes, Bella, just like that, you feel so amazing" I groaned. She was riding me with reckless abandon now she had let herself go completely.

She started shuddering on top of me and I could feel her tensing around my shaft as she came. I exploded at the feeling of her around me groaning loudly as I did so, pulling her to me so I was deep inside. As I was trying to catch my breath, she locked eyes with me again looking completely pleased with herself.

"You are a very big tease Bella Swan" I said bringing myself up to kiss her. "Why thank you Edward Cullen, all good things come to those who wait." she said.

I continued planting kisses all over her face and neck, feeling again every curve of her body. Needing to remember all of it. I checked the clock and knew it was going to be time to go soon.

"I am going to miss you so very much" I said.

**BPOV**

"I am going to miss you too Edward" I said.

I knew it was time to get up and start getting ready to leave, but I couldn't move just yet. I didn't want to let go of the moment. I was hoping he would do it for me, but I think he felt the same way. I let out a soft whimper and whispered "I'm so sorry" and then moved to get out of bed. I grabbed a few of my clothes and moved into his bathroom to get ready. I tried to hurry through the shower and just threw my hair back in a ponytail and went without make up to get back to him.

He had gotten dressed as well and was sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands as I walked out from the bathroom. My heart fell at the sight of him. I walked up and took his face in my hands and kissed him. There were no words to ease this feeling.

"I can't walk you into the airport" he said. "I would be afraid I'd be spotted and I just don't want that for our goodbye". He looked pained as he said this, I knew he wanted to spend every moment possible with me before I left.

"I understand Edward" I said. "I know you would come in with me if you could." I sat down on his lap and took him in my arms again. We held onto each other tightly for a long time, each of us unwilling to break our hold on the other.

He moved his head to mine and kissed me "Well if we don't leave now you'll miss your flight and as glorious as that sounds me to right now, I know we can't have that happen".

As he grabbed my bags I took one last look around his apartment. I breathed in deep trying to remember as much of it as I could. I felt a lump hard in my throat as I tried to swallow. _No tears Bella, there will be time enough for tears on the plane, _I thought.

He took my hand and led me down to his car, holding my hand tightly in his. The car ride was silent and somber, his hand rarely leaving mine. He pulled into the airport all too quickly.

"Call me when you land, so I know you made it home safely" he said, his voice cracking a bit under the silence. He turned to me and said "We will talk every night and then in two weeks we will be together again. Two weeks." He pulled me tightly to him and kissed me. "I love you Bella" he said holding onto me tightly.

"I love you too, Edward" I said, getting out of the car and grabbing my stuff from the back. I locked eyes with him one last time and blew him a kiss and waved. I turned and without stopping I walked to the airport. My tears began to flow before I had made the first step away from the car.

**EPOV**

_Why did I let her leave? Why? Why didn't I beg her to stay? WHY? _I was driving too fast and I knew it. I had to get away from there quickly before I ran into the airport and just booked a seat on the plane for myself or grabbed her and carried her back out with me.

I pulled over the car for a minute and lashed out at the steering wheel in anger. My chest felt like someone had plunged their fist in and pulled out my heart. I sat there with my head down on the wheel for a minute and decided the only way I was going to get through the next two weeks was to keep myself as busy as possible.

**BPOV**

I was still crying as I made my way through security and sat down at the gate. I knew this was going to be difficult, but I didn't realize how difficult it would be. _You could go back, you could fly out later, you could figure out a way to stay, _ I thought. I knew I couldn't though, I had to go back home, at least for now, I had a job, I had family, I had friends.

I got myself a cup of coffee and some food and decided to check my phone as a distraction and I saw about 10 text messages from Jasper and Emmett asking me what happened and wishing me a safe trip home.

I started flipping through the Internet and thinking of Edward as I did so, purposefully googling his name to see what photos I could find of him easily. Then in a flash an idea came into my head, a way to thank him for the time we had together. I quickly composed a message and sent it on its way. _I hope this works_, I thought. My plane started to board, so I grabbed my stuff and boarded the plane.

**EPOV**

I returned to my apartment and realized I had some cleaning up to do in the kitchen. I stood in the doorway and smiled remembering how she caught me completely off guard with the tiramisu. _I am not going to think back on this and be sad_, I said to myself. I grabbed some paper towels and began to clean up.

That distraction didn't last long so I sort of went around my apartment and cleaned up whatever. _Mom would be so proud_, I thought. Then I thought of Alice and my promise to her to fill her in. Talking to her about Bella would be a way to make it all more real and to share with someone else this amazing woman I couldn't get out of my mind.

I grabbed my phone and dialed.

"EDWARD!" she squealed as she answered the phone. "Spill, NOW".

"Hello to you too Alice" I laughed. "What exactly is it you want me to spill" I said pretending to be coy.

"You know damn well what it is I want you to spill" she said. "Bella. Swan. Adorable girl with brown eyes and brown hair who is with someone else on her facebook avatar, but yet has a picture of you with your bedroom eyes that she tagged under her friends section. SPILL".

I laughed again at my sister's tenacity. Only Alice would have done so much digging and trying to fill in every blank herself.

"I met Bella two weeks ago at a party. From the first moment I met her Alice, I just felt at home. Easy, relaxed, happy. She made me laugh. I think I spent the majority of that night trying to just keep her with me and engaged because the thought of her walking away was not an option. Well then until of course stupid fucking Tanya shows up and almost ruined everything." I said.

"I told you Edward, I told you that Tanya was a huge freaking mistake. Even Rosalie says she is a complete asshole, and that should say something right there." she laughed.

"I know, I know" I replied. "Thankfully I was able to talk to her and I basically stood there begging her to give me another chance after knowing her like 6 hours. Begging, Alice. I just felt like for the first time in a long time I could just be me around her. Not Edward Cullen famous actor and musician. Just Edward. Bella's Edward. That draw was so powerful for me I lost all sense of my manhood attempting to keep her close to me. "

There was silence for a minute and then I heard her say with a giggle "Who are you and what have you done with my brother?"

"I know, right? This girl is special Alice. I spent almost every minute of the next two weeks with her. We talked about everything. She is just so amazing in every way." I said.

"So when am I going to meet this love of your life?" Alice said.

"Is it that obvious Alice?" I said.

"Edward you are calling me waxing poetic about a girl. Does it get anymore obvious?" she said.

"You will meet her soon. I want her to meet mom and dad soon too. I am flying out there in two weeks to see her. She lives in Pennsylvania. We are meeting in DC for the weekend. I was actually thinking of seeing if she wanted to come home with me for Thanksgiving, but I didn't bring that up to her just yet" I said.

"THANKSGIVING?" Alice said shocked. "Yes, I think I'm going to definitely need to meet Bella sooner rather than later if I'm going to get to know her even the slightest amount before the two of you marry and have babies".

I laughed again at my sister. _Marry and have babies, _I thought. Then my mind returned to James. I wonder if going home, to the house they shared would make me seem less appealing to her. If their life together was surrounding her, would I be more of the memory and he would be more of the present?

"Hello??? You still there Edward?" she said.

"I am, sorry, see, its sort of complicated. She was married before. Her husband died 14 months ago in a car accident. So I think it is safe to say there will be no rings or babies before you have gotten to know each other better." I said with a sort of sadness in my voice.

"Oh, I'm sorry Edward, I was just teasing" Alice said "I mean it is just you have never brought anyone here ever to meet mom and dad, let alone for a holiday".

"I don't even know if she would come, she has family and friends there in Pennsylvania" I said.

"If she feels even a tenth of what I am sensing from you, she will be there Edward" Alice teased. "Now, tell me all there is to know about Bella!"

We continued to talk for over an hour. All about Bella. Amazingly there wasn't a question Alice asked me about her that I didn't know the answer too. It was nice to talk about her with my sister.

"Well I have Biochem in like an hour, so I better bolt" she said. "Keep me updated if she is coming here for Thanksgiving, mom and dad are going to FLIP OUT!"

"I'll call them sometime tomorrow Alice, have a good day" and I hung up the phone.

Bella lingered everywhere in my apartment. It had been 4 hours since she left, she was halfway home. I saw my computer and I decided to send her flowers for tomorrow so she had something to remind her of me in her house. I ordered a beautiful bouquet of gerbera daisies, which she said was her favorite and wrote her a quick note.

_Darling Bella,_

_Two weeks can't come fast enough,_

_I miss you already._

_Love always,_

_Edward_

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_a/n: She had to get on the plane! They are in a whirlwind romance yes, but she HAD to get on the plane. Moving in with him wasn't an option just yet. _

_a/n2: reviews make the 2 weeks go faster...  
_


	21. Chapter 21

**a/n: Thank you AGAIN so much for all of the reviews! I can't even tell you how much I appreciate them.  
**

**The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, I'm just borrowing them in my happy fantasy land.**

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**BPOV**

I sat in a trance on the plane looking out the window. I was trying, mostly unsuccessfully, to fight back the tears. I just kept going over everything in my mind over the last two weeks over and over again. I ached at the thought of not being able to look in his eyes for 2 weeks. I ached at not being able to feel the touch of his hand. _You can do this Bella, you've survived far worse_, I told myself.

I remembered the book Edward had given me in my bag. I reached down and got it and started reading. I became totally engrossed in the book immediately, I was even laughing out loud at parts, I couldn't put it down. Edward knew me too well to know this was something I not only would love, but would help me forget this pain in my chest, even for a few minutes.

**EPOV**

After I got off the phone with Alice I sort of bummed around my apartment like a lost puppy. I had no idea what to do with myself. I heard my phone ring and I saw it was my agent Ari. I had been ducking his calls for 2 weeks now and I know that Ari would probably at least distract me.

"Ari, what's up?" I answered.

"Where the FUCK have you been Edward?" Ari complained. "I've been fucking calling you for weeks, you are ignoring my calls now? If it hadn't of been for Lauren and Charlotte telling me they had talked to you, I'd have been calling the fucking police by now."

"I was busy, I do have a life you realize?" I shot back.

"And that fucking LIFE is being seen in public and fucking answering my fucking calls Edward" he retorted.

"What the fuck do you want Ari? Or did you just call me to give me shit?" I snapped.

"Lauren and I need to meet with you, we need to sit down and figure out the press tour before the movie release." Ari said.

_Ugh the fucking press tour, _I thought. "What time works for you? I'm open pretty much all week", I responded.

"Tomorrow, noon, my office" Ari continued. "And Edward, I don't know which girl you've been fucking lately, but way to spin that bit from Tanya in Perez. Lauren swears she didn't plant it. You must have given that girl a ride of a lifetime for her to start an open press war with Tanya."

_What now! Jesus. Fucking Perez, _I thought to myself. "I don't know what you are talking about Ari, I'm not fucking anyone, you know how these girls can get". _Ari does not need to know about Bella, _I thought.

"Well she is someone who has been up close and personal with your Johnson, because she seems to know you have a tattoo on your left hip." Ari retorted. "Keep up the good work my man, go read about yourself in all of your glory. Lauren is in heaven over it."

I coughed out loud completely caught off guard by what Ari said. _Who in the hell that knows about my tattoo would defend me in the press? What the fuck is going on? _ I heard a laugh on the other end of the phone. "I knew you were fucking someone Edward, whatever, keep her all to yourself, I'm sure she is a hot piece of ass, see you tomorrow" and he clicked off the phone.

I grabbed my laptop and went to see what the hell this was all about. I found the headline about 4 stories down.

_**We knew it wasn't true!**_

_According to an anonymous email we received today Edward Cullen is most definitely NOT lacking in the sack. We knew it! We received the following email this morning on our tips line:_

"_**Dear Perez,**_

_**I am writing this to let you know that I have been with Edward Cullen and your earlier report couldn't be more incorrect. Perhaps if certain Hollywood starlets would lay off the coke, they would be able to appreciate the rather significant bedroom abilities Edward possesses. I had to set the record straight. Just in case you think I am making this up, Edward has a very sexy tattoo on his left hip that I had the great fortune of being up close and personal enough to see. **__**Four times. In one night.**_

_**Regards, B"**_

_We tried to trace the email to see who mysterious miss B is, but she created a new email account to stay anonymous. We now are dying to see this hot little tattoo on his hip. It makes our panties moist just thinking about it! What do you think it could be? _

_Meow, the claws are out over E Cull and his unit. We just wish we were in the fight! _

_Jesus Christ Bella! _I thought putting my head in my hands. However I started to laugh to myself. Engaging Tanya this way was probably not a good idea, but I loved how she couldn't just let it go without standing up for me. One of the many things that I found attractive in Bella was her strength. She isn't going to let some bitter shrew mess with someone she cares about. I laughed at the thought of Tanya's publicist calling her up and telling her about this little spin gone wrong. Tanya would be in rare form today.

**BPOV**

The flight passed more quickly than I expected. I was so engrossed in this book that I barely noticed the plan was landing. I was feeling the tiredness washing over me now. I had such a long drive ahead of me, I flew out of DC since that was the cheapest flight, so I had about a 90 minute drive ahead of me home. Then I remembered I had to call Edward and decided that maybe that would help keep me awake on the ride home. I felt giddy over the thought of hearing his voice again. I practically ran off the plane to find my car in the parking lot.

When I got to the car, I hooked up my ear piece and called him straight away. He answered on the first ring.

"Bella! How are you?" he answered excitedly. My heart warmed when I heard his voice.

"I'm okay, tired, I have a long drive ahead of me" I responded.

"Well good thing you have me to talk to in order to keep you awake" Edward said. _It is like he read my mind_, I thought.

"I loved the book, I'm almost done! You were right. I did laugh; it helped make a long flight more bearable." I told him.

"I'm glad you liked it" he responded.

"So tell me what you've been up to today, every detail, leave nothing out" I asked.

"Well I talked with my sister Alice for about an hour in which I was forced to answer virtually every question my sister could possibly come up with of things she wanted to know about you. It would have been more than an hour if she didn't have to go to class. She can't wait to meet you Bella." Edward said.

"I can't wait to meet her either!" I responded. "You speak of her so fondly; I just look forward to getting to know her better".

"She could completely tell I was completely head over heels for you too" he said. I smiled at the thought of him telling his sister about me and her being able to discern that he was as crazy about me as I was him.

"Then Ari, my agent, called and he wants to sit down with me to go over the press tour for the movie release tomorrow. My publicist will be there as well. So after that I'll have a better idea about my schedule and we can sit down and go through and figure out when we can see each other" he said. I loved his forwardness with me on this, it wasn't _if_ we can see each other, it wasn't awkward, it was we _will_ sit down and we _will_ figure out when we are going to see each other. I tingled at the thought of it.

"I hope you have a passport" Edward said.

"Passport?" I asked.

"Well I am sure I will have several press tours in Europe and maybe you can pick whatever countries you want to see and we'll fly you in there and I'll stay a few extra days with you." he said with his voice still full of confidence.

"I do have a passport and I would be thrilled to see anything in Europe. I've never needed to actually use my passport; we got them in hopes that we'd need them someday and never did. I've always wanted to see the world." I said.

"I would love to show you the world Bella." He said.

"Where have you been before?" I asked.

He started talking about all of the places he had traveled, just in the past few years. He loved being in Rome and London the most, but he really enjoyed the rich history and architecture all over Europe. He had actually never been to Washington D.C. before, so I was excited to get to show him a place I knew more about than he did.

Before I knew it I was pulling into my garage. Ninety minutes had passed like a blink of an eye. I sighed.

"I am home now" I said. "I should probably get going because I really need to get to bed if I have any hope of getting back onto East Coast time before I have to be back to work."

"Of course Bella, I will call you tomorrow night, probably around 7pm your time, I should be done with Ari by then. OH! Speaking of Ari, thank you for your raving review to Perez" he laughed.

I clapped my hands together like a giddy schoolgirl, _it worked, _I thought. "I know not of what you speak Edward." I said giggling.

"Sure you don't B" he said. "As flattered as I am by it, you really didn't need to do it; Tanya will be out for blood".

"Fuck her" I said, sort of surprised at my own candor. "I'm not going to sit back and have fangirls everywhere thinking you don't know what you are doing".

"I know Bella, one of the many things I adore about you." Edward said. "Have a good rest. I love you, call if you need anything".

"Love you too Edward, good night".

I grabbed my stuff out of the car and went inside. Over the past 14 months I had grown to really hate my house because of the suffocating number of memories it contained. Every day I'd remember something else that James and I had shared there and every day I would hurt more. Now I looked around filled with guilt. The things we had picked out together, the photos of us everywhere, my entire house was a tribute to the man I no longer could claim had a hold on my heart. I still loved James, of course, but my thoughts were now completely filled with Edward.

I wearily walked up to my bedroom and just changed my clothes and collapsed into my bed. There would be plenty of time for guilt tomorrow.

**EPOV**

I was still riding high off of my phone conversation with her. I was happy that she didn't seem to question coming to Europe with me. I knew I'd be there for probably the better part of a month and I wasn't going to wait that long between seeing her. I would just have to figure out a way to hide her from the press.

_Stupid fucking press_, I thought. I didn't know how exactly they would respond if and when they found out about her. I feared for the worst though. I could imagine assholes from her past making up lies about her for headlines. Her being followed everywhere she went. I could also imagine that maybe she would only be photographed when we were out together, but not swarmed the way that I was. I just didn't know, but I wasn't in any hurry to find out. The one good thing to come out of the iPhone incident was it showed her exactly what I was talking about.

I hadn't brought up Thanksgiving just yet; the thought of her saying no had me afraid to ask. I know if she said no, it would not be because she didn't want to spend it with me, but rather because she wouldn't be spending it with her family. I just wasn't sure how I should approach the subject. _Tomorrow, I'd find a way to bring it up tomorrow, _I thought.

Tiredness started to fall over me. I never wanted to sleep when Bella was with me because I'd even rather be watching her sleep over sleeping myself. It had caught up to me. Even though it was ridiculously early, I went to lay down in bed. The smell of her was all over my pillows, it was intoxicating. I was asleep in seconds.

**BPOV**

_Knocking? Is someone knocking on my door this early? _I thought. I could hear someone ringing the doorbell and then knocking. I checked the clock thinking surely it was going to be like 8 am and was shocked to see it was 1 pm. I had slept for 15 hours solid! I ran downstairs to get the door to find the most stunning bouquet of flowers on my door step. Gerbera daisies. I knew they were from Edward, but I had to see the card immediately, I bent down and grabbed it and read it still standing there with the door open. I put it close to my heart when I finished and I heard a voice coming from the street.

"Good afternoon Bella" Billy Black said.

"Hey Billy, how are you doing?" I asked.

"I can't complain. How was your trip? Did you have fun out in California?" he asked.

"I did have a great trip Billy, thank you for asking. It was exactly what I needed I think" I responded. I didn't want to tell him about Edward. Billy was like a second father to James, I just wasn't sure how he'd respond to knowing about Edward.

"Those are beautiful flowers, it looks like you made quite the impression on someone" he smiled.

His response took me by surprise. I still didn't think it was the best idea to discuss Edward, but I didn't want to lie to him either. He seemed to be smiling though. "I sure hope so Billy" I smiled, leaving it at that for him to discern the meaning of my words.

"I'll see you around Bella" and he wheeled himself into his house. My thoughts instantly went to James again.

I went upstairs into my room and I saw my wedding rings sitting on my dresser. I had taken them off for the first time before I left for California. I viewed it as a sign that I was ready to start trying to live my life again, a life that didn't include James. A lump began to form in my throat as I picked them up, running my fingers over them, remembering how much they meant to me. I knew what I needed to do today. Opened up my jewelry box and put my rings away. I went to get ready for the drive ahead of me.

I knew Edward would be meeting with Ari soon, so I decided to call my mom, Renee, instead to keep me company on my drive. She asked me all sorts of things about my trip, but I wasn't ready to tell her about Edward either. I guess I was full of fear about how everyone would respond to him. _Besides, there was someone you needed to talk to about this first_, I thought. I sort of told her plenty of half truths and over embellished the time I spent with Jasper and Emmett. I did mention I met a man named Edward who I got along really well with. She got very excited at the thought of it, but I quickly changed the subject by asking her about her life.

I pulled into the lot and parked getting off the phone with my mother. I walked down to the dock and sat on the edge dangling my feet over the Chesapeake Bay because I had to be closer to James. This was the dock he went out of on his last day alive. This was the dock where I set off from to scatter his ashes. I had to talk to him and I always felt closer to him here. I'd often drive down here on the weekends to feel close to him. They knew me by now of course, crazy Bella crying on the dock talking to her dead husband again. Most of the boats hadn't come in for the day just yet, so I knew I would have some privacy.

"Hi James" I said softly. "I know it has been over a month since I've come here and I'm sorry. I went to California for a few weeks to get away. I met someone there James." My voice was cracking.

"I never planned on loving anyone again when you died. I wanted to die myself for a long time. I even came close to joining you last year." I swallowed hard at the memory of that night.

"But when I met Edward, I didn't want to die anymore. I am in love with him James." I was crying now. I had to confess this; I would never truly be able to move on until I talked with James about it.

"I really think he loves me too as improbable as that may seem. I will never stop loving you James. I hope you can understand that. I hope you know that my love for him will never replace the love I had for you. I also hope you can understand that I need to move on and see where this love will take me. I can't keep holding onto to you and your memory in hopes that will fill me up inside. It only makes me feel more empty, more alone. I just don't want to be alone anymore James. I don't want to shut him out; I honestly don't think I can shut him out. I love him James. I really do love him. I hope you can forgive me."

I sat there for a long time in silence. The boats were coming in now, dumping off their passengers and cleaning up for the day. They all ignored me. I just sat with my legs curled up under me listening to the water slap against the dock. I was remembering a lot of the time that James and I spent together: How we met, his proposal, our wedding, our marriage. The whole greatest hits reel of our lives. Then a new image popped into my mental trip down memory lane, Edward, the way his eyes lit up when he laughed. "Goodbye James" I said standing up, wiping the tears from my face and turning to walk away from the past I had been holding to so tightly towards the future I was excited to discover.

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a/n: this is a longish chapter because I just want to have as few chapters as possible until they are back together. However I felt I needed to explore their lives apart as well as together.

a/n2: Yes, in my head Edward's agent is Ari Gold from the TV show Entourage. Agents don't get anymore awesome than Ari. That is why his language is so colorful, because that character is all about color.

a/n3: Bella needed to talk to James. In my head that was sort of her place to go to be close to him, just as people visit gravestones, so it seemed fitting to me she would see her rings and it would draw her back to him. She couldn't truly give her heart away to someone else until she vocalized to herself, via her conversation with James, that she was ready to.

a/n4: "it makes our panties moist" was a direct ripoff of a Perez article about Robert Pattinson. I had to use it because it made me laugh out loud when I read it.

a/n5: Reviews make me excited for the future.


	22. Chapter 22

**a/n: Thank you to all those who review. I love reading your reviews, especially those of you to take the time to tell me what you think about it, what you like. I really appreciate it. If there is something that isn't working for you either, please let me know. The more feedback I get the better I think I can make the story. I can't even tell you how giddy I get when I see there is a new review waiting.  
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**a/n2: This is a REALLY REALLY long chapter compared to the others (like double the length). I probably would have split it into 2 parts, but honestly I just started writing and I figured I'd just throw it all into one. I think I'm just as anxious in getting them back together as they are!  
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**The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, I'm just borrowing them in my happy fantasy land.**

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**EPOV**

I woke up at 9 am the next morning. I couldn't believe I had slept that long. I stayed in bed for a while and enjoyed the lingering smell of Bella still present on my pillow. I wondered what she was doing now. It was noon by now, so I assumed she was awake. I fought the urge to call her, I had said I would call her tonight. I saw my guitar in the corner of my room and I decided to play for a bit to help keep my hands from dialing her number. I needed to put the finishing touches on the songs that I was supposed to record for the soundtrack next weekend. The songs came back to me easily as I played them.

I remembered I had promised Alice that I would call my parents today, so I grabbed my phone and dialed them.

"Edward! Good to hear from you son" my father Carlisle answered.

"Hey dad, how are you?" I asked.

"I can't complain things are certainly keeping me busy at the hospital. Your mother has got a new client she is working with that she is very excited about" he said. "How are you doing?"

"I am doing really good dad. I am supposed to meet with Ari today to go over the press tour for the new movie release and then I'll have a good idea of my schedule in the coming year." I replied. I was fiddling with my guitar nervously wondering how exactly to bring up Bella.

"Are you still planning on coming home for Thanksgiving?" he asked.

_Well it is now or never, _I thought.

"Actually that is why I called. I was hoping it would be okay if I brought someone with me home for Thanksgiving" I said nervously.

"Someone as in?" he asked leading me to a more descriptive answer.

I laughed. This was new territory for my parents because I had never asked to bring home anyone ever before. "Her name is Bella Swan, she is from Pennsylvania. I met her several weeks ago and really want to ask her to come home and meet everyone."

"You know you are always welcome to bring anyone here, Edward, no asking needed. Your mother and I will look forward to meeting Bella." Carlisle responded.

"I am not sure if she can come though, she has family in Pennsylvania, so we will see." I said. I could hear my mother asking for the phone in the back ground. Then I could hear her giggling and grabbing for it as my father most likely pushed her off.

"Your mother wants to talk to you Edward, I'll talk to you soon" he said and I heard the phone being ripped out of his hands.

"Edward!" She said excited.

"Hi mom, how are you?" I asked.

"I didn't grab the phone from your father to talk about me Edward, who is Bella and when are we going to be meeting her?" she asked sounding excited.

"Ease up mom" I laughed. "I met Bella a few weeks ago when she was visiting Jasper in LA. I basically stole her away from Jasper and Emmett and kept her all to myself for the two weeks she was here".

"About time Jasper had something taken from him for a change" Esme said with her voice full of grit.

"Whatever mom, would you want Rose to be with Emmett still with him knowing he was gay?" I responded.

"I'm sorry Edward, continue" she said relaxing her tone. I had forgotten what a grudge my mother still held toward Jasper and Emmett.

"Anyway, we spent the better part of two weeks together and I'm flying out to DC to meet up with her in a few weeks. I want to ask her to join me at home for Thanksgiving." I said.

"Well I truly hope she can make it Edward, however if she can't, perhaps you can bring her here another time soon. Or we can fly down to see you both in LA?" Esme said.

"I promise mom, you will meet her soon. I'll let you know after I talk to her today. I have to meet with Ari to nail down my schedule for the press tour" I responded.

We continued to small talk about things and then I got off the phone, got showered, dressed and headed to meet Ari and Lauren.

Ari's office was in a huge office building downtown. He had the entire 25th floor. They were expecting me of course. I was ushered into Ari's office and Lauren was already there waiting for me.

"Edward darling" she gave me a fake hug. Everything about Lauren was fake. Her entire career was spinning fake things into good press.

"Edward!" Ari came in for a hug too. As much of a dick that Ari could be sometimes, I had to like the guy, he made me laugh. "Did you like that bit in Perez? Honestly man, what you must get to do with these women, I'd love to hear about it sometime."

"So, the press tour" I said changing the subject.

The went through the dates with me. Premiers, interviews, talk shows, morning shows, appearances, it was all laid out. Thankfully it wasn't mostly going to start until after the new year.

"So Edward, we need to figure out who will be your escort to these premiers" Lauren said.

"Well, Lauren, maybe he wants the hot piece of ass that he has been fucking to be there have you thought about that?" Ari retorted punching me in the shoulder.

"There will be no escorts Lauren" I said strongly, my voice louder that I expected.

"There most certainly _will _be Edward" Lauren responded. "Nothing about you generates more press than when they are trying to link you with someone. Now if this B person is acceptable to be on your arm, then you can bring her, sometimes. Who is she Edward?"

Rage came over me at this point. _Who the fuck is she to talk to me about acceptable? _I thought. I jumped out of my seat, knocking it over and leaned over the table to put my face inches from Lauren's. "Listen to me Lauren, who she _is _is none of your fucking business. Who the fuck are you to judge _acceptable?_ She will NOT be joining me on any red carpets and neither will _anyone _else. This is fucking non-negotiable understand? If you insist upon being a bitch about it I wont show up or better yet, fire your ass for someone else who doesn't give me shit." I stood up now watching the shock register over her face crossing my arms impatiently.

"Edward, Edward, Edward, seriously, lets just take it down a level" Ari said in his best attempt at not to burst out into laughter. "Lauren is just being a snatch as usual. You can fuck who you want and walk by yourself, I don't give a shit, just keep the paydays coming in."

Lauren shot Ari a death stare and then waved her hand and said "whatever Edward", rolling her eyes.

"One other thing, my relationship with Bella to be kept OUT of the press, understand me? If I find out either of you has leaked a damn thing to the press, I'll walk. This is not about you or my career." I was yelling now. Ari looked stunned as he had never seen me react this way. _Fuck, I told them her name. Dammit. _

"Edward, what the fuck am I going to tell? That you are fucking some girl named Bella and she likes it? Everyone already knows that. Show up and look pretty, run your hands through that mane of hair you have, that is what the public wants. Do what you want on your own time, I could give a shit" Ari said.

Lauren was sitting there seething in anger. "Edward, you hired me to do a job, a job, which I will say, I'm damn good at. You know my advice to you, but if you don't want to go that direction, so be it. Don't blame me however when your press trails off."

"I could give a shit Lauren" I responded. _I should just fire the bitch, stupid fucking Rosalie for getting me to hire her in the first place. _

"Exactly Lauren, he could give a shit" Ari rose placing his hand on my shoulder. "Edward, lets get the fuck out of here and go get some lunch, Lauren has to clean the shit out of her pants, otherwise she'd be joining us."

I closed my eyes and exhaled. "Sure Ari, lets get lunch" and we turned and left Lauren who looked like she was about to explode.

We ate talking about everyone else in Hollywood other than me. Ari was such a freaking player he made me laugh. He knew pretty much everything about everyone.

"So I hear your sister is playing house with Chace Crawford?" he laughed. "I think he is a little too pretty for her."

"I haven't talked to Rose in over a month" I said.

"Well between you and me that is probably a good thing, your sister is a bit of a firecracker isn't she? Good thing she is so freaking gorgeous she can get away with it." Ari said.

Firecracker was Ari's nice way of calling her a bitch without offending me. "I will probably see her at Thanksgiving. I'll be going home to my parents for Thanksgiving."

"Tell Carlisle and Esme I said hello" he said. "Enjoy the time you have left before you start living in planes and hotels."

I took a deep breath. "Ari, if I wanted to bring Bella along with me to Europe, could you make sure that it was kept on the sly?"

Ari laughed. "Who is this woman Edward, seriously, she must have one hell of a pussy?"

I stiffened at his response. "Never mind" I said.

Sensing my wall go up, Ari clapped his hand on my shoulder, "Edward, Edward, seriously, okay, I'm sorry. I would make whatever happen for you that you needed me to. You know how to duck the press by now. Just tell me what you need and I'll get it for you. A happy Edward makes me money, so I'll do what it takes to make you happy. If that means sneaking this Bella across the world and hiding her in your bed, so be it."

"I'll let you know" I said standing up from the table. "I need to get home now and work on the music, I'm recording next weekend."

Ari stood up and gave me his best man hug. "See you later my man" and I turned and walked out of the restaurant.

When I got home it was 3 pm and I didn't know how I could wait another hour to talk to Bella. I couldn't focus on my guitar, or my piano, or any of the books I attempted to read. I was pacing now back and forth.

I heard my phone make a sound and picked it up to find a text message from Bella.

_E – am home now, call soon – B_

I smiled and immediately dialed her number.

**BPOV**

"Edward!" I said happily as I answered the phone. "I'm so glad you were out of your meeting, I couldn't wait until 7 to talk to you anymore."

He laughed on the other side of the phone. I wondered if he too was as equally as impatient as I was? "How was your day Bella?" he asked.

I paused for a second wondering how much I should reveal. "Well I slept in until one pm, so my morning was spent dreaming" I laughed. "I only woke up then because I got a flower delivery from one very sexy man I know, thank you Edward, they were beautiful!"

"They pale in comparison to exalting my sexual prowess in the press, but I'm glad you liked them" he laughed.

"Then, well" I said biting my lip. _Better to be honest, _I thought. "Well, I drove down to the Chesapeake to talk to James. It is sort of a thing I used to do, go there and sit on the dock and tell him about stuff or just be close to him."

"Oh, okay" Edward said, I could hear the sadness in his voice. I hit my head against the wall briefly wondering why I thought telling him would be a good idea.

"I think this is coming out wrong, but I needed to go there and tell James about you, about meeting you, about how I want to try to see where this thing between us will take us. I needed to tell him first Edward, even though I mean I think James already knew." I said.

"I understand" he said sincerely.

"So that was pretty much my day. It is a long drive there. Oh! I did talk to my mom for a bit, but I didn't really tell her about you" I said sheepishly. "I felt like I needed to tell James first if that makes ANY sense at all."

"Bella, don't worry about making sense to me, as long as you are at peace with it, I am fine with whatever you decide to tell people or not tell people." Edward said. "However I seem to be telling everyone who draws breath that I have come into contact with." He was laughing now.

"Oh really?" I teased. "Well go on then, tell me who?"

"Well in addition to Alice who I talked to yesterday, I talked with my parents today and talked about you a little bit" he started. I swallowed hard feeling guilty for not telling Renee earlier. "Then in Ari's office, I sort of went postal on Lauren when she sort of asked me who B was and in doing so only confirmed your existence to her. Then I asked Ari about getting you to Europe undetected. So, ummm, yeah, four out of four people today I've talked to, I blabbed about you to." He was laughing again. I had to admit it made me feel good that he told people about me. "I've apparently turned into a teenage girl."

"So how was your meeting?" I asked.

"Good, I'm going to be busy in the new year, I'll email you my schedule now and you can look it over and decide where you want to go in Europe." he responded.

"So you wont be traveling much then until after New Years?" I said hopefully.

"Hopefully I'll be traveling to see you" he said. I heard him take a deep breath as if preparing himself for something.

"So there is something I need to ask you, no pressure, no pressure" Edward started nervously. "But I am going home to visit my parents in Seattle for Thanksgiving and I was hoping that maybe you would come with me to meet my family." I heard him exhale after saying it. I felt so giddy at the thought that he wanted me there on a holiday.

"Edward that is perfect!" I exclaimed. "Charlie is going hunting that long weekend. Renee is with Phil in Florida, so I was planning on just inviting myself over my sister-in-law Angela's house or something, now I guess I wont have to!" I was so excited, Thanksgiving was less than a month away.

"Seriously? You are going to come!" he sounded so happy.

"Damn right I'm going to come!" I said.

"I'll book the ticket for you tonight then and I'll email you the itinerary, what day do you want to fly out?" he asked.

"Edward you don't need to pay for my ticket, I can pay for it!" I said.

"Bella, this is my treat okay. What day do you want to fly out and back?" he asked again.

I knew arguing with him was pointless as he is stubborn as a mule sometimes. "Umm, I can leave either Tuesday night after work or the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. I have off the Thursday and Friday, so I don't need to come home until Sunday." Five days! I thought.

"Wonderful, I'll book your ticket so you arrive after I do and then I'll wait for you and we'll go home together then" he said.

I was thinking about spending a holiday with a family again and I got so happy at the thought of it. Then another idea popped into my head and I decided to just go for it.

"On one condition though" I said.

"Which is?" he asked sounding concerned.

"That you stay here for Christmas" I blurted out holding my breath. I heard him smile over the phone.

"Deal" he laughed "You drive such a hard bargain Miss Swan."

"Your parents wont mind if I steal you for Christmas?" I asked him.

"After they meet you I think they will understand" he said back tenderly. "I can probably stay that whole week actually, come in on the 23rd and then stay past New Years. I know you have to work, but I'll get my people to send me with a bunch of scripts they are always wanting me to look at and so you can go to work and I'll bum around during the day."

My heart started beating faster at the thought of him being here for that long. "That would be amazing Edward, stay as long as you would like!" I said.

"I'll book that ticket for myself then too. Is there a local hotel that I can stay in?" He asked.

"Absolutely not Edward, you will be staying here with me of course! Don't be silly! I'll call my parents too to get them to come up for Christmas so they could meet you."

We were both giddy as teenagers making our plans. I had gotten Edward's itinerary and we decided to meet in New York City in between Thanksgiving and Christmas. He had something to do publicity related, but it was short and he would stay for the whole weekend. Then we would meet back in New York City over Martin Luther King weekend while he was there on the Friday before to appear on Regis and Kelly. He was going to be very busy that weekend with interviews and such so I considered inviting Angela up with me in order to keep me company. Edward thought that was a great idea as long as Angela didn't mind him stealing me at night.

Then as I poured over his European schedule I realized he was going to be gone for close to four weeks. So I decided I was going to ask at work tomorrow if I could telecommute from there for 2 weeks. I was able to easily work from my laptop and thought this could be a great solution. I could see Rome, Paris and London with him.

I was so happy about the way this was all coming together so seemingly easily. I was really filled with the sense that we could make this work. We talked on the phone for hours, so long I had to plug it in to charge it because it was going dead. We hung up full of excitement for the months that lay in front of us.

**EPOV**

I was in shock at how easily it all went on the phone. She seemed to be completely in sync with me with the travel arrangements. I immediately went onto the computer to book our flights. I could probably get her trips to New York paid for, but I would need to give them her name to book the flight and I didn't want to do that. I held off on the European trip until she consulted with her work.

I called my parents to let them know to expect her for Thanksgiving and they seemed completely excited to meet her as well. This was all working out better than expected and I just needed to be able to bide my time in between when I saw her. The press tour would probably make that easier because I would be so busy.

**BPOV**

I was back at work again. I was a lazy slug the day before, just basically sitting around and watching movies, catching up on my email and doing laundry. I had called my mom Renee and told her about Edward and Christmas. She was ecstatic over the prospect of a new man in my life and booked her tickets here while we were on the phone. I didn't happen to mention that he was Edward Cullen. In due time. I just said it was Edward. I was afraid as soon as she knew he was Edward Cullen that she would worry more, better almost to let her meet him first and see how much he meant to me.

Then I called my dad Charlie and asked him to come over for Christmas dinner. My dad lived in the next town over where he was the chief of police. I told him that I was going to be bringing my new friend Edward and I was hoping he would like to meet him. My dad was not ecstatic like Renee was of course. My father was very protective of me in his own right. He agreed of course because he needed to size up this Edward. Again I left out that he was Edward Cullen the famous Hollywood actor.

I had talked to Edward again last night for several hours before I went to bed. That seemed to be our routine, which was wonderful, the best way to end the day is to hear his voice.

My co-workers were happy to see me back. Many of them said they felt that the trip suited me because I seemed more relaxed and happy. When my boss called me into go over project time lines. I had discussed the time off I wanted for the time I was seeing Edward or he was coming here and that wasn't a problem, I still had some leave left. I had asked about taking a European trip with a friend and asked if I could work remotely. They agreed immediately, I couldn't wait to tell Edward! So I texted him.

_E – just talked to boss, can come to Europe for two weeks! Am so excited for you to show me the world! - B_

Work was a welcome distraction that week, it helped my days go by faster. Then at night after dinner, Edward would call and we would talk for hours before I went to sleep. I was growing more antsy about the party I was supposed to attend this weekend at my brother-in-law Eric's house to celebrate his birthday. I wasn't sure what if anything I should tell James' family. Eric's wife Angela was my best friend and so I knew I would have to tell her. Perhaps I would tell her first and then see what she thought I should do about the rest of them.

Saturday was here before I knew it and I was shaking when I pulled up to their house. I had talked to Edward earlier that day and he assured me to just do what came to me naturally and my instinct wouldn't let me down. He was being so completely understanding about everything.

I walked in the house and spotted Angela immediately and handed her some wine and the appetizer I had made.

"Bella!" she responded hugging me "How was Los Angeles?" I noticed Eric coming over to hear my response as well as my father-in-law Martin.

_Deep breaths Bella, deep breaths. Follow your instinct. _I thought. My instinct was telling me that now was not the time. "It was very relaxing and I really felt like I could unwind there a bit" I said. My mother-in-law Jennifer was rubbing my back now.

"That is wonderful dear" Jennifer said. "I am so glad you had some time to get away, you look very well."

"Thanks, here let me put this out on the table" I said grabbing my appetizer from the table where Angela had put it down and going into the dining room.

A minute later Angela grabbed me and pulled me into the study. "So, spill!" she said.

"Spill what Angela?" I shifted nervously.

"Oh so this is how it is going to be?" she laughed. I knew she knew something but I had no idea what. She walked over to her computer and pulled up a site we often did our celebrity watching on. She had the page bookmarked. It was Edward in the iPhone store and in this photo, I was next to him holding his arm talking to him. _Holy freaking shit_, I thought. This must have been taken right as he was first spotted.

"Don't even think about lying to me Bella Swan because I know that is you standing there talking to EDWARD FREAKING CULLEN" she squealed squeezing my arm. "And I want freaking DETAILS!"

My tension eased off of me and I smiled grabbing her arm back pulling her back into the room so no one else could hear. "Oh my God Angela, I met him my first night there! He is AMAZING in every way. We spent almost the entire two weeks together while I was out there. He is like such a wonderful man, he is so romantic and thoughtful. He will be coming to DC on Friday to see me again." It was all pouring out of me so fast with so much excitement. I had been dying to talk to someone about this and I couldn't hold it in anymore.

Angela stood there mouth agape. "Wait a minute, so you didn't just meet him in an iPhone store and say hello? You freaking spend the better part of two weeks with EDWARD CULLEN? Tell me you are not freaking joking here!" she squealed.

I grabbed both her arms and bounced up and down. "I'm not freaking joking Angela, I really like him." _I am in love with him, _I thought.

Her arms grabbed me back and pulled me into a hug. "Why are we here?" she exclaimed looking around wishing we were in a more private location. "Tomorrow night, I'm coming over, you bring the wine, I'll bring the videos, expect to tell me every last detail."

I hugged her back tightly "Thank you Angela, I was so worried how you would react."

"Bella, I've been so worried about you. I know Eric will understand. I think Martin and Jennifer will too. I mean once they get over the shell shock that you have the hottest guy in Hollywood and are like totally smitten with him!" she responded. "Let me tell Eric and maybe he can talk to his parents. I'll tell him tomorrow after we had our movie night okay?"

"Sounds good to me" I said. _Edward was right about following my instincts. _I excused myself to the bathroom and sent Edward another text.

_E – told Angela, she is coming over tomorrow to get me drunk so I will spill all of the details. She is excited for us. - B_

As I was outside talking with Eric I felt my phone vibrate and I checked the message back.

_B – if I could only be a fly on the wall, happy for you – E_

I must have had a big goofy grin on my face because Eric interrupted me with "Who are you talking to big sister?" and grabbed the phone from me. He looked at the screen and said "So who is this mysterious E that has you smiling like a Cheshire cat?" Angela came over at hearing this and said "I'll tell you tomorrow after I have all of the details" to him. Angela took Eric by the arm and let him away.

The next day she was at my house at 4 pm, bubbling with excitement. She had 2 movies in her hands, _Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire _and _Moonlight. _I took them from her and swatted her with them. "You know I own these movies!" I giggled.

"Yes, but the affect wasn't nearly as cool as my bringing them with!" Angela laughed.

I opened the wine and poured my heart out to Angela about every detail. Down to going to the dock and telling James. She was the only person that knew about my going there. She was crying by the time I finished.

"Bella, I'm just so happy for you. He sounds wonderful. I mean listening to you talk about him, he doesn't sound like some huge Hollywood Star, he sounds like just a normal man". Angela said.

"He is a normal man Angela. He just has a job that makes him very famous. I think the reason we were so drawn to each other is because we both had become very adept at hiding how alone we felt from the world" I said.

"Do you worry though, with all of the women and like the press?" Angela asked. The image of Tanya came into my head at that moment. I swallowed hard. "Honestly, I haven't really thought about it much since that first night. Edward doesn't strike me as the type to betray me and I hope that I am not wrong about that".

"Are you going to go to the premieres and stuff with him?" she asked. "I mean maybe you could get to do a shopping spree like Pretty Woman!"

I laughed. "I don't think Edward wants to go public with us just yet. I think he is afraid about what would happen to me in the press if he did so."

"I guess I can understand that" Angela said. "Now lets get to watching this man of yours!" She popped in the DVD of Moonlight.

A few minutes into the movie she gasped out loud and covered her mouth. "OH. MY. GOD., you are B aren't you?"

I turned about six shades of red. She grabbed my hands and said "Four times? In one night?"

I turned more shades of red and looked away putting my face in my hands and making a loud squealing sound. She was shaking me now. "Okay, you don't have to tell me about your sex life, but you DO have to tell me what the tattoo is!"

Her happiness was apparent and it made me happy. We talked and drank all night long, briefly pausing to enjoy watching Edward in high definition being super sexy on screen.

I called Edward when she left.

**EPOV**

"How was girls night?" I said when I answered the phone.

"It was great, I think I've had too much wine" she said. "She figured out I was the mysterious B thought. She forced me to describe your tattoo" I laughed out loud when she said that.

"So she did ask me something I was wondering about myself" she asked. I could tell by her tone that she was worried about asking me about it. "She asked if I would ever attend any of the premieres with you?".

"I don't think that would be a good idea Bella. Believe me, it isn't because I wouldn't want you there by my side. To show the world how much I love you. I only fear that if they know that you exist that they will start hounding you and I just don't want that for you." I said. I hope she would understand why I feel this way.

"I know, I know, but " she cut herself off.

"But what Bella?" I asked.

"Well can I ask you one favor?" she asked.

"You can ask me anything Bella" I said.

"Can you promise me not to go to the premieres with anyone else either then? I know it is just pretend and I know it shouldn't bother me but" I cut her off right there.

"Bella, what do you think Lauren and I were arguing about that day in Ari's office? I told her under no uncertain terms will I be escorting anyone down the red carpet." I told her.

"Oh, okay, well, as usual you are two steps ahead of me!" she laughed. "It isn't as if I don't trust you Edward" I cut her off again.

"Bella, I wouldn't want to see some picture of some man on your arm even if it was just pretend. The thought of it makes me want to punch something" I said. "If and when we go public, I'll bring you everywhere with me Bella. I just want to try to wait for that as long as possible."

We didn't talk as long tonight because I knew she was tired and needed to get up in the morning for work. Only 5 more days. I was really going out of my mind without her. All day long I basically tried to distract myself from calling her or just hopping on a plane to be with her. I missed her so very much.

I think she was better at distracting herself than I was. I guess the job and friends sort of helped with that. This weekend was better because I had spent most of the day in the studio recording songs. I needed to find better distractions. Tomorrow I was going to go clothes shopping, I needed some new stuff for the tour and some warmer clothes for being in DC and then home and in New York. Tuesday I set up a lunch with Emmett. Wednesday decided to break down and set up a lunch with Rosalie. If anyone could occupy my day it would be her telling me about all the things about her. Thursday I would finish up everything else I've been putting off doing.

The distractions proved to me working. I had less pacing time or staring at my phone or going through her photos for the hundredth time on facebook. Lunch with Rosalie even went well for a change. I think Alice must have told her about Bella and she was looking forward to meeting her, which really surprised me to hear. I guess maybe since Bella is not in Hollywood, she isn't competition for Rosalie. Even asking me what my flight was so she could book the same one. It was nice. I would spend my nights talking with Bella for hours. Her scent was fading from my pillow so I missed her more and more every night. My thoughts filled with every bit of her as I tried to fall asleep.

Friday was here before I knew it. I was so excited to get on the plane I left the house hours too early. The great things about airports is that once you go through security, you don't have to deal with the paparazzi because they can't come through. I sat in the VIP club waiting for them to call my flight almost jumping out of my skin with excitement.

**BPOV**

I couldn't concentrate at work at all today. He was on his way here! I just couldn't wait. I was going to leave the second I got off work, I had my stuff all packed.

Angela had called me twice already telling me to have fun. She had a long talk with Eric and she said that he seemed happy for me once he got over the initial brotherly response of being worried about Edward's fame. He was going to bring it up with his parents at some point.

I couldn't focus on a darn thing and I didn't know how I was going to make it until 5 o'clock!

When I got his text that he had landed, I knew I couldn't wait another 2 hours to leave and I asked to take off early and then ran down to my car to drive to DC. _Ninety more minutes and I'd be with him!_

**EPOV**

The flight seemed like an eternity. Even worse because the woman next to me recognized me and spent the entirety of it bothering me for details to give her granddaughters. I kept bouncing my knee up and down in nervous excitement. Finally the plane landed and I sent Bella a message telling her I was in DC and on my way to the hotel.

As I grabbed a taxi, I heard my phone go off again.

_E – can't wait anymore, am on my way to you, see you in 90 min – B_

I smiled at the idea that she was just as excited to see me as I was her. My stomach was full of butterflies at the thought of taking her in my arms again. I checked into the hotel and I told them to expect Bella and to send her up as soon as she got there.

I took a quick shower to get the grime of the flight off of me. I dressed in a t-shirt and pajama pants. _Easier to get out of, _I thought. I put the candles I asked for in the rooms where I wanted them and lit them. I went through my bag and found the condoms and put them in the bedroom. I put the champagne on ice and got out the two glasses

I spent the rest of the time pacing back and forth in the room waiting for her to show up. I perked up every time I thought I heard the door. My mind was racing with the excitement of holding her again, feeling her lips against mine, feeling her touch against my skin. I had been rock hard for an hour now waiting for her. Thinking of all of the things I wanted to do when I saw her again.

I heard the card in the door and it opened with my beautiful Bella smiling at me. She was a vision, her hair cascading over her shoulders, the way her eyes were sparkling to see me, the smile on her face, I had missed her so much. She looked so sexy in her business attire with her work jacket, her button down silk blouse, her knee length skirt and high heels. I was taking in every inch of her.

She shut the door and said "Edward I've missed you so much" and in two long strides I was across the room taking her in my arms. She dropped her bags to take me in hers.

"We've had two weeks to talk, the time for talk is over" I said forcefully crushing my mouth against hers, pushing her up against the door. My body was on fire with my need to kiss her and feel her close to me. The urgency in her kisses told me she had the same needs as I did. I was pulling at her jacket to get it off of her. I was kissing her with deep passionate kisses. I picked her up in my arms and carried her to the bedroom.

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a/n: see, told you it was long! I needed to go through a few things here, having them talk to their parents, having Bella tell her best friend about Edward, having Edward set down the rules to Lauren and Ari about Bella. Just a lot of filler to take up their two weeks apart. I felt it was all needed to have in the chapter, but as you can see I didn't split it up because I know everyone else wants what I want and that is them together again (at least for a weekend).

a/n2: I probably wont update again this weekend, maybe, I'll have to see. I have a lot of things going on and it is a long weekend. I'm guessing Tuesday will be the next chapter? I haven't even started writing it. I have other chapters in the future written and then I go back and fill in what I need to get me from A to B. (or from Edward to Bella really).

a/n3: Reviews!!! I love reviews!!! They are like crack to me. Reviews make me want to write more lemony goodness bedroom scenes...


	23. Chapter 23

**a/n: Time for some thank yous. Thank you to my friend S, the woman who got me addicted to fanfiction. The woman who I sent this to and she encouraged me to post it to see where it went. The woman who spends at least one commute a week listening to me bounce ideas off of her. The woman who reads these chapters first and lets me know where I've messed up POV or what seems off or wrong. She isn't a Beta or anything, she is a scientist, so she isn't good at the grammar errors or punctuation problems (which I know are numerous and likely annoying, but it is what it is. I am a physical therapist, not a writer.) Without her this story wouldn't be here or half as good because she sometimes can help me get from one part to the next. Thanks for giving what I think has probably been hours of your time for this.  
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**a/n2: Thank you to those of you who review, especially the ones who have reviewed multiple chapters. I continue writing this because knowing you are enjoying it makes me want to keep writing it. Keep reviewing! Your reviews are what makes me stay up late to type chapters after my kids have gone to bed.  
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**a/n3: DISCLAMIERS: This chapter is GRAPHIC. Mature language, mature scenes and LEMONS LEMONS LEMONS. (Did you really expect anything else? Hello, it has been two weeks! I am a great many things, a tease isn't one of them.) The end contains some non-lemony stuff, but honestly I didn't want to split it out for skipability because it belonged here. If you want to skip the lemons, go down to the last EPOV and then scroll down about half way.  
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**The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, I'm just borrowing them in my happy fantasy land.**

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**BPOV**

I driving way too fast to get to the hotel. I just couldn't wait to see him again. My mind kept drifting off to thinking about how it would feel to hold in my arms again. To feel his kisses on my body. I had remembered back to our last night together so many times, but with the reality of knowing I was going to be with him again in a few hours, made me so aroused just thinking about it. This wasn't helping with the driving way too fast.

I got to the hotel and went to the front desk. Edward told me they were expecting me, they haded me a room key when I gave them my name and I went immediately to the elevator. I was shaking I was so excited to see him again. I fumbled with the key in the door.

I opened the door and I saw him waiting for me. He looked so amazing, he had changed into a t-shirt and pajama pants already, his hair was still partially wet from taking a shower. There were candles all on the bar that were lit and waiting. He stood there staring at me for a brief moment with a smile on his face.

"Edward I've missed you so much" I said. He quickly was to me and took me in his arms. I threw my bags down on the floor my heart beating out of my chest.

"We've had two weeks to talk, the time for talk is over" he said urgently kissing my mouth pushing me back into the door. I could feel the same urgency surging through my body. He was fumbling to take off my jacket, kissing me all over my neck.

He picked me up and carried me to the bedroom. There were more candles all over the dresser and the nightstands. He sat me down on the bed crawled next to me, never breaking his kiss. I easily slid his t-shirt off of him. He was fumbling with the buttons on my shirt. He couldn't seem to be able to get them open. "Fuck" he growled and then just ripped my shirt open. "I'll buy you a new one". The surge of arousal that ripped through me when he did that was almost enough to make me climax.

His lips and hands trailed down to my breasts, he was grabbing at them roughly, nipping at them with his teeth over my bra. He reached behind my back and unhooked my bra in one swift motion, throwing it away from me. He grabbed at my breasts and brought them hungrily again into his mouth. I had never seen Edward like this. I thought that night at his house he was sexy, but it was nothing compared to knowing how very badly he wanted me now and how forceful he was being about it. Soft low moans were coming out of his mouth in regular intervals.

I reached down my hand to feel how aroused he was over his pants. He moaned louder as I touched him. "I've missed you so much Bella" he whispered breathlessly. I could feel my panties were completely soaked at this point between my fantasizing the entire car ride and how passionate Edward was being right now.

I pushed him back and pulled off his pajama pants and boxers together, planting urgent kisses along the way as I slid them off. He unzipped the back of my skirt and pulled it off along with my panties. He reached his hand down to my center, I shivered underneath his hands when they parted me, running urgently between my lips and up to my sensitive spot and back down again. "Edward, I can't wait anymore" I begged.

He immediately grabbed a condom off of the nightstand and quickly put it on. He pushed me backwards onto the bed and entered me deeply in a single fluid movement. I groaned loudly at how amazing he felt inside of me so deeply. I was lifting my body to bring him deeper inside of me and he in turn would thrust himself harder into me. We continued matching each thrust in a perfect rhythm.

The passion washed over me and I grabbed the sheets and started moaning his name louder and louder. I was shaking from head to toe bursting with my climax. He started groaning louder and shuddered on top of me thrusting deep into me one final time.

I tried to catch my breath as he rolled next to me. I was still running my hands over his body that was slick with sweat and lust. "Bella I have missed you so much, you were simply amazing."

I rolled back on top of him kissing him still. "Amazing doesn't begin to cover it, you've been holding out on me!"

"Love I have been thinking of you every moment both asleep and awake for two weeks, if I didn't have you right then and there, I was going to explode without you even touching me."

"Welcome home Edward."

We laid there for a while just running our hands up and down each others bodies, kissing each other. Talking about how happy we were to be together. I was so completely content with him by my side. Everything felt so right.

My stomach deceived me by growling loudly, I was too excited to eat lunch and so now I was starving. "Lets get you something to eat Bella" he said getting up, "We have to keep up your strength for this long weekend."

**EPOV**

As I started coming down off of the high of the amazing sex I had just had, I was a bit in shock at how rough I was with Bella. I had no idea what came over me when I saw her, but whatever that was didn't let up until after I had taken her. _I can't believe I ripped open her shirt, _I thought feeling guilty.

"I'm so sorry about your shirt" I said. "I don't know what came over me. I hope I didn't hurt you."

She looked at me and smiled her sexy smile and then whispered into my ear "I thought that was so fucking hot you have no idea" then she nibbled a bit on my ear lobe. I could feel myself stiffening again at the feel of her hot breath on my neck and then I remembered her growling stomach.

"We need to eat" I said. I tossed her my t-shirt at the bottom of the bed and grabbed the menu and threw it to her as I went into the bathroom to clean up.

I heard her yell to me "I'm feeling extra carnivorous right now, so I'm thinking buffalo wings and like nachos."

"Sounds perfect" I laughed, "go ahead and call it in". I laughed to myself thinking how refreshing it was not to hear a woman order a salad with dressing on the side and then know she is going to barf it up later.

I came back out and slipped on my pajama pants. "Good thinking on your part, saving me from having to rip off your shirt" she said tugging at my shirt she was wearing.

I smiled at her "That can be arranged if you would like to rip something off of me sometime". She smiled back at me seductively crawling towards the edge of the bed to give me another kiss.

_Amazing, simply amazing, _I thought.

The food came quickly and we sat on the floor in the living area next to the coffee table eating our food. I made her promise not to bathe me in nachos this time. Tiramisu is one thing, nachos is quite another.

"How was your flight?"

"About 6 hours too long" I laughed. "The woman I sat next to talked to me non-stop practically, all I wanted to do was close my eyes and dream about you."

"Well I obviously had no self control" she laughed. "When you texted me that you landed, I just left work because I couldn't take it anymore."

"I for one and glad you did, I don't know if I could have waited another two hours to see you."

"I could see that" she said kissing me deeply. "As much as I hate not seeing you for two weeks, I think the way you took me made up for it."

I felt my face grow hot with slight embarrassment. "I swear Bella, I had no intention of actually ripping your clothes off of you, I couldn't get the buttons undone! As far as the rest of it goes, I don't know who that was in there, but I think Edward checked out the minute he laid eyes on you."

She climbed onto my lap straddling me with her legs. Instinctively my hands slid over her perfect ass pulling her closer into me. "Well then, I guess we have to tell Edward to check out more often" she said nuzzling her face into my neck. Two passes of her grinding her pelvis into mine was all it took for Edward to check out again.

**BPOV**

_I think Edward isn't the only one who is checking out, _I thought. We were laying in the middle of the floor in the living area naked and panting again recovering from our respective orgasms. "At the rate we are going I doubt I'll be able to walk for a week" I joked.

"I promise I'll bring you plenty of food and water in bed as you recover."

"Save the water for yourself as you will have lost too much bodily fluids at that point."

Edward laid there locking his eyes on mine, the faintest glimpse of a smile on his lips. "Tell me what you are thinking" I said wanting to know what the smile meant.

"I think you are the most beautiful woman I have ever known. Your physical beauty is of course obvious, but your inner beauty is even more radiant."

I blushed "I really don't think there is anything extraordinary about me."

"And you would be dead wrong." He was caressing my face now with his hand, never breaking his eyes from mine. "Bella, no one has ever made me feel this way, I have never paced a room waiting for the phone to ring, or for the clock to hit 4 pm so I can dial your number or to hear a key in the door. Don't even get me started on the amazing sex."

"Oh, please, get started" I teased.

"I have never wanted a woman more than I have wanted you. I have never let myself go as I have tonight, I was so filled with that need to have you, I let everything else go. That need to have you stems from the way you make me feel when I am with you. In and out of bed, or the kitchen, or, well, the living area floor." His eyes sparkled when he laughed as he said this.

"I have a confession to make" I said biting my lower lip. "Don't laugh!"

He sat up intrigued. "Promise."

I sat up to face him. "I have never been able to climax during sex before without some other sort of, you know, manual stimulation" I said quickly with my hands over my face.

"Seriously?" he smiling wider.

"Seriously. After that first time we were together, I was simply amazed, I had always assumed that it was some myth that was made up by the porn industry or something. Until I met you. My own personal myth buster."

"It was my pleasure." Edward leaned in for another kiss.

"No I believe it was mine" I giggled. "And since I'm in the confessional right now, I'm freaking freezing to death on this cold floor."

He stood up and took my hand. "I'd say get dressed, but I'd probably just ruin another one of your shirts, but at the very least I'll get a blanket for you and get you off the floor."

"Well, actually I caught a glimpse of that big soaking tub in there and I was thinking we could warm up that way."

"Your wish is my command love." Edward pulled my hand as we walked into the bathroom, grabbing the bottle of champagne and the glasses on the way.

"I don't think I've been in the tub with someone since I was a little boy" he laughed as he massaged my feet under the water. His hands felt so strong kneading into me. We had finished off one bottle of champagne and were almost done another, I poured the last bits left into our glasses.

"So we are still in the confessional okay?" I started. "Your turn to confess something." The liquid courage was rising in me. I had some questions that I wanted to know the answer to.

"What is it you want me to confess?" he asked.

"What is your favorite position?"

He smiled broadly. "I like it when you take control. My turn now to ask a question." He reached out and pulled me closer to him. "What is it that I do that drives you wild"

"Everything."

"Be specific. Pick one thing."

The thoughts of all of the things he did came into my mind. "It drives me wild when you suck on my nipples." The champagne was causing my mouth brain connection to have no filter.

"Like this" as his head came down and he played with my now stiffening nipples with his tongue and then pulled it gently into his mouth and sucked. I threw my head back and let out a soft moan. "Like that. My turn."

He was still showering attention onto my breasts. One hand was twisting a nipple softly between his fingers, his mouth showing attention to the other. "Name something you want to try that we haven't done?"

"I want to taste you" he hummed barely letting up his playing. "My turn. Name one place you want to have me?"

My arousal was growing more with his attention to my breasts. I decided that turnabout was fair play and reached under the water to stroke his growing erection. "When I came in tonight, I was hoping you would take me right there against the front door. My turn."

His breathing was getting more rapid with my hand gently surrounding his erection slowly making my way up and down. His free hand had slipped down beneath the water and was gently circling my sensitive bud. "Tell me something I haven't done yet that you fantasize about?" I asked.

My grip was tightening around him as he slipped a finger inside of me. "I want to watch you please yourself. My turn." Edward said, his finger was working in and out of me with more urgency. A second one joined the first and I bucked my hips in pleasure as my strokes sped up on him.

"Tell me what you want me to do right now?"

"Taste me" I groaned. He stood up and grabbed a towel and helped me out of the tub. He quickly dried me off and then led me into the bedroom.

He returned his attention to my nipples again as he laid me down on the bed. Then slowly started to trail them downwards leaving a trail of heat as he went. He spread me apart with his fingers and slowly ran is tongue up my part to my sensitive spot. The sensation caused me to catch my breath. I could feel his tongue flicking me as he slowly entered me with his fingers. He continued his pace slowly and carefully as each pass caused me to come closer and closer to rapture.

I was making high pitched moans as I felt my climax building inside of me, raising and lowering my hips to match his pace. He quickened his pace, his tongue and fingers working together and I moaned loudly as my orgasm traveled through me. He didn't let up his attention as I shuddered beneath him, making me buck my hips wildly. The sensation was so intense that I tried to move away and he moved with me, never letting up, continuing his pace of tongue and fingers working in unison. I was whimpering loudly now, grabbing fistfuls of sheets in my hands, I could feel the pressure once again building inside of me, more strongly than before. When the pressure broke again I was screaming his name so loudly I had to put a pillow over my face to stop from alerting the hotel management.

He let up this time and was placing kisses on the inside of my thighs, then working back up to my stomach. I was trying to catch my breath, pillow still over my face. "My turn."

**EPOV**

"My turn." She said as she pulled the pillow from over her face. She reached over to the table and grabbed another condom, as she was putting it on me she asked "How do you want me?"

"On top, facing the mirror."

I moved the pillows so I could get a good view. She straddled me and then guided me inside of her. She was moving up and down slowly. My hands were holding onto her hips. Watching her slowly ride me was unbelievably sexy. "My turn" I said.

"Tell me how you feel?"

"Oh Edward you feel so incredible. I want to take in all of you to feel you deep inside of me, you feel like you fit so perfectly right here, I want to feel every inch of you." she groaned. "My turn."

"Tell me what you want to see? Tell me what to do and I'll do it."

"I want you to feel your breasts" I demanded. Her hands slowly trailed up to her breasts and she cupped them underneath.

"Just like that, now roll your nipples in between your fingers for me."

She grabbed each nipple between her fingers and began to roll them, throwing her head back as she did so. My hands were guiding her hips to pick up her pace, watching her intently in the mirror.

"You look so hot right now Bella, now, I want you to trail your hand down and play with yourself while you take me" I panted.

One of her hands stayed on her nipple and the other trailed down rubbing herself in a circular motion. Her pace quickened again on top of me I knew I wasn't going to last much longer as the pressure was building inside of me.

"You look so fucking sexy Bella. You feel so fucking good." I could feel her fingers skimming my base as she worked herself over. The sight of her riding me while pleasing herself was just too much to bear and I felt the waves of pleasure riding through me. "Oh God Bella, don't stop, don't stop until you come for me" I moaned loudly as she kept milking every drop of cum out of me. I felt her tightening and releasing around me as she whimpered in pleasure. She moved off me and fell to the bed in exhaustion.

"Oh my God" she said breathless. "I don't know what affect you have on me, but I have never ever done anything like that before in my life. Did you spike the champagne or something?"

I pulled her body closer to mine. "That was the hottest thing I have ever seen. I will see you in my dreams like that forever."

I was staring into her eyes and just breathing in her smile.

"Bella, it is my turn." I said smiling. "Is five times a record for you?"

"Just beating my old record of four that was set only two weeks ago." she laughed. "My turn."

"How did you manage to control yourself those first two weeks?"

I put my head in the pillow and groaned. "Remember my daily showers? If it weren't for them, there would have been no way I could have lasted."

She swatted me with her hand. "You cheated! No wonder you were so hard to seduce!"

"Believe me love, even with that by that last night there was no stopping me. My turn." I thought the line of questioning here was changing and I wanted to ask things that were more serious.

"Are you glad we waited until our last night?"

"Yes" she said moving a bit of hair from my face. "By then I knew I was falling in love with you and I absolutely knew it was right. I had no regrets. My turn."

"Have you ever been in love before?"

"Not even close." I said. "No where in the vicinity of love. This is all new for me Bella. My heart is yours now. My turn."

"Do I make you happy?"

"Most definitely. I don't think I've been able to keep the smile off my face for a month now. Everyone noticed when I came home, everyone could see I was different." She said smiling. "My turn."

"Does it ever bother you that I was married before?"

"I'd be lying if I don't wonder sometimes if I can ever be to you what he was. If you could ever love me as you loved him. I wouldn't say it bothers me, but rather I worry that I wont live up to his memory and as such that will make you always feel like something is missing between us."

"Oh Edward" she said stroking my face. "This is just different. With James we sort of grew into our relationship. There wasn't the same draw and spark between us as with you and me. It was more we started dating, we liked each other, we never got sick of each other and it grew into love. Obviously I pledged my life to him in marriage, so I loved him very much, but it was different with him. I never was this forward with him, either emotionally or sexually. We just were. I could have never pictured myself lying next to him like this just being so raw and open. Never worry about living up to his memory Edward, because his memory is nothing like you and I mean that in a good way."

"My turn" I said smiling. "When you think about your future, do you see me as a part of it?"

"I can't imagine my life without you Edward. Nor do I want to. You are going to be stuck with me Edward, like it or not. My turn." I smiled at her answer, I couldn't think of a better person to be stuck with.

"Do you think your family will like me?"

"Alice will adore you. The two of you will band together and gang up on me. Guaranteed. My parents will love you, both for the woman that you are and for how they will have seen me changed. Rosalie, I'm not sure. I think she will like you, but almost not show it because that would mean somehow letting up on me. My turn."

"Do you think your family will like me?"

"Renee will adore you, probably from the first moment she sees us together. Charlie is sort of the overprotective dad, so he will grow to like you as he sees how happy I am. It took him a while before I stopped seeing him as papa bear with James. I imagine with you it may even be worse because of your career path. Even though Angela and Eric are not related to be by blood, I consider them to be family. I think they will love you. I know Angela will, but I think you and Eric would get along well. I have no idea how Martin and Jennifer will react. I think they will be happy for me, but they will also be sad because they will feel that much further from their son. My turn."

"Do you ever want children?"

"I have never really thought about it if I'm being honest. I'm not adverse to them per say, I mean I know I don't want one now. I guess I sort of see it as something that I will decide when the time comes and let my instinct guide me. My turn."

"Do you see yourself ever being able to live in LA?"

"I think if your career stays on the path it is now, that is where I would have to be in order to be with you. LA, wherever you are shooting a film and tagging along on your press tours. I mean it isn't something I want to rush into just yet. However when I have thought about where this is going to end up if we are together, it almost always ends with my giving up my life here and being with you."

"Does that bother you?" I asked.

"No, not really. I mean lets face it, your career can't be based here in Pennsylvania. Without kids in the equation, I see no reason not to be with you on a shoot or on a tour. I mean, that is, once we are out in the public. As I said before, when I think of my future, you are in it. You are an actor and as such I have to sort of go with your flow. It would be impossible for you to live here and film movies or whatever."

"I would never ask you to give up your life for me" I said. "I have to say that is my fear, about where this all will end up, how we will make it work."

She stroked my hand. "I know you wouldn't, but I would still do it. You would never need to ask me, because it would be what I wanted. We would make it work, we will find a way. My turn."

"Does it bother you to sit there with the condom still on?" she laughed.

"It certainly is rather uncomfortable, but I find it sort of a mood killer to get up and run into the bathroom." I laughed back. "My turn."

"Does it bother you for me to sit here with the condom on?"

She laughed again. "I'd be lying if I said that I didn't shudder a bit when I feel it cold against me when you move." I went to get up and go to the bathroom and she grabbed my arm. "Don't go yet. My turn."

"Would you object if I went back on the pill?"

"Bella, I'd never ask you to do that. I am perfectly fine with this."

"I know you would never ask Edward. I'm just asking if you object to it, you haven't answered my question."

"Umm, lets see, not having to stop the moment to get it and put it on. Being able to feel you, truly feel you, around me. No, if that is what you wanted, I most certainly wouldn't object. I don't want you to do this for me Bella though. I only want you to do this for you."

"I couldn't agree more with the not wanting to stop the moment. Or the feeling of you inside me. I've been thinking about it since I left LA, but I wanted to ask you first. I'll go see my doctor this week, I'm due, so I can go on it at the end of my cycle. We would have to wait a month after that and, well, I mean, I think, well, I think you should get tested" she said nervously.

"Absolutely." I said. "I will do it when I get home. There are plenty of discreet ways to get tested."

"So you aren't mad?"

"Why would I be mad Bella?"

"At my asking you to be tested?"

"Bella, I would be mad if you didn't ask me. I've always been careful, but I would never want to put you at risk for anything."

"I will get tested as well when I am at the doctor."

"I don't think that is necessary love."

"While I think it is highly unlikely that I have anything given the fact I was married, I don't know for sure and I think it is only right if I get tested as well."

"If that is what you want to do. I'll go clean up after one more question from each of us." I laughed. "My turn."

"Those two weeks we were together, you never, took care of business?" I motioned with a finger in between her legs.

"NO! I was too afraid that you would walk in on me and would know!" she swatted at me again.

"In the two weeks since?" I asked mischievously.

"You asked your question mister, it is MY turn now" she said tickling me now.

"I'll take that as a yes." I said tickling her back. "So fucking hot."

"Down boy, I really don't think I can go another round tonight. It is my turn dammit" she continued. "This is important." Her face went serious now.

"Is there any way you can stay past Sunday? Because I just don't see how I can let you go on Sunday, you just got here."

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a/n: well Edward and Bella are certainly getting a bit more comfortable aren't they? The champagne didn't hurt, or the two weeks apart.

a/n2: I can assure you that while everything seems to be completely perfect, it wont be perfect forever, there will be some angst and it is coming sooner rather than later. I do believe that most great relationships start off with this level of butterflies and perfection, and then it is how they deal with the curveballs within their relationship that defines if it is a great love story or just a hot fling you think back on with a smile.

a/n3: YOUR TURN! leave me reviews people!


	24. Chapter 24

**a/n: Sorry this took me so long! I must have revised it at least 4 times, it ended up being completely different than what it originally was. The other reason it took longer was that the glorious Miss starfish has taken on the role of my beta! This will only benefit the story in the long run. I know I am lacking in grammar and writing skills, so having someone help me out in this arena can only be a good thing. A great big thank you to Starfish! You rule. **

**a/n2: Thank you again to all of you who review my story. Honestly I just appreciate the feedback so very very much. You don't know how much I light up when I check my email and see them waiting for me. Since I published the last chapter I passed the 10,000 hits mark and the 100 reviews mark and I just can't even tell you what it means to me.  
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**a/n3: I am a technological moron, and I just figured out how to rename the chapters (so I can give them names), so I may go back and rename some of them or all of them. If you have any suggestions about what they could be, pm me! I often have songs that I listen to over and over again that inspire me for the chapter and I'll add them into the end credits.  
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**The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, I'm just borrowing them in my happy fantasy land.**

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**BPOV**

"Is there any way you can stay past Sunday? Because I just don't see how I can let you go on Sunday, you just got here." I held my breath after I said this. As with almost every other response I have given tonight, this one came out of my mouth without thinking about it first. I saw his forehead crinkle a bit as he was taking in my question and this intense fear crept all around me. _Why would you ask this Bella!_ I thought. _What if he says no?_

"Well I have two things I can't get out of on Monday." My heart fell. I was so stupid for asking such a thing. _As if he would drop everything for me_. "I would if I could Bella, but people are flying in and I have to be there." He took my hands in his. "However, I can rearrange everything else until I get back from Thanksgiving, so I think I can fly back out on Monday night or Tuesday morning. I will call tomorrow about switching my flight to Seattle to fly out with you instead. Does that work for you?" It took a moment for his words to sink in. Elation washed over me as I realized that his reaction was trying to figure out what his schedule was and how to change it for me.

"You would do that for me?" I said, throwing myself into his arms.

"I would do anything for you Bella." His arms gripped me tightly as I started showering his face with kisses.

"This is too much though, Edward! That's 12 hours on a plane in less than two days! Plus, I'm going to have to work every day. I didn't really think about any of this when I asked," I said, pulling back from my embrace on him.

"Love, you let me worry about what is too much for me. I can keep myself busy while you work. I assume, then, that I will be staying at your house and I don't need to talk to the hotel about extending our stay?"

"Yes, we will stay at my house, although I will warn you it is nothing special."

"That is simply not possible."

I looked at him with a confused look on my face. My house wasn't anything special; it was perfectly average at best.

"Bella, everything about you is special to me. Your house will be no exception."

"Well, I know I won't have time to miss you because I'll be frantically cleaning from the time you leave until the time you arrive back again."

"Bella, you should know something. My apartment was a complete show when I met you in LA. I had my assistant hire cleaning people and help me buy the food and such, to even get it ready for you. That was where I disappeared to, on the day you spent with Jasper and Emmett. Therefore - unless there is an insect colony making its home in your pantry, nothing could be worse than what I lived in day to day." He was laughing now. "Don't go overboard on my account."

"Hi, I'm Bella, I don't believe we have met" I extended my hand to him. "I am the very essence of going overboard, in case you didn't notice from you know the whole 'hey, I just met you and let me spend two weeks surgically attached to your hip'. Or 'let me spend close to a thousand dollars on a dress and shoes so I can get you to take them off of me'. Or the 'let me beg you about 5 hours after you arrive to stay for longer.'"

He grabbed my hand and pulled me closer to him. "Oh, I've noticed; it's one of the many things I love about you Bella."

I finally let Edward go clean himself up; when he returned we lay in bed just holding each other for a while. I was fighting sleep again as I always did when we were together. I felt Edward's breathing change on my neck and I realized he must have fallen asleep. I sat there listening to every breath he took for a while, laying in his arms. His body twitched involuntarily as the sleep fell over him. I decided to allow myself to give into sleep as well.

I started coming out of my sleepy fog and was trying to figure out if he was awake or asleep before I decided to move. His body didn't seem relaxed with sleep, so I went out on a limb and said, "Good morning."

I heard the exhale of a smile coming from behind me. "How long have you been awake?" I looked at the clock to see it was very early in the day, but I think my head forbade me to sleep anymore without some amount of water or sustenance.

"Just a few minutes," he replied softly.

I could feel the pounding of my head telling me I really had way too much champagne to drink last night and didn't follow it with nearly enough water. I groaned into the pillow at the consistent dull thud I could feel in my head. "Next time you get me drunk, be sure to make me drink at least 2 glasses of water before I go to bed."

I felt his fingers running across my temple and hair softly. "I'll go get you some water." He hopped out of bed easily and I felt stabs of jealousy by how unaffected he was from the champagne. As I got up to pad into the bathroom I felt more soreness, but this time it was my body and not my head. My thighs were tight and burning and between my legs I felt a bit swollen and sore. _Worth every bit of soreness_, I thought. I groaned again as I came back out to find him smiling at me from the bed with a big bottle of water.

"It isn't funny!" I sounded like a 5 year old whining.

"I'm not laughing at you; I just think you look positively adorable."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, hung over and aching is the very essence of adorable." I flinched as I got into the bed from the pain in my legs. "What was I thinking asking you to get that second bottle of champagne?"

"I'm guessing you were thinking you'd need to get me drunk so you could ask me sexy questions."

"More like I'd need to get myself drunk enough to be able to ask them. Is getting you drunk even possible?" I tipped back the bottle of water and drank almost half of it down, realizing how dry and sore my throat was.

He threw his head back in laughter. "I've just had more practice perfecting the art of drinking. It is what we do - we go to bars and drink and attempt to look cool. Finish the water and I'll get you some coffee."

I groaned again at how pathetic I must look. _Adorable my ass, _I thought. I laid my head in his lap and let him massage my head in his hands. That was enough to make anyone feel better. I closed my eyes to block out the light enjoying the light touch of his fingers.

**EPOV**

Bella had fallen asleep with her head in my lap. Waves of guilt surged through me about how badly she felt. I shouldn't have allowed her to drink so much. I also shouldn't be grateful for her drinking so much because of the benefits I'd reaped from her lowered inhibitions. I continued softly trailing my hands through her hair as she slept. I made mental to-do lists of all the alternate arrangements I'd need to make, so I could come back here.

_Come back here. _That thought in my head made me smile. I knew leaving so soon would only be more difficult than last time. I reflected on some of the things that were said last night between us. She'd said she would give up her life here for me. I would never ask such a thing of her, but she seemed to be ready to freely give that to me. I imagined what my life could be like knowing I had her with me out on a shoot or a tour, knowing at the end of every day I could fall into her arms and feel like this. I also worried about how lonely she would be, separated from her family and friends when I was gone all day. I just had to have faith that we would find our way somehow; we would make it work so both of us could be happy. If that meant I had to cut back on my projects or even give them up completely, I think I would do it.

As last night was a testament to, I didn't hold back what I was thinking or feeling when I was with her. The benefits that paid were immense. The feeling of not having to guard the things I said for fear it would be tomorrow's headline, being able to express that I positively hate doing some of the things I have to do to further my career, being able to just sit back and relax for a change was immeasurable.

She slept very still in my lap for close to two hours. I never stopped caressing her the entire time. As she started waking up, I put more pressure behind my caresses. "Feeling better?"

"Much better, I feel human again." She looked at the clock and her eyes shot up to meet mine. "Edward, you let me sleep for two hours?"

"You looked like you needed it, love." She exhaled deeply in frustration at my response. "Let me order you some breakfast and I will make the calls I need to make to get me back here to you."

I was on the phone with the airline for too long, but in the end it all worked out. I was picking at the food they brought in between being on hold with the airline representative. I would fly home on Sunday as planned and then fly back out first thing on Tuesday morning. Bella couldn't pick me up from the airport given the time they had available, so I was going to get a driver to take me up to her house in Pennsylvania. She handed me her house key and told me that it wouldn't be long before she was home.

I stared at the cold metal in my hand thinking about the trust that went into her handing me this. I had tried to protest this and she wouldn't hear of it. She wanted me back here and this was the best way to go about making that happen. I offered to wait somewhere local until she could get me, but she feared I would be spotted. Of all of the physical objects I have been given in my life this was clearly the most precious and special. It represented her complete trust in me. I grasped it in my hand feeling the jagged edges press into my skin for a moment. Giving me this was merely an afterthought to her; she didn't even pause. No concern over allowing me full access to everything she owns, just here you go, don't lose this. I couldn't even form the words to tell her how much it meant to me; I decided I'd need to find a way to do so, and soon.

I made several other calls to change all of my appointments as well.

"I still can't believe you are doing all of this for me, Edward."

"You seem to forget love that I'm doing this for me," I corrected her gently.

"So what is our plan for today?" she asked me while drinking down her third bottle of water.

"Get drunk again and have lots of sex?" Naturally the first thing that entered my brain came out of my mouth. I really needed to work on my internal filter around her more.

"Well, at least I know you are being honest with me," she giggled. "I think I'm going to pass on the get drunk part for the sake of my recovery."

"So that just leaves the lots of sex then?" I took her in my arms and kissed her neck softly.

"I think lots of sex always seems to be at the top of our to-do list." She laughed. "In between the lots of sex, do you think we can sneak out and I can take you to one of the museums at the Smithsonian? I mean do you think you would be seen?"

"No one knows I am here right now. As long as you promise not to take off my hat or glasses, I think we should be fine. At places like that people don't expect to see celebrities, so they aren't looking for them. Which one are you going to take me to?"

"I promise I'll let you remain incognito! Help me decide which one: the Art Museum, the Natural History Museum, the American History Museum, the Sculpture Museum and the Air and Space Museum – they're all very good."

"Which one is your favorite?" I prompted.

"I have always been partial to the Natural History Museum since I was a little girl," she grinned. "I mean, there is way cooler stuff to see at the American History or the Air and Space, and obviously art is always a treat. But something about the Natural History Museum has always called to me."

"Natural History it is then. You said we would be doing this in between the lots of sex, though, so I assume we better get a move on? With the lots of sex?" I was smiling now, feeling mischievous. I grabbed her by the tie in her robe and pulled her closer to me.

**BPOV **

As I laid there in a breathless heap on the bed I couldn't stop from thinking that I never expected to want anyone as much as I wanted Edward. I wanted him all of the time, everywhere, in every way. My soreness didn't stop this desire and the desire was so overwhelming that I didn't even notice the soreness when I was with him. I felt like a teenager.

"Tell me what you're smiling about," he said.

"You," I answered.

"What about me?"

"How much I want you all of the time. How I feel like a teenager or something." I was covering my face laughing now.

"Oh Bella, I am far more aroused now than I ever was as a teenager. It is rather disconcerting when I'm in meetings and my thoughts drift to you. Next thing I know, I have to think of, like, the most horrible non-sexual things to bring myself down a bit. Even the mention that you want me makes me feel like I could take you again right now. I am out of control with the lusty thoughts."

"Just imagine how I felt with NO outlet those first two weeks? I still can't believe you cheated." I playfully pushed his arm away from me. "Totally not fair!"

"That is right; we still have to discuss what happened in the _next _two weeks, don't we? You never answered my question."

"If I answer your question now we will never have any time in the museum. Later, I promise." I kissed him playfully, then grabbed his hand and pulled him off the bed to go get ready.

I decided we would take the Metro to get to the National Mall - it was too cold to walk all that way and it was a short walk to the station. We held hands the entire walk there as I attempted to point out the things I could remember about the landmarks in DC. We settled into one of the back seats on the train just in case someone stared to long at him. We kept our heads down talking in low whispers.

"How is it you know so much about this area?" Edward asked.

"I went to college right outside of town, so I spent many weekends here exploring and bar hopping. Growing up we always came here for field trips and what not. You will see the Washington Monument and the Capitol as well. So I can feel I showed you more of the town than the inside of the hotel room - like a decent hostess."

"If that was all I saw, I would be perfectly content," he said. kissing me lightly. "After all, I didn't exactly show you LA either."

I warmed under his tender kiss. It was odd seeing him so covered up. His hair was completely tucked under a knit cap. He had on large sunglasses covering his eyes. His clothing was completely normal for what anyone wearing down here would be. Regardless of how he tried to hide it, he still looked striking and beautiful. I missed looking into his eyes though, because I felt he said so much to me with them without using words.

Our stop came quickly and we took the escalator up to the National Mall. No matter how many times I had been here before, it never failed to take my breath away. I stopped to let him look around us: the majesty of the Washington Monument looming large in the distance, the architecture of all of the buildings, the sense of history in staring at the Capitol. He was silent, just taking it all in.

Eventually I spoke, reading his thoughts. "I know, right? As many times as I've been here, it has never failed to impress me. They just don't make buildings like this anymore, so intricate and ornate. It's one of the reasons I love coming here." I walked with him, pointing out each of the museums that I could remember. We entered the National History Museum and I took him through each of the rooms, describing what I could remember as a child that had since changed.

"The most bittersweet part is that they used to have this blue whale replica here. It was made to scale and it was the biggest thing you've ever seen. You just were awestruck by the fact that something THAT big lives out there in the water. It was breaking apart, so they had to take it down and they replaced it with another whale recently. In my heart, though, it can never live up to the blue whale in my memory. It actually makes me sad to look at this one. I can remember pulling my dad in the building and he always had to take me to see the blue whale first."

It made me excited to bring him here, to talk about all of the things I remembered as a child, to point out all of the animal exhibits and tell him what I could remember about them. We went into the gem exhibit as required when you come here to ooh and ah over the Hope Diamond. This is easily always the most crowded exhibit at the museum. As many times as I'd seen the diamond, it never failed to impress me. "Beautiful, isn't it?" I said as we finally got up close.

I felt his arm close around my waist as he whispered, "Any of this jewelry is far from being the most beautiful thing in the room." He kissed the top of my head lightly.

**EPOV**

I was really enjoying having Bella show me what seemed to be one of her favorite places. I loved the way her face lit up when she recalled some memory of being here or remembered some interesting piece of information that she learned years ago. It never seems to fail that when I see her in a new light that I only seem more drawn to her.

Walking along this museum, holding her hand, was something perfectly average. I saw about 50 other couples doing the very same thing. Yet for me, it was something extraordinary. I remembered back to all of the times my parents dragged us to similar venues to attempt to teach us something. How the trips were often sullied by one or more of us whining the entire time. We all thought it was boring, a complete waste of time. Yet here I was sitting here in utter fascination of every word coming out of her mouth, reading all of the plaques for more information. Things that had held little or no interest to me six hours before were now the most engrossing facts I could ever learn, such as the fact that the upper floors held the world's largest collection of mammal specimens, hidden away in wooden cases lining the halls. The skins and skulls of almost every mammal recorded were above us.

As to why this was important to me, I could only come up with a single answer: because it was important to her. It was about her life and the special time in high school when she came down to get a private tour of the above exhibit research halls. I could sense every bit of the pride in her voice as she spoke about it. I wasn't faking my interest, either; it was more that I had to know everything there was to know about this event in her life, because knowing that meant that I was somehow a part of it.

We had spent the entire day here and only very rarely did I notice someone staring for a little too long and I would attempt to turn and move out of their sight line without causing too much attention. It seemed to work as they would generally walk away.

I held her tightly as we walked back to the metro station as the dark descended upon the city. She was shivering a bit under my arm from the cold wind which seemed to have picked up since our arrival.

"Thanks for coming here with me today" she said softly when we had gotten our seats on the train. "I know I was probably in full-on geek mode, so hopefully you can look past that flaw."

"Geeky Bella is as perfect as all of the other Belles I've met. You are truly a fascinating woman. I think I've learned more today than I have since I graduated high school."

She tossed back her head with a loud laugh. "Well, I'm glad I could educate you on something."

"You have educated me on many things."

As we entered our hotel room again, she seemed to be pondering something over in her head as she hung up her coat and took off her shoes to get more comfortable. "You said earlier I had educated you on many things. Such as what?"

I took a deep breath, thinking of all of the things I felt I'd learned from her. I was deciding which to share, which course to take with this conversation. There were many paths laid in front of me that I could take with this. The answer wasn't as easy as most of my answers had been, but I had decided that instead of going the sexual innuendo route or the teasing route, I'd go the romantic route and see where that got me.

"Well, put quite simply: you have taught me how to love - what love even means. That listening to someone talk about dead mammals in cases is fascinating if you care about the person saying it. That love means that with every second spent apart from the person you love, you never feel completely whole. I've obviously tried to portray love in movies and yet I had no idea about any of it, nor was I even close."

She looked down and her lips drew up into the faintest smile with a brief exhale of a soft laugh. "I love you too, Edward. I wish I could better put my feelings into words, the way you seem to be able to. To somehow convey to you any sense of the magnitude of my feelings. Six weeks ago, I was dead inside; my entire existence was going through the motions of living. Now I've never been more alive and filled with hope. Beyond anything else, you have taught me what it truly means to have hope. Something I thought was so lost to me for so long."

She gently took my face in her hands and softly kissed my lips, whispering in between them over and over again that she loved me.

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a/n: the stuff about the Smithsonian is all true. I have been there many times, but I know two people who have actually seen the "off exhibit" floors and they never seem to stop talking about it whenever the subject of the Smithsonian is brought up. So it must be something pretty freaking amazing because they really do light up and it makes you wish you could break into the upper floors just to see what is exactly is so "awesome" about it. I found it a fitting tribute to them to put that in there, also it fits with the Bella in my head, who is one smart cookie.

a/n2: Reviews make Edward want to whisper sweet nothings (or dirty nothings if you prefer).


	25. Chapter 25 Homecoming

**a/n: Sorry this took me so long! The good news is that the next chapter is already written and I am about 1/2 of the way through the one after that, so expect another update soon! The next chapter is also very long, almost 19 pages in word, so it will hopefully be worth the wait.  
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**a/n2: Thank you again to all of you who review my story. It is very much appreciated. Keep them coming!!!!  
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**The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, I'm just borrowing them in my happy fantasy land.**

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**BPOV**

"Tell me what you were like as a teenager," I asked. We were relaxing in bed again, another new day together. I had my head nestled on his chest, absent-mindedly trailing my fingers on him as we talked.

He paused for a minute, considering his answer. "I guess if I had to define myself, I would say I was fairly average. I goofed off too much in class, I never applied myself to my school work; I never really saw the point. God knows I heard that line from my dad enough. 'You have to apply yourself, son, otherwise you will never know what you can become.' I had a few close friends, but I wasn't like Rosalie who had a crew of adoring subjects who followed her everywhere. I wasn't like Alice who easily commands the attention in the crowd because, despite her rather diminutive size, she is larger than life."

I chuckled to myself at the thought of Edward being average in any way. I couldn't think of a single way in which I saw him as average.

"Okay, let's hear all about teenage Bella."

"Teenage Bella is not a pretty sight." I shuddered at the memory of myself then. "I was sort of a mess as a teenager. I never really fit in anywhere. I met a boy my freshman year of high school, and of course I thought I was madly in love with him - completely blind to what an asshole he was for years. Then I guess I got tired of putting up with his crap, and I managed to graduate high school a year early and go off to college, leaving him behind. I was sort of dark and sad in high school all of the time. As sort of an escape, I just completely immersed myself in academics. I was all about applying myself to school work."

"See, I told you my father will love you." He smirked.

"Then I got to college and met Jasper my first day. He was the polar opposite of dark and sad." I started chuckling at the memory of Jasper.

"Jasper? Not dark and sad? No! I just can't believe it," Edward laughed.

"We clicked instantly, of course. Jasper sort of helped me pick up the pieces from high school. He sort of has a way of like projecting happiness wherever he goes. Jasper also doesn't bullshit you, he tells you what he thinks and why he thinks it. He had no issues being like, 'Bella, get your sorry ass out of this chair and go to the bars with me. Enough, already, with the sad bullshit.'" I saw Edward's lips draw up into a smile when I said this; I knew he had probably noticed the same traits in Jasper. "Trying to be more than friends with Jasper was a mistake, one that didn't last long. Then I spent my second semester and following summer pretty much dating everything that moved. I met James the first day of sophomore year." I laughed.

"Dating everything that moved, huh? Bella Swan, I never picked you for being a player."

I sat up in bed grinning from ear to ear, deciding to play along with the joke. "How exactly do you think it is that I'm lying next to the most lusted-after man on the planet? I expertly calculated every move I needed to make to get me right here. I am quite skilled, you know."

He lifted himself close to my face. "I am quite aware of your skills and very thankful for them." He leaned in for a soft kiss as I blushed.

"So we've established here that I am a player. Tell me about your skills on the court?"

"From the sounds of it, not nearly as impressive as your skills," he joked. "I dated here and there in high school, nothing long term; typical high school relationships. After that, just dates here and there. I really tried with Tanya, but that was the very definition of a dating fail."

I stiffened at the mention of her name. _Tanya, _I thought venomously in my head. I had so much ill will for a woman whom I'd only met for about two minutes; a woman, in fact, who never actually addressed me at all. "I imagine everything having to do with Tanya is the very definition of fail," I spat.

Edward laughed a deep throaty laugh. "She really fires you up, doesn't she?"

"Fuck her." I didn't find it funny at all. I was on fire with anger at just the thought of her. I couldn't even rationalize why I was so angry. I just knew there was something about that woman I couldn't stand. Perhaps it was the pain I saw in Edward's face when he told me of trying to let her in and her not even caring. Perhaps it was the way I was so insignificant to her that night. "Fuck her and the high horse she rode in on."

He was about doubled over with laughter at this point. "It isn't fucking funny, Edward!"

"I can't help it if I find it utterly adorable when you get angry and curse. Angry Bella is damn sexy. Tanya isn't worth your time at all Bella, or your anger. She is just so pathetic in every way."

I took a deep breath. She wasn't worth my anger. "I'm sorry. Please continue what you were saying."

"Anyway, when the whole Hollywood thing hit, the entire dating scene became far more difficult that I would ever have imagined."

I furrowed my brow in confusion. "Difficult? How so?"

"Difficult in the sense that I never knew if they liked me or just wanted to say they were with Edward Cullen, famous Hollywood actor. Quite frankly: aside from you, almost every woman I've met since becoming famous was more interested, I think, in the fame of being with me, than knowing the first thing about me."

"How did you know I was different?" I asked, still confused.

"Well for starters, you talked more about yourself than me when we met. That is extremely rare. Most people only want me to talk about me, which I've come to hate. Even still when we talk, I feel that it is very much an even exchange, which is why I think I am far more open with you than with anyone else." Here, he paused and shook his head for a moment. "Then there was the whole telling me what an asshole I was and storming out of the diner. Generally, if people only want to get you into bed and brag about it to their girlfriends, they don't storm out in a fit of rage."

I put my head in my hands and groaned. "I am so embarrassed about that whole scene. I mean, over-react much, Bella? I remember in the cab ride back to Jasper's, scolding myself for being so upset about the whole night. I had only just met you and here I was feeling like I just lost something so important to me."

"I guess you're forgetting about the completely humiliating scene of me begging and going completely mental when I came to the house? I mean, because I'd really like it if you forgot that. I shudder when I think about how I must have looked to you that night. I will say that was entirely fueled by the fact that I _knew _if I didn't go after you and somehow fix everything, that I _would_ lose something very important. So I was reduced to groveling, whining Edward."

"I am glad you came after me," I said in almost a whisper, my eyes filling with tears at the thought that if he hadn't come after me, I would have never known any of this. I felt his hands on my face pulling up my eyes to his.

"It was the best decision I've ever made," he said, kissing me softly. I knew he meant every word of this. I reached up and tangled my hands in his hair. As our mouths intertwined in soft kisses, his hands were softly running up and down my back. Our tongues explored each other's mouths for what seemed like forever. His fingers left trails of heat wherever he softly brushed them against me. He was being so soft and gentle with me, it was very different from the intense passion I usually felt when we were together. The softness continued as we made love.

**EPOV**

I woke up to my irritating alarm clock buzzing on my dresser and groaned as I shut it off. As my mind started waking up I remembered with a pain of sadness that I was home in Los Angeles and Bella was no longer beside me. Saying goodbye yesterday had not been easy, despite knowing it was only for forty eight hours. I decided that when I had some quiet time on the next day's plane ride back, I was going to spend it trying to figure out exactly how we could make this work with as little time apart as possible. I'd felt so empty, knowing I had nothing to come home the previous night. I was grateful for the busy day today to keep my mind off of her.

I sat through my morning meeting with Ari and my manager, listening to people pitch me the next great role of a lifetime. After a while they started to all blur together and nothing really piqued my interest. I had no idea what I wanted to do next. I was contracted to film the third installment of the Moonlight series starting in May; after that, I had nothing on the horizon. I asked my manager to send over the scripts he thought the most promising, and I would read them while I was away for the next two weeks.

I had a photo shoot in the afternoon for a spread in Entertainment Weekly. It ran longer than expected, and by the time I got home, it was after eight o'clock. I wondered if it was too late to call Bella. I decided it was probably better just to send her a text explaining what happened, and if she was still awake she could call me.

_B – Sorry, photo shoot ran long, just got home, didn't want to wake you. Looking forward to see you tomorrow – E_

I went to my room to start packing up my clothing when my phone rang.

"You silly boy - you didn't think I'd wait up for you?" Bella said with a laugh.

"I wasn't sure if I was going to wake you."

"I was just lying in bed watching a movie, hoping you would call soon," she admitted.

"What are you watching?" I asked.

She laughed. "I can't - it's just too embarrassing. I just got sucked into watching it on HBO."

"Well, now you have to tell me, Bella."

"Nope, sorry," she teased.

"You realize, of course, that I can check HBO to see what you're watching?" I said, crossing the room to pick up the remote control.

"You don't get HBO -, I checked when we were out there because I wanted to watch True Blood and you didn't get it. Nice try though, Edward. I give you an A for effort."

"Just because I don't get the channel doesn't mean I can't see what's playing on the guide, love," I said with a big smile.

"Damn it!" she groaned.

I started scrolling through the listings. I spotted Moonlight playing on HBO, and snorted with laughter. "Is this what you do when I'm not around? Watch me on your TV? I mean, if you want, we can certainly make some home videos so you can enjoy them when I am not around. How often do you do this?"

"I didn't set out to watch it, but then I turned on HBO and saw it playing and I just got sucked in! Regardless, I loved this movie long before I met you, Edward Cullen. I will say that watching you smolder on screen is only more enjoyable now that I do know you." I could clearly picture her pouty face as she said this. "No comment on the 'how often', either."

"Do I dazzle you, Bella?" I said sarcastically and then I heard her snorting with laughter on the other end of the line.

"I think I should read those scripts to pick your next role. I won't go on substance or depth of the role -I'll pick the one that I think is most likely to fulfill whatever fantasy I want to have of you on screen."

"You don't need me to make movies to fulfill your fantasies of me, Bella; you need only ask," I said, feeling myself stiffen a bit under my zipper at the thought of her fantasies.

"I'll keep that in mind," she said playfully.

"I certainly hope you do," I answered.

"I need to go to bed now so I can not be a zombie when I get home tomorrow night. I can't wait to have you here again, Edward."

"I can't wait either. I will see you tomorrow night. Goodnight, Bella."

I was on the plane again, the night having passed quickly with sleep. I was trying to figure out how we would continue to commute back and forth between coasts, after my press tours ended and shooting resumed. I could fly her out to the shoots when I wasn't particularly busy some weekends, but I never got much of a break. I wondered if I could possibly ask her to just join me on the shoot. We could rent a place together; she could work remotely. She had told me that she knew she would probably have to give up her life there for me, but I wasn't sure how exactly to even begin to bring that up. I was torn between just telling her I wanted her there and asking her to come, or waiting to see what she would bring up.

I thought ahead to May, by which time we'd have been together six months. By then I hoped she'd realize my devotion to her. Knowing that would perhaps make it easier for her to join me. I worried again about how I could possibly keep her hidden from the press if she joined me on the shoot. She was bound to be seen with me. I hated keeping her in a hotel room most of the time we were together. I worried even more about what would happen if we were found out. Eventually I knew it was going to happen. As much as I had hoped after the press of the first movie died down that the interest in me would as well, that just hadn't happened.

Finally, I had to conclude that it was most likely going to be beyond my control. We would have to handle the situation, when it arose, the best we could. Maybe she was right that it would be easier to deal with together rather than apart.

I landed in DC again, and found the driver to take me to Bella's place. I sent her a text to let her know I was on my way. I knew she wouldn't be able to leave early today to come home because she had meetings all afternoon. After a long ride, we pulled up in front of her house.

I took out all of my stuff and took in everything as I walked to the door. I could see where she had planted flowers that were dying in the Pennsylvania winters. She seemed to enjoy landscaping given the many different types of flowers that were once blooming. The house was bigger than I expected given how often she discussed it as being average.

As I walked inside, I noticed how her color choices seemed so calm and soothing. It was easy for me to see her in this house. There was a note on the hall table as I walked in and set down my stuff.

_My Darling Edward,_

_Make yourself at home. Take whatever you need from the fridge if you are hungry. I have stuff to make for dinner when I get home. The other closet in my bedroom is clear if you have stuff you need to hang up. Can't wait to see you, I should be home by 5:30._

_Love Always,_

_Bella_

There was an office to the left, and a formal living room to the right. The bookshelves of the office were crammed full of books. I looked over many of the titles she had in common with me and smiled. I looked forward to discussing them with her in the future. These little reminders of how many things we had in common never ceased to bring me joy.

As I'd expected, everything in the house was spotless. I walked back to the kitchen to get a drink of water. I was memorizing as many of these details as I could. To the left of the kitchen was a large family room and to the right was her dining room.

I saw some pictures on the mantel, and crossed the room to see them. There was one of her father, Charlie; and one of her mother, Renee, and step-father, Phil. There was also a photo of a couple I recognized from her Facebook page; I decided they must be Angela and Eric. I noticed, however, there were no pictures of James. I thought that was odd. I started wandering back into the office and I noticed there seemed to be empty spaces on the shelves, where I imagined there were once pictures. I felt guilty at the thought that maybe she felt the need to remove his picture from their house to make me feel comfortable.

I grabbed my bag and headed upstairs. Her bedroom was right at the top of the stairs. I found the empty closet and I noticed indentations on the floor where it looked like things had recently sat. I swallowed at the lump in my throat that told me she'd likely spent the past two nights boxing up every reminder of James and putting it away. She didn't have to do that for me. I expected to see him in the house they shared together. I hung up a few of my things and continued exploring the rest of the upstairs. There were two spare bedrooms on the opposite side of the stairs; one had furniture in it for overnight guests. The bedroom next to the master was completely empty. It was painted the palest shade of yellow. I wondered if this room was empty because it had been waiting for the child that never came for them.

I checked the clock and saw that she would be back in about 45 minutes, so I decided to take a shower to relax my stiff muscles from sitting for so long. I thought about starting dinner, but I couldn't figure out what it was she wanted to make and didn't want to upset her plan for dinner.

I spotted a bottle of wine on the counter, and saw it had a note attached.

_Feel free to start without me._

I chuckled to myself and opened the bottle. After pouring two glasses to have one waiting for her, I found myself pacing between the rooms waiting for her to arrive, excited with the thought of what I had planned for her. I also enjoyed the feeling of being surrounded with things that were so perfectly Bella. This house was filled with her; I could see it in everything. These things she picked out to fill her life with. It was so much more of a home than where I lived. It reminded me very much of my childhood home, which my mother filled up with so many things like this.

I heard the garage door opening up around five twenty. I laughed, imagining Bella speeding home. I stood waiting for her leaned up against the kitchen counter. She opened the door and smiled when she saw me. "Welcome home, Bella," I said, and crossed the kitchen in about two steps. When I reached her, I took her in my arms, passionately kissing her as she dropped her bags. I pushed her up against the door and started undressing her immediately.

She pulled back for a moment, locked eyes with me and smiled her sexy smile because she knew what I had in mind. As she started undressing me, I put my hand in my pocket to retrieve the condom I had put there earlier. Her smile widened when she saw me pull it out.

**BPOV**

When I walked in the door Edward had a look in his eyes of pure lust. I knew he had something planned by the way he was staring at me. Within seconds I was having my clothes taken off me, as he was covering me with his mouth. I remembered telling him that when I'd arrived to our DC hotel, I'd hoped he would take me against the door of the hotel room, and I had a feeling that was what was in store for me tonight. I was aroused just thinking about it. I was more than ready for him, as I had spent the entire afternoon thinking about all of the things I wanted him to do to me tonight.

I pulled back to look in his eyes with a smile. I saw that lustful gaze again and I started pulling off his clothes. I saw his hand pull out a condom and my smile widened. I was right.

He picked me up in a fluid movement and pushed me up against the door, holding his body flat against mine. He was completely supporting my weight with his one arm. I wrapped my legs around his back. With one swift movement his length was deep inside of me, as he was kissing my neck.

"Oh God, Edward, you feel so good," I moaned. I could feel the mixture of temperatures, the cold metal from the door at my back and the heat from his body in front, as he moved in and out of me with deep thrusts, each time pushing me harder into the door. The deep grunts and moans coming out of his mouth combined with the complete dominance he had over me, had me knowing I would be coming quickly. As the waves of passion broke inside me with high pitched groans, he kept moving with the same pace and control over me. Finally, I felt him pulsing inside of me as his breathing became erratic and his sounds even more primal.

He gently wrapped both arms around me and set me down on the ground, kissing me with the same passionate urgency as before. "So did that live up to your fantasy?" he asked, still breathless and smiling.

"Lived up? It exceeded anything I could ever imagine. Let's just say, if this is how I am going to be greeted every night when I come home, I'm going to keep you here forever." I was grabbing my clothes which were scattered around by the garage door. I was still breathing hard and almost unable to form my thoughts around me.

This was going to be another amazing week.

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a/n: in honor of Bella's "dark and sad" inner teenager, I picked the song "Question of Lust" by Depeche Mode to listen to while writing it.

a/n2: reviews make all of Bella's fantasies come true.


	26. Chapter 26 The Dinner Party

**a/n: This chapter was originally longer, but I decided to change around the second half and I realized I didn't have time to do that today, so I just put up the first half. The second half should go up maybe tomorrow or Tuesday. Another huge thank you goes out to starfish, who is simply brilliant at fixing my terrible grammar.  
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**a/n2: It just wouldn't be right if I didn't thank everyone who takes the time out to review my story. You are all too kind!  
**

**The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, I'm just borrowing them in my happy fantasy land.**

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**EPOV**

We were cooking dinner together. I was doing basically whatever she told me to do with my limited cooking skills. I spent hours researching how to cook a meal for her the one time I attempted it. I could make basic staples, but nothing impressive. We were drinking wine and laughing, when suddenly I was struck, hard, by the idea that what I had right now was probably the closest I've come to a normal life as an adult.

There were no press, no fans, no cameras, no need to look pretty and smile; only me and Bella, chopping up vegetables for a salad, laughing over inconsequential things. I leaned over and kissed her softly. "I am so happy you asked me to stay." Her smile was my response, which said everything with the brief drawing up of her lips and quick exhale of breath.

"Oh! I almost forgot to ask you. Angela called me today. I was thinking of having Eric and her over tomorrow to meet you; is that okay with you?" Bella asked.

"Of course it's okay with me, I look forward to meeting them. If you need me to run out and get anything, let me know; I can do it while you are gone tomorrow." My words were perhaps not as honest as they should have been. I would love to meet her friends, but the idea of meeting the brother of her dead husband was not exactly something I was looking forward to. I doubted I would live up to any possible expectation that Eric had for her as a replacement for his brother, in her heart or bed. I decided to just do the best I could for Bella, because I know how important the two of them are to her.

"I actually do need to make a liquor store run, but I can do that on my way home."

"Let me do it, it will make me feel useful. I can take a cab; just tell me where to find it."

"Actually I have an extra car. But...well, it's kind of a piece of shit. It was one of James' rehab projects that he used to work on with our neighbor's son before he moved away. They would spend hours on the thing – why, I have NO idea - but I never had the heart to get rid of it. I decided a few months ago when Jacob comes home that I was going to give it to him as a gift. I haven't seen Jacob since; he doesn't come around much anymore. I think he finds it difficult to see his father, who was once his biggest role model, in a wheelchair."

"Well, now you have to show it to me." I said intrigued.

She took me into the garage and next to her blue Honda Accord sat this gigantic red battered pickup truck. I laughed in spite of myself. "I'm sorry Bella, it isn't funny."

"Oh you can laugh, I never doubted it was a piece of crap, but they loved rebuilding it, so I let him have it. It's slow, and well, it's loud; but it does actually work."

"I think I'd take my chances in a cab. I mean, everything about this car screams 'notice me'."

"Good point." She laughed.

After dinner Bella spotted my guitar in the corner of her family room. "You brought your guitar?"

"I did; I need to finish writing a song, and really, I don't like being places for long periods of time without an instrument. I guess the creative side of me can't be dormant for too long without me getting antsy."

"Play something for me?" she asked with her sultry smile.

I thought about all of the songs I could play without the sheet music. As I flipped through my mental catalog it came to me, and I took out the guitar and started playing.

**BPOV **

He was strumming the guitar so softly. The music was something I didn't recognize, but found to be so serene and peaceful. Watching him play music was a treat; he looked so at peace. As I sat there listening to him, he surprised me further by beginning to sing for me.

_Spring sweet rhythm dance in my head  
Slip into my lovers hands  
Kiss me wont you kiss me now  
And sleep I would inside your mouth  
Don't be us too shy  
For knowing it's no big surprise  
That I will wait for you  
I will wait for no one but you _

He locked eyes with me as he sang the last two lines. I knew they were meant for me, probably the reason he chose this song, by the look in his eyes. My whole body was tingling from the way he was looking at me. It said everything in simple words.

_Oh please lover lay down  
Spend this time with me  
Together share this smile  
Lover lay down  
Spend this time with me  
Walk with me, walk with you  
Hold my hands your hands  
So much we have dreamed  
And you were so much younger  
Hard to explain that we are stronger _

I stared at him, almost hypnotized; watching him play, letting his voice wash over me. I had heard him sing on my iPod, but hearing him like this was intoxicating.

_A million reasons life to deny  
Lets toss them away  
See you and me we  
Lay down look see  
She and he  
By my lovers side_

_Each others tears to cry  
Together share this smile _

_Lover lay down_

I started feeling overwhelmed with emotion, just as I had the last time I'd heard him play. To watch him pour so much of himself into the music, to play for only me, was tender and yet completely erotic all at the same time.

_  
Oh please oh please  
Please lover lay down  
Oh please lover lay down  
And you weep lover lay down  
Cause its over lover lay down  
Say love, say love, say love, say love, say love_

_Could I love you  
Could you love me_

_Could I love you  
Could you love me_

_Could I love you  
Could you love me_

_Could I love you  
Could you love me_

The tenderness with which he sang those lines to me, combined with the slight smile on his lips and the complete intensity of his gaze, was enough to make the tears start spilling over.

_  
Darling it's all the same_

_All the same_

_Til' we dance away_

_Til' we dance away_

_Til' we dance away_

_Til' we dance away  
Chasing me all around  
Leading me all around in circles _

_Chasing me all around  
Leading me all around in circles  
Say....... _

The words finished, and he continued to play out the final notes on his guitar. His eyes still had never left mine.

"That was beautiful, Edward; I've never heard that song before, and it was just lovely," I said, while wiping away the tears that showed him I was once again overcome with emotions. So many of them rushed towards me while he sang: love, lust, passion, respect, need and desire. "I'm just speechless, really."

"It's "Lover Lay Down" by The Dave Matthews Band; one of my teachers was a big fan of his music and made me learn this because of how the melody sounded out of an acoustic guitar. It has always been one of my favorite songs to play, because of the tenderness and sensuality of the song. Of all of the songs I know off the top of my head, this seemed the most perfect for you."

I removed the guitar from his hands and kissed him, climbing into his lap as I did it. "It was perfect." I whispered as I continued my kisses, my fingers working to take off his shirt.

The alarm woke me far too early in the morning. I heard Edward groan next to me in bed; I quickly turned it off so he could go back to sleep. I went to hop out of bed and I felt his arms around me pulling me back in. "Just one more minute," he begged.

"Please go back to sleep, I know for you it's only three in the morning."

"I have all day to sleep. I just have to make your liquor run for you."

"I'll be home earlier today, probably around 3:30, to get dinner started. I don't have any meetings and can sneak out by then."

"I look forward to it," he said planting kisses on my shoulder.

I got out of bed and into the shower, and finished getting ready for the day. As I came out I saw he had fallen back to sleep. I stood for a moment taking him in, asleep in my bed, peaceful and serene. I blew a kiss in his direction and went off to work.

**EPOV**

Looking at the clock, I realized I must have fallen back to sleep. It was already noon. _I've slept six more hours? _Technically I had only slept in until nine in the morning my time, but I felt lazy nonetheless. The good news about my laziness was that it would only be a short time until Bella returned home.

I went downstairs to put on some coffee, to keep the inevitable caffeine withdrawal headache from happening. I didn't want to be useless for the rest of the day because I didn't properly caffeinate myself. I ate a small bowl of cereal while flipping through the Entertainment Weekly magazine that had come in her mail yesterday. I always laughed when I saw these magazines, because while this one was better than most, it only really reported what people wanted them to report. Every story was crafted by a team of publicists to either make us look good or someone else look bad. These magazines represented everything that I enjoyed being away from, the constant lie I had to live. The constant lie I was living now in many ways: hiding my love from the world, for fear of how she would be treated if I were to go public with our relationship.

I showered and dressed. Picking the proper outfit for meeting the brother of your lover's dead husband is no easy task. I sat there for a while trying to come up with something that didn't look too expensive, but also didn't look like I didn't give a shit. Given the lackluster state of my wardrobe, this was going to be a problem. I decided to just go simple with jeans and a t-shirt, figuring it was better to be casual than coming across as a show off.

I went through Bella's liquor supply to determine what I needed to get, and then decided to make a big batch of cosmopolitans and margaritas for the night. I know Bella had enjoyed them in California, and she'd mentioned that she and Angela would often drink them. I called a cab, taking the liquor-shopping list I'd made.

I could feel the nervousness creeping over me again at the thought of meeting Eric. I decided to just get into a character if I had to - I'd done it plenty of times. I know Bella wouldn't like me feeling like I needed to pretend, but I wasn't sure how I would react if I could sense tension in the room. By the time I got home and set the bottles down on the counter, I heard the garage door open and her car pull in. I checked the clock and it was only two-thirty. I smiled, realizing she just couldn't stay away from me, any easier than I could stay away from her.

"You're home early," I said, kissing her as she came in.

"I couldn't stand being there anymore without you," she responded. "What time did you wake up?"

I looked down, embarrassed. "Noon."

She let out a girlish giggle. "Lazy bum."

"You sap all my energy, Bella. I need my rest if I'm to have any hope of pleasing you in the manner in which you have become accustomed," I said mischievously.

"If I had to guess, I would say you could probably do that unconscious, you're so proficient at pleasing me," she came back, with an equal amount of mischief in her voice. She pulled me closer to her by the waist and locked me in a deep kiss. "Remember that tonight when our guests have left."

We were preparing dinner when I heard the doorbell ring. As she went to answer it I took a deep breath to calm my nerves again. If I was this worried about meeting her friends, what would I be like meeting her parents?

They entered the house and I came over to greet them. Angela had warm and kind eyes when she greeted me with a silly grin. Eric was looking away from me and seemed more stiff and formal in his greeting.

"What do you guys want to drink? Edward has made cosmos and margaritas; we also have wine, beer and the usual assortment of liquor," Bella offered.

"Do you need to ask, when cosmos are involved?" Angela replied.

"I think I'll go for a beer. Real men don't drink fruity designer drinks," Eric said.

I stiffened a bit. I wondered if that was in fact a dig at me in some way, because I made them. _Don't read too much into small shit, Edward, _I thought. Bella and Angela didn't seem to notice the remark, so I kept reminding myself I was probably just worried or overreacting.

We stood around in the kitchen as Angela and Bella dominated the conversation. It was easy to see why they were friends because they complimented each other so well. Eric and I stood leaning around the island just listening, nodding and occasionally laughing.

"So Edward, what kind of car do you drive?" Eric asked, surprising me. The girls didn't seem to notice we were talking, so I answered only Eric.

"I drive a Volvo S80 R," I responded.

Eric almost spit out his beer. "What's so funny?" Angela asked, hooking her arm in his.

"I just asked Edward what kind of car he drove." Eric laughed.

"Ah yes, the Volvo," Bella responded. "I had to admit I laughed too when I saw it, but it is equipped with every option known to man and then some. The sound system is enough to hear for the car coming for miles."

"I prefer to blend in. The less noticed I am, the better; so I went for a less flashy car choice," I explained.

"Less flashy, _that_ is putting it mildly. I mean you have how many millions and you drive a _mom_ car, dude? Seriously, I can't believe your friends didn't talk you out of that," Eric grumbled. "At least tell me you have a cribs-worthy house on the beach or something?"

"Mmmm, no, I have a two bedroom rental apartment in Los Angeles," I replied.

Eric just shook his head. I was trying to rationalize his responses by thinking he probably walked in here with all sorts of preconceived notions about me and I wasn't living up to his expectations of what a Hollywood star should have or act. I had to try to give him a pass for being annoying.

"Edward lives pretty modestly; there was really nothing flashy in his apartment either, other than the recording equipment which looks expensive," Bella added.

"What do you do with all of the money you have then?" Angela asked.

"I spend it on plane tickets and hotel rooms," I joked, smiling at Bella.

Angela seemed to bubble up with glee at this answer. I saw Eric roll his eyes.

"I invest most of it. I have no idea how long this will last so I want to be prepared. Because if it weren't for this, I have no idea what I would do for a living," I answered honestly.

"Must be nice," Eric responded under his breath.

I exhaled. If I were being myself, I'd say something sarcastic to put his guy in his place. That wasn't going to be good for anyone. So I decided to do two things. The first was step into the role of the doormat that puts up with this shit from some dick; and the second was to get myself so drunk I couldn't make sense of what he was saying anyway.

"Is dinner almost ready Bella?" I asked, trying to get the subject off of me and back to someone else.

"Yes, it should be ready in about 5 minutes," she replied.

"I'll set the table, then," I offered, and busied myself putting out the place settings. I could see Angela grabbing her arm and whispering something into her ear, and Bella smiling. I exhaled again. Clearly I was just overreacting.

"Can I get you another beer, Edward, or are you going to nurse this one for the rest of the night?" Eric asked, holding up my beer that had the smallest amount remaining.

"I think I'll have wine with dinner, thank you," I answered. "I bought a few bottles today – they're over there on the counter. Choose one."

Dinner was uncomfortable. Angela was asking me loads of what I consider to be interview questions. Questions I am asked on an almost near constant basis. The more she asked me, the more I could see in Eric's body language, lack of responses and amount of alcohol consumed, that he was not happy. I kept hoping Bella would change the subject, but she never did. On the contrary, she was actually beaming. I could see how much it meant to her that her best friends were here with me; that was enough for me to smile and answer them all as curtly as I could without being rude.

When we finished dinner we were all feeling warm from the alcohol consumed, and they decided to play Guitar Hero. I'd heard of the game, but had never actually played it. I was never a big gaming type of person. House rules were that the loser in a head-to-head match had to do a shot. Eric challenged me to play against him. I thought the chances of my losing were high; but at least I would get drunk faster and as such, not care about him acting like such a dick all night.

I had assumed that I would be good at this game because I play guitar. I was wrong. It was nothing like playing a guitar, and I was miserable at it. Eric took great pride in berating every time I screwed up. "Dude, you have to hold the button and then strum when the dot gets to the circle. DUDE, you keep missing it!" Eric kept repeating while laughing at me. "Do we have to set it on beginner for you? I thought you played the guitar, dude."

If he called me "dude" one more fucking time, I was going to explode. Yet after each song he would challenge me again, to help me "get better". So I just kept taking more shots, and eventually I could tune him out and didn't give a shit how bad I was.

"Dude, you suck. Bella, get over here and show your little boy toy how it's done," Eric said.

_Boy toy. Fucking prick. _I thought.

"I haven't played in forever," she feigned.

I happily jumped up and handed her the guitar. "I would like to see you play for me this time, Bella," I whispered in her ear.

"Go Your Own Way?" he asked her.

"Let's rock," Bella replied.

Bella was actually very good. I don't think she missed a note for the first half of the song. I kept calling out in encouragement for her and it would cause Eric to mess up. So I kept doing this more often to annoy him; it gave me a perverse sense of joy to put him in my shoes for a minute. When she beat him soundly, she raised her arms up in the air and shouted a large, "Wooohoooo!" It was adorable.

I filled up the shot glass and handed it to him. "Bottoms up, Eric," I smirked. He snatched the shot angrily out of my hand as I smiled down at him.

"Best two out of three, Bella," Eric said. She beat him again.

"Bella, you've been holding out on me. Perhaps I need to teach you how to play bass, and then we can form a band," I said as I came up behind her and took her in my arms. I saw Eric get up and walk away and do the shot he owed for losing, plus another while staring at us. I decided not to push it and just stepped back.

Bella looked really happy. She and Angela had polished off my pitchers of drinks, and now were finishing off the bottle of wine. The two of them had been huddled together all night giggling. I tried to focus on that and once again remind myself that this night was for her, that everything I did was for her and her happiness.

"Best three out of five then, Bella?" Eric asked again.

"You may as well just bring that bottle over here, because you'll be downing the next shot in about 5 minutes," Bella teased. To be exact, four minutes and forty three seconds later, he was drinking another shot.

I decided to pour another for myself. I was most definitely drunk by this point; everything was sort of hazy and fuzzy. It truly relaxed me for the first time all night. I was glad Bella took over the game and put him in his place; a little bit of humility was good for him.

"I think that has been enough humiliation of the men in the house, don't you think, Angela?" Bella laughed. They sat down on the couch with the last remnants of wine. I got Eric and me another beer from the fridge.

"I still can't get over that I'm sitting in a room with Edward Cullen!" Angela said. Her drinking had gotten the best of her and she wasn't hiding the fact she was star struck. The look on Eric's face told me he did not appreciate his wife mooning over me, any more than he liked his sister-in-law doing it.

"Tell me what your favorite scene was to film in the second movie? I can't believe it is coming out in two months! Is there anything else we should know before we see it?" Angela asked excitedly.

Eric let out a grunt. "Ang, why do you keep assaulting the man with questions you already know the answer to? You read every entertainment blog out there every night. I have to rip the laptop out of your hands." If I hadn't have been picking up on his body language all night, I may have passed that off as teasing, but it was very clear to me that it was a 'shut the hell up' sort of statement.

Angela's face turned a deep crimson. I tried to smile at her reassuringly to tell her it was perfectly fine. Bella was looking at Eric with a furrowed brow.

"Silly boy, Angela is merely trying to ferret out if Edward gives real answers to the press or just what they want to hear. Some of his answers tonight are different than what I have seen in interviews," Bella recovered for her friend. Angela smiled at her; Eric rolled his eyes again.

"Why would you do that though? Lie? I mean, just say what you want to say - who gives a shit?" Eric asked, his voice not hiding his disdain.

"It is complicated." I started taking a deep breath. "There are things they want me to promote for example, such as discussing parts that have not been seen in the trailers to pique interest. There are parts they want me to discuss that perhaps bring up something that differs between the book and movie, so the fans aren't shocked when they see it. The press tours aren't about promoting _me_; they are about promoting the _movie_. So I need to help them with whatever they want. Questions about my personal life are left up to me to handle as I feel necessary. Sometimes I have to lie, or at least conceal the truth, to protect the people I care about," I said looking at Bella.

"So what you are saying is, you're just told what to do every day by other people, and don't get to live your own life?" Eric sneered.

I decided joking was the best route to go. "Yeah, pretty much when I am on a press tour," I said in a joking voice, nodding my head. Angela and Bella laughed, but their laughter had a tinge of being uncomfortable. Bella looked at me and mouthed "sorry" with a small frown. I knew then that I wasn't making up the fact that Eric was being a dick.

"Why do you need to protect Bella?" he asked outright.

Before I could get a word out, Bella answered. "Eric, I've seen what happens when Edward is spotted in public. He's swarmed by people, and it was terrifying. Edward is very concerned with how everyone will react if I get put in the public eye and how that will impact my life."

"So, in other words, he is ashamed of you. I see. How very noble of him to _protect_ you, Bella," Eric snarled, his voice full of sarcasm.

"ERIC!" Angela blurted out, standing up incredulously.

Bella started to speak, and I cut her off, summoning all of the calm I had to give. "Eric, I understand that you're concerned for Bella. I can assure you that if I thought that they wouldn't follow Bella everywhere and make living a normal life virtually impossible for her, I would have gone public with her when we were in California. It if were only about publicity or my image, my publicist assures me that being seen with a mystery girl would be great for my image, as everyone would be trying to determine her identity."

"How do I know you aren't just using her?" he sneered.

"What, exactly, am I using her for, Eric?" I asked, my voice growing angrier.

"Oh, I don't know; from the things I hear from my wife, sex and lots of it," he spat.

"ERIC!" Bella was standing now. I stepped in front of her to direct his anger away from her and back onto me.

"Sex? You think I need to fly across the country for sex? What about my life don't you understand, Eric? I can have plenty of sex in Los Angeles. What else do you have for me?" I spat at him.

"Well, given all of this sex you seem to have available, I'm sure you are probably sticking it in every other woman in Hollywood, when you're not with her," he sneered.

I laughed in his face. "Yes, that's exactly right Eric; you're so perceptive. I am so glad you brought this to light. In fact, I flew home on Sunday night only so I could spend the day Monday fucking countless others. Then I flew back here on Tuesday, simply because I wanted more sex with Bella; when I could easily have made up excuses to stay there if that's what my motive was. I'm a machine, really. What else, Eric?" I was trying as best as I could to hold it together and not punch him in the face. My anger was clearly showing in my voice. I did want him to get everything out of him, whatever it was that he was holding against me.

"You are a pompous ass. You think you can just have whatever and whoever you want because you're 'famous'. You'll break her heart, and leave us to pick up the pieces," he said.

"Oh, _I'm_ the pompous ass? _Me_? You know, the one who spent the whole fucking evening being either put down or made fun of by you? The one who put up with your bullshit because I love Bella so much I didn't want to hurt her, knowing how important you and your wife are to her. Think about that again; who here is truly the pompous ass?" I had stepped closer to him and knew it wasn't going to take much more before this ended badly. "I know you won't believe this, because you clearly made up your mind about me before you ever laid eyes on me; but I will do everything in my power to make sure that Bella is happy."

"Whatever, Dr. Phil. Angela, let's go. Call a cab; we'll wait outside," Eric said, turning to leave.

"Eric, what's your problem? I have no idea where this all came from," Angela pleaded; she was crying. From the sounds behind me, so was Bella.

"Of course you don't know, Angela; you were too busy mooning over him all night, to see what an asshole he is," he turned on her.

"ENOUGH!" I heard Bella choke out.

"Bella, you aren't thinking clearly. You're just rebounding, and I don't want you to make a mistake," he pleaded with her.

"The only mistake I've made lately is in thinking you could act like a civilized human being when you feel threatened. You're just like your brother in that regard," Bella spat.

"Don't you _dare _talk about my brother to me," Eric shouted as he crossed the room, filled with rage.

"Leave Bella and Angela out of this," I said, standing in front them. "Your problem is with me, not them. They don't deserve to be treated this way. Go home and sober up. I'll call you a cab; Angela is welcome to stay here if she would like." I took control of the situation because I wasn't going to let him take out his anger on either of them.

"No, I'll go as well; I'll be fine," Angela said softly. She went over to hug Bella and they both held on tight for a few minutes. I saw Angela look up at me and softly shake her head, closing her eyes.

Without another word, Eric grabbed their coats and left in silence waiting for the cab. Bella started sobbing on the couch immediately, releasing all of the emotions she was holding up inside. I sat next to her to comfort her. "Bella, in his defense, I do think tonight was very hard on him. The alcohol probably didn't make matters better. I'm sorry I lost my temper; I know that wasn't the appropriate tactic to take with him."

"Edward, you have nothing to be sorry for. I've never seen him act like this before - ever. He was never one to act out like that; that was more…" She couldn't finish before breaking down again into sobs.

"Bella, I'm sure once he calms down, he'll call you to apologize. You've known each other too long. Let's go to bed and get some sleep, and we'll figure this all out in the morning." I picked her up and carried her upstairs. She cried in my arms for about twenty minutes before falling off to sleep.

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a/n: I know Eric sounds like a dick, he isn't always going to be a dick, he just has some issues to deal with.

a/n2: In case you didn't figure it out, "Lover Lay Down" was the soundtrack for most of this chapter. It has a tenderness and kindness to it that seemed to fit perfectly. The whines of my children was the inspiration for Edward's annoyed state. ;-).

a/n3: Reviews make me want to give more information about Eric's motivation. :-)


	27. Chapter 27 Manipulation

**a/n: I know I said this chapter would come out sooner, but the more I looked at it, the more I kept waffling over how I wanted it to play out. In the end I kept it almost exactly as I originally wrote it.  
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**a/n2: Thank you again to everyone who gives me reviews. Especially those who have given me multiple reviews or great insight. I really appreciate your time. Another thank you goes out to all of you who subscribe to alerts for this story.**

**The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, I'm just borrowing them in my happy fantasy land.**

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BPOV

I heard the phone ringing and I checked the clock; it was three in the morning. "What the hell?" I groaned. I grabbed my cell phone; when I saw it was Angela calling, I bolted upright.

"Angela? Are you okay? What's wrong?" I cried when I picked it up, fearing the worst.

"Bella, I'm fine; really, I'm fine. I snuck downstairs to call you, when Eric finally fell asleep. I was so worried about you. Eric and I were up talking since we left. Bella, he is so sorry. It's a really, really long story and I'll tell you all about it tomorrow. I just wanted you to know that he feels awful. There is no excuse for the way he acted; but there's so much going on here beneath the surface that we just didn't know about. James was the reason he acted this way tonight; his guilt over James."

I sat there, silently taking it all in. "I thought you had talked to him, Angela; I thought you told me he wanted me to be happy." I started crying again.

"He _does _want you to be happy. He just couldn't come to terms with the fact that you being happy means truly moving on. He said he's going to make it right tomorrow; he's going to find a way." Angela was crying now too.

"Angela, I've never seen him like that, ever; have you? I mean, you would tell me, right?" I pleaded.

"I have never seen Eric like that. You and I both know that James was the one with the temper in the family. Even when he was arguing with his brother, I've never seen Eric react like that. Bella, you'll understand more when you know; it honestly got out of control. I'll talk to you about tomorrow. I love you. I am so, so sorry. I just had to call to tell you that. Please tell Edward I'm sorry. I feel horrible. I really do."

She hung up the phone quickly. Edward was sitting up next to me stroking my back. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.

"Angela said that Eric's behavior tonight was about James. She said he feels horrible and he plans on 'making it right', whatever that means." I was wiping the tears away. "I have never seen him like that Edward, honestly. He was a lot like James tonight, and they are very different."

"Give him a chance to explain tomorrow, or whatever he plans on doing, Bella. You love him very much, and I know you don't want this to go unresolved," he whispered in my ear, stroking my hair.

I lay back down in his arms feeling the warmth wrapped around me. Tonight everything had gone so horribly wrong. Edward had amazed me with how much control he'd had over his emotions tonight. Even when he was angry, I never feared he would completely lose it. It made the one time I had seen him lose control, that first night we met, even more surprising. "How did you control your anger so well tonight?" I asked him.

I heard him take a deep breath. "I knew it was important to you that we get along, so I compartmentalized it and allowed myself to be the doormat. I sort of viewed it as a role to take on. The alcohol both helped and, in the end, hurt my ability to do that."

My heart sank. He pretended for me. We weren't about pretending with each other and I put him in a position where he had to pretend to be something he wasn't. "Edward, I'm sorry you had to pretend for me."

"I didn't pretend for you, Bella; I pretended for them. I had a feeling tonight would be strained, so I had prepared myself for the possibility the only way I know how. Please don't feel responsible for any of this." He was kissing my head lightly pulling me closer to him.

I cried some more and let him softly whisper in my ear that everything was going to be okay for a while. Then exhaustion overwhelmed me and I finally fell back to sleep. The damn alarm waking me at six was highly unwelcome. He pulled me closer to him after I turned it off. "Can you go in late today?" he asked me.

"I have an early morning meeting. I'll call you later on. I love you, Edward." I got up to get ready for my day. When I was in the shower, I heard the door open behind me and I felt his arms wrap around me again.

"May I?" he asked, taking the shampoo from my hands. I smiled and handed it to him, surrendering myself to the peace that I felt with his hands in my hair.

"You always know just what to do to make me feel better, don't you?" I hummed.

"I hope so," he whispered. "Today will be a better day."

I got ready and insisted he climb back in bed. "One of us needs to be well-rested. I'll go to bed early tonight; but for now, please sleep. I know you were up more last night than I was." I wondered if he ever slept at all.

**EPOV**

I took Bella's advice for lying down because I hadn't really slept all night. My mind was full of the excitement of the night: trying to figure out what went on; why; and most importantly, how to fix it. The best I could figure out, Eric had lost control because while, in theory he was fine with the idea of his sister-in-law moving in, in reality he wasn't. I am sure I played a large part in that, because of my fame and all its trappings. I expected him to be concerned, even a little standoffish. I never expected for the evening to end with all of us yelling.

I finally shut my brain down long enough to fall asleep. I was woken by the doorbell. I checked the clock and it was ten in the morning. I groaned and quickly pulled on some pajama pants to go answer the door, assuming it was a delivery man or something. I checked through the side window and saw Eric standing there. I opened the door and motioned with my arm for him to come in.

He walked to the kitchen and sat down. "Give me a minute, please, to put on a shirt and brush my teeth?" I asked. He nodded. When I came back down there was a fresh pot of coffee. "Thanks for the coffee," I said, pouring myself a cup.

I sat down across from him; and for a while we said nothing.

Finally, he began, "I wanted to come by before Bella got home, to talk with you first."

"I am not the one you need to talk with," I replied.

"I realize I have a lifetime's worth of groveling in store, for Bella to forgive me. However, I feel the fastest way to achieve this goal would be to start with you."

"Good point," I responded.

He took a deep breath. "So Angela and I had a very long discussion last night and I realized a few things." I let him collect his thoughts and didn't respond.

"I am concerned for Bella, I won't lie about that. However, the way I voiced my concern was completely out of line." He stopped again; I could tell he was waiting for me to say something.

"I can understand your general cause for concern, Eric; I wouldn't have expected otherwise. The only thing I can do to help ease your concerns, is to show you through my actions that I do love her and will do everything I can to protect her happiness." I took a deep breath. "As for the way you voiced it, yes, it was completely out of line. You made Bella feel like my whore. You and I both know that is not true." I needed these words to sting, for him to understand how he hurt her.

He looked away again, closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. "When I got here last night, I noticed immediately that all of James' pictures were gone. That everything that was uniquely James was no longer a part of this house. I assumed that you had asked Bella to do this for you. It made me angry first thing; and the rest of the night degraded from there."

"I never asked Bella anything of the kind; I was as shocked as you were to see no sign of him here," I retorted.

"I realize that now; my wife gave me an earful over it. I guess she was over here helping Bella pack everything up. I knew Angela was here, I just didn't know why. She said it was important for Bella to do, something she wanted; not for you, but rather for herself. But when I thought it was from your request, I felt like you were trying to replace my brother in every way, starting with her, then his house, then my wife, then me in a way. I thought you were systematically erasing my brother's memory from the planet."

"I hope you have realized that is both not my intention and also something I couldn't do, even if it was my intention. James was her husband; she loved him very much. She has always made that very clear to me - I hold no illusions that her love for him will ever go away," I said.

"I couldn't see that for myself because I am so overwhelmed with the idea that I have betrayed my brother, my guilt over it. Technically, the fact that the two of you are even together is because of me. Walking in here and thinking that you were trying to replace him, seeing how blissfully happy Bella looked; even more happy than she looked when my brother was still alive sometimes…well, it made my guilt eat away at me - made me try to make you feel small for James' sake to resolve my guilt. By the end of the night I could hardly face the idea that I had betrayed my brother by setting up his wife with her new lover..." he trailed off.

"I'm sorry - I don't see how you could blame yourself for Bella and I being together?" I asked, confused.

Eric paused for a moment; he looked stricken with what he was about to say. He took a deep breath and began.

"I encouraged her to go to California, to stay with Jasper. If anyone was going to help her get through this, it was Jasper. Before she left, I called him. I begged him to help her move on. You just don't know how hollow she was, Edward. How empty she looked. She would spend every weekend at the dock talking to the water as if it was him. Angela was frantic with worry; my parents were frantic. Angela was spending so much time away from home to be with her. I just couldn't take it anymore - the misery surrounding everyone I loved. I tried to fix her up with one of my friends here, and that was a nightmare. He ended up following her around like a puppy, till she finally snapped at him, and insisted he leave her alone." He finished his cup of coffee and rubbed his temples as he scrunched up his face.

"So I asked Jasper to find someone for her when she went out there. I wanted someone she could just have some sort of meaningless tryst with, so she could get it out of her system and move on. Yes, she would feel guilty for herself, yes she would blame herself, but she would also realize that it was time to move on."

The confusion was plain on my face. "What a minute - what? You asked Jasper what?" I asked.

"I asked Jasper to find Bella someone to take her mind off of my brother. He resisted at first of course; but I begged him. I finally got him to understand how empty she was. He said he would try, but he made no promises. He didn't believe it would be easy to get Bella to have a one night stand with anyone. I thought if the opportunity presented itself, she probably would because she was so lonely. It was worth a try. Jasper called me the day after she arrived in Los Angeles, the day after you met." Eric walked over to fill up his cup again.

"He told me he had begged Emmett to invite you to a party, that you were one of Emmett's Hollywood friends. Jasper thought you'd be irresistible to her because you were so hot right now and everyone wanted you. He told me he'd introduced you after he knew you both had a good amount to drink, and as expected the two of you hit it off. I think he knew that Bella would be as intriguing for you as you would be to her. Then he said it all seemed to be going according to plan when you both left. He said that originally he thought I was genius because he had seen Bella change in demeanor in just the brief time she had been talking with you. Then I guess something happened between you and it all fell to shit. Bella returned home upset. He thought initially that she was upset because you'd slept together; then he realized it was because she thought you were using her. Then Jasper realized that you weren't the one trying to use her, it was us."

My hands went into fists under the table as I processed this information.

"So then I guess you showed up and Jasper said he tried to throw you out, but Bella insisted on talking to you. He said he could hear you begging for her to give you a chance. Then she left with you. When he called me the next morning he was angry with me for asking such a thing of him. I panicked and asked him to get Bella away from you, that this wasn't good for her. He reluctantly agreed."

I stood up from the table and walked away, my arms tightly pressed against my chest. Eric continued, "So I guess Jasper realized he couldn't do that, get you two apart, without Emmett also working on you, so he told him. Apparently he and Emmett fought bitterly over this. Emmett defended you strongly and threatened Jasper if he got involved again between you, that he would leave him over it. Emmett is a good friend to you, Edward. Then Emmett insisted that they all go out to dinner with you to see what was going on. Jasper called me the next day to tell me that Bella was too far gone for anything to be done. He told me he wouldn't betray either of you. He told me that Bella was a completely different woman with you than she ever was with my brother."

I turned to face him again. "What does that even mean?" I said flatly.

"Bella and James had a very different dynamic than she appears to have with you. James was very much in control of every situation. I'm not saying he controlled her, per se; but he certainly was the one who called the shots; he made the decisions. I think when they couldn't have the baby, those cracks in the relationship started showing. We all knew this and we assumed or at least hoped that Bella would someday find her voice and force James to give up some control. Jasper said that with you, Bella seemed to be more of an equal. Bantering with you, teasing…she was completely at ease in a way he never saw her with James. He said she looked happier than ever." Eric stopped talking then. He stood up and started pacing, his arms flailing as he continued berating himself.

"I had no right to do any of that. I had no right to ask that of Jasper. I just wanted to do something to fix my family. It was the only thing I could think of. I asked Jasper to betray his friends. I didn't even ask him, I used Bella to manipulate him. Jasper would do anything for Bella. I knew that and I exploited it. When I finally realized I had gotten what I wanted, when Bella seemed alive, when Angela was happier, when even my parents relaxed their worry, I realized it was at the expense of my brother and I felt like I needed to do something to make it up to him," Eric said. "Which brings us to my performance last night. I won't say I came here consciously to do that - I didn't - but when I made the mistaken assumption that you were trying to replace him, it sort of took on a life of its own." Eric finished and stood there staring at me.

My head was spinning. Now I understood why, every time I had seen Emmett since Bella left, I had seen him alone. He either didn't want Jasper to come, or Jasper didn't want to be there. I remember Emmett persuading me to come to that party - he said they wanted to be cooler. He said he was going to plant something in the paper about me if I didn't. How could I really be sure that he didn't set me up too? "Did Emmett know when he invited me to the party?" I asked.

"No. Jasper begged him under the pretense that he wanted to be seen as someone who rubbed elbows with the Hollywood elite. He had to work on him quite a bit for Emmett to try to get you there. Emmett didn't know any of this until after Bella was already with you; and then he stopped Jasper from meddling further."

"Did Angela know?"

"Not until last night, and she's furious with me. I made her promise to let me be the one to tell you and Bella. I called Jasper on the way over here, and he expects Bella to be on the phone screaming at him tonight. Don't blame Jasper though; I manipulated him, I did this."

I turned my back to him to look outside, my hands still balled up into fists, my arms crossed tightly. "Let me tell Bella." I asked.

"I can't let you do that, Edward," Eric objected.

"It'll be better coming from me. I'm sure she won't blame Jasper for thinking the same thing she herself thought the night we met; that I was someone who only cared about fucking women and tossing them aside. I mean, hell - you even thought I was so desperate for sex I flew across the country for it. It is so nice to know how highly I'm regarded, even among my friends." I wasn't angry, I was defeated.

"I didn't mean that," Eric said.

I turned with anger. "You didn't? Really? So why was that the first thing out of your mouth? Everyone seems to be so concerned with Bella and her virtue; did any of you stop to think that Bella is a smart woman who can make decisions for herself?"

"No, we didn't, and I am sure that will hurt her deeply. That she will be extremely upset that we manipulated her. I can't believe I let it get so out of hand," Eric said regretfully.

"Yes, I imagine the thought that she is with me makes it all seem completely out of hand," I sneered.

"That isn't what I meant, Edward. I mean that I let it go so far, to call Jasper, to get him to do these things with me, to come here last night and still try to manipulate her. I tried the whole night to make you look bad. You don't think I saw what Jasper saw, that Bella was a completely different woman around you than she ever was around my brother? I did see it and it made me feel angry for James. For the first time in my life I acted like him, a fact that wasn't lost on either Bella or Angela."

"Do you not think James would have wanted her to be happy?" I asked earnestly.

"I do think he wanted her to be happy. That was why I started all of this crap in the first place; and then it became so much so fast I had a hard time processing it," Eric responded.

My phone rang. I picked it up and saw it was Emmett. "Emmett. I can't talk right now," I answered.

"Edward, you have to know that I didn't know anything until after you met Bella," he pleaded.

"I know, Emmett. I was also told that you defended me to Jasper, whom I know you love deeply. You didn't have to do that," I told him.

"I did have to, Edward. If I'd known, I never would have stood for it. I didn't tell you afterwards because you were so happy; I figured this ugly secret didn't matter, because what did matter was that you two found each other. Jasper feels horrible--"

"I don't want to talk about him right now," I snapped back at him, cutting him off.

"Edward, I don't know if Jasper actually believed you'd sleep with Bella and throw her away. I've known you a long time; I know that isn't who you are. I think Jasper did too," Emmett sighed.

"You seem to be the only one who does," I said, the feeling of defeat settling on me once more.

"Edward, you listen to me - Bella knows this. She adores you. Please don't hold it against her for thinking that the first night. Don't be angry with her because of the rest of us. I should have told you. I'm sorry," he pleaded.

"No, you were right in not telling me. I liked it better to think it was fate that brought us together, and not a bunch of people who expected the worst out of me and thought I could deliver. Eric is still here; I need to get back to him," I said.

"Edward, I know this is hard for you; just know that, despite the means, you ended up together. That's what is important. You proved them wrong, Edward," Emmett said.

"But will she think that? Will she wonder that perhaps, because this was a set-up, that maybe it was a mistake, something she isn't ready for? Will she question everything with me if even her best friend, who has known me for years, thought I could so carelessly use her and throw her away? There's only one person in life I need to prove anything to, and that person is Bella," I said, letting my fears be voiced aloud to him.

"Edward, she won't—"

"I can't talk about this right now. I'll call you later," I said curtly. I turned off the phone and resisted the urge to throw it to the ground as I realized that Eric had been privy to my little outburst.

"So is this all a calculated move to break us up and make it look like you _didn't_ cause it? Are you hoping to plant the seeds of doubt into her mind?" I turned and sneered. Rage took hold of me. I stormed over to him and, grabbing him by the shirt, threw him against the wall. I held him there with my arm across his chest. "You have no right! She loved you and trusted you, and you betrayed her while trying to make _me_ look like the bad guy!" I yelled in his face. "She'll forgive you because she loved your brother and she loves your wife. _I _will be the one who will be the most damaged by all of this. She will question everything having to do with me, wonder why it is that the two most important men in her life think that I am so unworthy of her love." I let go, still panting from my outburst, and turned away. I sunk to the couch with my head in my hands.

After observing me silently for a moment, he asked softly, "You really do love her don't you?"

I laughed in spite of my rage. "She is my everything," I said softly.

"Let me tell her, Edward; let me make it right," Eric offered.

"Call your wife and ask her who she thinks it would be better coming from" I replied. I already knew the answer, but it was the only way to get him to leave. I didn't want to look at him again.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and called her. "Hi, it's me. Yes, I'm here. I told him everything. I know, Angela; I know. Edward wants to be the one to tell her, but I think I should; what do you think?" After a long period of silence, he muttered, "That's what Edward thought." Then more silence, and, "I'll tell you about it later." He shut the phone and sighed. "She agrees with you, of course."

"She knows Bella better than anyone. She knows that she will take it better coming from me, no matter how angry she may be," I answered.

"Edward, I'm sorry. I never--"

I put up my hand to stop him from speaking anymore. I just didn't want to hear it. A better man would have probably accepted his apology with a handshake and a beer.

We both heard the garage door opening. I looked at the clock to see it was only twelve thirty. Bella was home early. "FUCK!" I said, getting up off the couch. I had no idea what to say or where to even start.

She walked in and stopped short when she saw us both there. She looked from me to Eric. "What is going on here?"

Eric started to speak and I said, "Eric was just leaving. We need to talk."

"Edward? What's wrong? Eric? What did you say to him?" Bella said, looking frantically from one to the other. "I've been trying to call Angela all day. She isn't picking up, and she promised me she'd explain. Will someone just tell me what the hell is going on?"

"I am going to do that as soon as Eric leaves. _Goodbye_, Eric," I said pointedly.

"Bella, please know how sorry I am. I never had any intention of--I never wanted this--blame me for this, Bella. It's entirely my fault," Eric stuttered frantically.

"GOODBYE, ERIC," I repeated, my voice escalating. He turned and walked out.

Bella turned back to me. "_What_ is going on, Edward?"

I took her in my arms for a moment and held her tightly. I needed to feel her close to me; I feared that after learning this, she would never feel the same about me again. I feared that they had taken everything from me, that this may be my last time I would hold her and know absolutely that she loved me without doubt or reservation.

"Edward, you're shaking. What's wrong? Please tell me – please!" she begged.

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a/n: well now you know why Eric was being such a dick! Don't be too hard on him, he'll redeem himself later, I promise. In my mind he was totally desperate to try to "fix" his family and this was the only way he could think to even start. When someone gets desperate, they do stupid things.

a/n2: In case you haven't picked up on it, Edward's greatest insecurity in their relationship is that Bella isn't truly ready to move on. This sort of confronts that insecurity head on. Along with that comes his angst over how everyone seems to perceive him, but a large part of that perception is the fact he never let anyone in before.

a/n3: Reviews are better than chocolates on Valentine's Day!


	28. Chapter 28 Insecurities

**a/n: I have had this chapter ready for 3 days, but the login process of FF has been very temperamental, so it has taken me a while to finally put this up. A big thank you goes out to Shan for calling me and telling me to run to my computer to post before the "great FF fail" started again.  
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**a/n2: My last chapter was the most reviewed chapter so far, so thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Thanks to everyone who takes the time to write them or to favorite/subscribe to my story. This is the reason I keep writing it.**

**a/n3: Many thanks goes out to starfish422 for making my story better in every way as a beta. She also is a FF writer, a link to her story is under my favorites, once you are done reading this chapter, go read her story. You won't be sorry. It is a Jasper/Edward story and it is simply amazing. Blows my story out of the water.  
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**The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, I'm just borrowing them in my happy fantasy land.**

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**BPOV**

I had been trying to call Angela all morning. She wasn't picking up or calling me back despite several messages. I couldn't stand not knowing anymore; I was a complete mess. I couldn't stop my leg from bouncing up and down. I kept leaping to my mouse to check my email anytime a message came in, thinking it was from her.

I finally decided that I would take a long lunch and go home to see Edward. At least that would take my mind off the waiting and the wondering. I had to be back for an afternoon meeting, but I had time to make it home for about an hour before I returned. I knew that would make me feel better, just seeing Edward.

When I walked into the house I saw Eric standing in my kitchen, he looked like hell. His hair was completely disheveled, his eyes were red, and his skin was pale white. I turned to see Edward pacing nervously around the family room. "What is going on here?"

Edward stepped towards me and said, "Eric was just leaving. We need to talk." Those words never had any good behind them. They were always followed by something horrible. Why would Eric be in my house without me, especially after last night? Instantly I felt sick to my stomach.

"Edward? What's wrong? Eric? What did you say to him?" I kept looking back and forth between them, trying to make sense out of what was going on. "I've been trying to call Angela all day. She isn't picking up, and she promised me she would explain. Will someone just tell me what the hell is going on?"

"I am going to do that as soon as Eric leaves. Goodbye, Eric." Edward said, staring at Eric with complete disgust in his eyes.

"Bella, please know how sorry I am; please know that I never had any intention of, I never wanted this, blame me for this Bella, it's my fault entirely," Eric babbled. I was just completely confused as to why he would be expecting me to blame anyone but him for his outburst last night.

"GOODBYE, ERIC," Edward boomed from beside me. Eric turned and left.

I looked at Edward. "What's going on, Edward?" He looked pained. He came over to hug me tightly and held me for a long time saying nothing. I noticed he seemed to be shivering. I was starting to panic, trying to think of what could have him so upset.

"Edward, you're shaking! What's wrong? Please tell me; please," I begged.

"There's something you need to know," he started, motioning for me to sit down. He was pacing the floor back and forth, gesturing wildly as he talked. He told me everything that Eric had conveyed to him, laid it all out in front of me. I sat there speechless and stunned. I was putting it all together in my mind: Eric's insistence I go spend some time with Jasper, the drinks Jasper kept bringing me before he dragged Edward to see me, the comments both of them made to me about moving on or meeting someone else before I met Edward. It all fit together perfectly, and I knew it wasn't a lie. When Edward was done he stopped pacing and then just looked at me.

Then each statement he made started sinking in and my anger started to rise. "Wait, wait, wait," I said, holding up my hand. "They thought I would actually just meet some guy and have sex with him, and then decide, 'Oh, guess I must be over James now,' and move on? Are you fucking kidding me?" I was shocked that either of them could think that I would even have a one night stand in the first place; I was even more shocked that they thought that having one would in any way make me get over James, if anything the guilt would have been more overwhelming.

"Did Angela know about any of this?" I asked incredulously.

"Not until last night." Edward answered. As I tried to make sense of all of it, my emotions betrayed me and tears started spilling down my face. I hated this about myself, whenever I was angry or sad, my tears always came. Edward came down and sat next to me and I laid my head in his lap, my sobs shaking my entire body.

"What gave them the right to make decisions like that for me?" I choked out.

"In Eric's mind, I think he was doing the only thing he could think of to try to help put his family back together. I guess he first tried to set you up with a friend, and when that didn't work he decided to try this," Edward answered.

"Are you serious? _Eric _was behind that idiot Mike Newton fawning all over me? As if all of this wasn't bad enough!" I fumed, wiping the tears from my eyes. "I mean, outside of the entire thought that I'm some whore who just goes and fucks random guys for the hell of it after my husband dies, what baffles me even more is that when it got them what they wanted - me being happy - they decide to take that away from me as well, by trying to break us up."

"They weren't thinking of your current happiness, only protecting you from the failure which they saw as inevitable."

"Who are they to make that choice, Edward? I mean isn't it my heart on the line? Why didn't anyone think to ask _me_ what _I_ wanted in all of this?" I sobbed again.

"I don't think anyone was thinking, love," he replied. "That was the problem entirely."

His hands were softly stroking my hair. I was still just trying to wrap my head around any of this. "Why didn't either of them tell me about it when I got home?"

"I know Emmett said that he didn't want to tell me because he said it didn't matter and he didn't want to upset our happiness. As to why Jasper and Eric never told? I'm guessing that was driven by the fear of either upsetting you or you being angry with them," Edward said.

"Am I really so weak and fragile that I need everyone else to make decisions for me?" I sobbed again. Edward sat for a moment stroking my hair, taking in the question that hung in the air above us.

"Maybe they see you like that since they have known you since you were young, when you weren't as sure of yourself. Maybe they can't recognize that you are a woman now, a very strong and capable woman," Edward said softly.

I took in his words, and wondered if that could be true. The more I thought about what he said, the more I didn't believe it. My entire life someone else had been making my decisions for me. My parents, Jasper, James, and now Eric; they all felt the need to push me in a certain direction. "Am I, though? Everyone has always pushed me in the direction they wanted me to go, and I've just followed. I was a mess after James died. That isn't strong and capable at all."

"Bella, after James died, you woke up every day and you lived. It may have not been a great life or a happy one, but you got out of bed, you went to work and you lived your life, despite how empty you felt. That takes more strength than anyone could possibly know. It wasn't easy, but you did it, every single day for over a year. That is the very essence of strong and capable," he replied.

"That isn't strength, that's just habit," I dismissed him.

"Bella, you sell yourself short. You need to believe in your strength. You need to have faith in yourself. If you believe it, others will too. This is what I know to be true: you are a woman who felt she wasn't being treated in the manner in which she deserved, and got up and walked out of that cafe the first night you met me. You are a woman who knew what she wanted and did everything possible to seduce me the last night in LA. You are a woman who wasn't afraid to ask me to stay longer when I arrived here on Friday. No one was pushing you in any direction for any of those things; you saw what you wanted or didn't want and you went after it. Not one of those things defines you as weak or fragile."

I closed my eyes to think about what he just said, taking it all in. Then I remembered back to how expertly I had planned our last night together, right down to the clothing I wore and I laughed through my tears. "I did do a pretty good job of seducing you, didn't I?"

Edward chuckled. "Bella, there isn't a man alive who could have resisted you that night, least of all me."

"I knew I totally had you when you started missing notes on the piano," I teased.

"I've replayed that so many times in my head, Bella; the feeling of your hands in my hair and your lips on my neck. Your body pressed up against mine. My entire body was on fire with need for you. _You_ made that happen simply because it was what you desired. That is not weak."

I smiled; I really was a different person around Edward than I had been around James. I never would have taken that type of control around James, he was always the one who initiated everything or stopped it if he didn't want it.

"This is probably not the best conversation to have with your head in my lap." Edward shifted me on his lap slightly.

I was really laughing now; my anger was slowly ebbing away replaced with laughter.

"I'm just giving you fair warning," he said.

I sat up and looked at him in the eyes. "There you go again, making me feel better." I leaned in and kissed him.

"I do wish you could see yourself the way I see you, Bella," he said, tucking my hair behind my ear.

I caught the clock out of the corner of my eye. "UGH! I came home for lunch to see you, but that reminds me I have to get back soon. I have a meeting at 2:30. I am so sorry, Edward!"

"You have nothing to be sorry for. I'll see you when you get back," he said, kissing me on the forehead.

I didn't want to leave. I thought about every possible way to get out of this meeting, but I knew that with being off for the Thanksgiving holiday it would push everything back for weeks. I just couldn't let my work slip, especially since they were being so good about letting me have time off and working remotely if I had to.

I wrapped my arms around Edward for another moment, feeling the peace that only his arms could offer me. I got into the car and started to drive back to work. About five minutes into my drive I started feeling my anger build again. I also didn't want to waste any more of my time with Edward dealing with any of this crap, ruining the precious little time we had together. I decided that I had time to confront one of them. I was trying to figure out who I wanted to talk to first and finally picked Jasper because I was more angry with Eric for the way he acted last night. I dialed Jasper's number.

"Bella! I'm so glad you called. I've been dying here waiting," Jasper blurted out after the first ring. I felt the anger rising in me as I heard his voice.

"Explain!" It was all I needed to say.

"Bella, I know it was a mistake. Eric seemed to think it would help you, and I just knew how sad you were. I thought Edward would be good for you," he said.

"Good for one night."

"I never thought that, you have to believe me. I knew you wouldn't sleep with him, Bella. I figured maybe you would go out on a date or two, realize it wouldn't work long distance, and part as friends. Then when it was clear to me that he was really into you, I was frantic with worry about it."

"Yes, I imagine it must be difficult to fathom someone like him being into someone like me," I snapped back.

"Bella, that isn't it. I've known Edward for years. I knew, or at least thought, that he wasn't the relationship type. I thought you two would click and that maybe he would show you around the town. I thought maybe that was enough of a spark to get things going for you thinking it was time to move on. I swear, Bella; I swear."

"Then why would you care if he was into me? I mean, why would that be such a bad thing?" I asked.

"I was afraid he would hurt you and then you would be worse off than before," Jasper said softly.

"I thought Edward was your friend too, Jasper? Why were you so quick to believe that he would hurt me?" I asked more insistently.

"Edward is my friend Bella, but you have and always will mean much more to me than Edward. If protecting you cost me my friendship with him, so be it. Edward has never really let too many people into his life before you. Only recently has he even started saying things to Emmett that he never would have said before. I just assumed that he couldn't possibly love you the way you deserved to be loved," Jasper said.

I had enough of listening to Jasper badmouth Edward; I was furious. "And how is that, Jasper? By lying to me? That was how you showed your _love_ for me back in college. Even now, this is how you show your _love_, by lying to me. Like Eric, who manipulates me and hurts the people I care about? Is that the type of love that I deserve?" I knew I was hitting him way below the belt by bringing up college, but I wanted to hurt him. I wanted my words to sting.

"You have every right to be angry, Bella," Jasper said. "I don't—"

I cut him off. "How dare you sit there and talk to me about _love_. Edward has shown me more respect in a month than you clearly have _ever_ shown me. You and Eric think that love is forcing someone to do whatever it is you want them to do. You have no business telling me that Edward couldn't possibly love me the way I deserved to be loved. You only see what you want to see: me, fragile and delicate and you needing to take care of me as a fucking project."

"I don't think that Bella. I don't…"

"You think that, you have always thought that. 'Poor Bella has fallen apart again; I need to pick up the pieces,'" I sneered. "I don't want it, Jasper. Just stop treating me as a charity case. Stop deciding what I need, and taking it upon yourself to do it for me." He started to speak again and I cut him off after the first syllable exited his mouth.

"One more thing, Jasper: don't you dare ever insult Edward to me again. I will not stand for it. You have no reason to say those things about him, and you have no idea what the hell you are even talking about. So just shut your fucking mouth. Quite honestly, I don't know if I can believe a single thing that comes out of your mouth ever again." I was shocked at the words coming out of _my_ mouth. I had never talked to Jasper this way, or anyone else for that matter.

"Can I finish what I was trying to say now?" Jasper snapped.

"Whatever," I snapped back.

"I said I _assumed _he couldn't love you. Past tense. I _assumed_ that when I agreed to break you up to Eric. That was before I saw the two of you together at dinner, and saw with my own eyes how very happy _both_ of you looked. Remember when you asked me if being with Edward was wrong because of James? I told you James would want you to be happy, that it was time for you to move on. If I truly didn't think Edward would be good for you, I would have given you a completely different answer. If I had said that day that perhaps you were going too fast with Edward or perhaps you should take some time to be sure that you were ready to move on, I know you would have questioned yourself and your relationship with Edward. If I had wanted to split you up at that point, I had the perfect opportunity to do it. I said the very words you needed to hear, to reassure you that what you were doing was right. That should prove to you that I changed my mind about Edward hurting you. I am not lying to you now."

"You only said that because Emmett was in the car with us at the time and he threatened you. Edward told me as much."

"Emmett wasn't within ear shot the entire day, Bella; I could have easily taken you aside and told you otherwise later on, and he would have never known," Jasper pointed out.

I let out a mental sigh. He had a point. If he truly wanted to sabotage me, he could have easily used that to do it.

"Bella, I know you are angry with me. I know. You have every right to your anger. I just hope that you can forgive me someday. I value your friendship dearly. I always have," Jasper said softly.

"The only way I could ever even think about forgiving you, is if you swear to me that you will never meddle in my life in such a way again. _Swear_."

"I swear, Bella. I won't ever do it again," he answered fervently.

"I just want to know one more thing. Why did you pick Edward - really? I mean, beyond the fact you didn't think relationships were his thing; but what made you think that he would even be interested in me in the first place?"

There was a brief pause on the other end of the line as Jasper collected his thoughts. "Ever since I have known Edward, there has always been a sort of loneliness to him. Edward may think he is fooling everyone with his facade, but both Emmett and I could tell that he wasn't happy being alone. It wasn't that unlike how you were after James died. You pretended to everyone that you were okay, but it was obvious that you weren't. I thought maybe the two of you would see in each other someone who could understand. The same way Emmett and I sort of felt an instant bond when we met; we just instantly clicked because I could tell he was living the same lie I had for so long. It certainly didn't hurt that Edward is completely gorgeous. It also didn't hurt that I knew Edward had the number on spot on your list of celebrities you'd do if you ever got the chance," he laughed.

"I never said that!" I blushed.

"Oh, yes you did honey; you just forgot you said that to _me,_" Jasper replied.

I mentally cursed myself for ever sharing anything like that with Jasper. "I asked you, though, why you thought _he _would be interested in _me,_" I pressed.

"Why wouldn't he? You are extraordinary, Bella. All anyone has to do is talk to you for five minutes and they'd know that."

"Don't bullshit me, Jasper."

"When have I ever fed you a line of bullshit? Sure, I admit I helped manipulate the circumstances recently; but I never straight up lied to you, Bella. Even in college, I wasn't lying. I did care for you; I just didn't realize who I was then," Jasper said. I swallowed my guilt hard over throwing that in his face. It was such a low thing to say to him; I had meant to hurt him deeply and knew that was a quick and easy way to do it. "I also know what kind of women men like Edward like. He doesn't want some starry eyed fan mooning all over him - he wants someone who likes to talk about herself more than him. You never shut the hell up. Match made in heaven," he teased.

I laughed in spite of myself. "So, how angry is Emmett with you?" I asked.

"If I had any idea Emmett would react this way, I never, ever would have agreed to it in the first place. He felt as if I put him in between me and his friend, and asked him to choose. He hasn't let me even talk to Edward since. I think it only pissed him off more when it seemed that for the first time Edward was actually opening up to him, so Emmett felt guilty for lying to him. Emmett wouldn't even tell me what Edward said today when he talked to him. He won't discuss much of anything regarding Edward with me."

"What? Edward talked to Emmett today? When?" I asked intrigued.

"Eric called me on his way over to talk to Edward, to tell me what happened. Emmett was very worried that Edward would think he knew about what was going on, so he called to set the record straight. I know Emmett was angry when he got off the phone, but he wouldn't tell me why, beyond letting me know that Edward knew that he wasn't involved and wasn't angry with him."

I pondered Jasper's words about Emmett being angry after talking to Edward, and wondered if there was something else that someone wasn't telling me.

"Thank you for hearing me out. I love you, Bella. I know my love isn't what you deserve, but I do love you in my own fucked up way. I hope in time you can forgive me, Bella; your friendship means so much to me. I know I fucked up. I know. I swear to you, I'll never presume to interfere again."

"Thank you, Jasper. I just need some time to process everything. I love you too; you know I do. But I'm hurt that two of the most important people in my life find me to be such a weak, pathetic basket case. I need time."

"We were worried about you, Bella, and that worry caused us to make stupid decisions. Yes, we should have let you decide on your own terms when you were ready. But honey, just look at yourself now. While you may not have liked the way you met Edward or the reasons behind it, look at what that meeting has done for you. You've come alive, Bella; I've never seen you more radiant. I've certainly never had you hand me my ass the way you just did. My reasons were shitty, the way I went about it was shitty, but I can't truly regret doing it because I think it changed you in a good way," Jasper said.

I let out another mental sigh. He was right again. This is why I knew I could never stay angry with Jasper for long. He knew everything there was to know about me. I _was_ alive. I couldn't truly wish they had never interfered, because that interference brought Edward to me. I could never regret that. "I can't regret you doing it either Jasper, because you brought Edward into my life. I love him, Jasper. I love him."

"I know you do, Bella. I'll give you all of the time you need, honey; but please call me if you need anything, please. I am so sorry."

"Thanks Jasper. We'll talk soon." I hung up with Jasper. I knew I should have apologized for some of the more hurtful things I said to him, but I wasn't ready for that just yet. I needed him to truly understand how much he hurt me, hurt our friendship. I checked the clock. I had twenty minutes until it was time for my meeting. I didn't have enough time to talk with Eric or Angela. I decided to call Emmett.

"Bella, how are you?" he answered immediately.

"I'm okay, Emmett; it is a lot to take in. Sweetheart, I don't have a ton of time, but I just wanted to thank you for being the one voice of reason throughout all of this. We are very lucky to call you a friend," I told him.

"I've been so conflicted about everything. I hated lying to Edward. I hope he can understand why I didn't tell him. When I talked to him on the phone today…" he stopped himself before finishing his sentence.

Now I was really worried, first Jasper making a comment about Edward seeming upset, now Emmett. "Is Edward okay?" I asked.

"Bella, I think for the best interest of everyone involved, Edward should tell you how he feels himself," Emmett told me.

Then it hit me: in the hour I had spent with him earlier, I never once asked Edward how he felt. I swallowed hard, wondering how insensitive I must have come off, only caring about me. "Oh God, I never even asked Edward how he felt about anything today! I just sat there going on and on about me. I don't even have time to have a proper conversation with him right now!" I felt horrible.

"Bella, Edward just wants you to be happy. You needed to get it out of your system. Tonight you can give him a chance to get it out of his. Bella, I will tell you this: I knew Edward was madly in love with you the minute I answered the door that night. I've never ever seen him react that passionately about anything. Whatever other seeds of doubt any of this may have planted, know this: Edward loves you, more than he has probably loved anything or anyone," Emmett said.

"Why would this possibly make me doubt Edward's love for me?" I asked confused.

"That's probably something you should tell Edward. I love you I'll let you go," Emmett finished, hanging up the phone.

I was more confused than ever. I couldn't fathom that Edward would be worried about any of this causing me to doubt his feelings for me or mine for him. That just didn't make any sense to me. Clearly it was an issue if Emmett felt the need to be sure I knew that. I only had about 5 more minutes before my meeting started so I couldn't call him now. I decided to text him quickly instead.

_E – I am headed off to my meeting, I just couldn't let another minute go by without telling you how much I love you. As screwed up as all of this is, the only thing that really matters in the end is that we found each other. That makes it all worth it. – B_

**EPOV**

When Bella left, I had no idea what to do with myself. My mind was racing. I replayed her reaction back to me over and over again. She seemed to be more focused on how they felt she was incapable of running her own life than anything else, at least for now.

So many questions were racing through my head. What would happen when she sat back and thought about it? Would she wonder if she was really ready to move on or if she only thought she was ready because they were manipulating her? Would she wonder if I really was going to hurt her in the end, when even those who knew me thought that? Would it plant a seed of doubt in her mind? How could I make her believe otherwise?

I had probably been sitting there for an hour in a daze worrying about everything when I got a text from her. A smile came over my face as I read it. Bella seemed to know exactly what to write to snap me out of my worry, at least for now.

I realized that it was 2:30 and I was starving. I started raiding the fridge for leftovers when my phone rang again, it was Jasper. As much as I didn't want to take his call, I decided it was better to do it now than later.

Before I could say a single word, he launched into a huge apology. He wouldn't let me get a word in edgewise. He told me how he never thought that I would use Bella and throw her away; but rather how he thought we would click and I would take her out, and maybe then she would see she was ready. I had no real reason not to believe him. Before I could raise the question as to why he thought I would hurt Bella and needed to break us up, he answered it.

"Edward, I've seen you with women here and there, but honestly not very often and certainly never very happy. I assumed you were not the relationship type. When I saw how upset you were at my house and then Bella didn't come home that night? I freaked out because I had never seen you like that; it wasn't at all what I expected. I worried about everything and I let Eric convince me it had to stop for Bella's sake. Even if Emmett hadn't stopped me from even thinking about it, when we saw you at dinner, we both knew that you were just as crazy for her as she was you. I've known you a long time, Edward; I've never seen you look at anyone the way you look at her." He exhaled deeply over the phone. "So you haven't said a single word to me yet. Go ahead; I can take your worst."

I just shook my head, laughing to myself. "My only concern is Bella. I hate that you made her feel like she's incapable of making decisions for herself. I hate that you called any of this into question in her mind."

"She gave me a sound lashing earlier. She made it very clear that she wouldn't tolerate any meddling or viewing her as a project anymore. I honestly don't think I've ever heard her so angry," Jasper said.

"That's my girl," I said, smiling.

He let out a slight snicker. "The old Bella would have just sobbed for three weeks when she was by herself; she never would have gone for blood the way she did today. I am sorry; I shouldn't have sold you so short. I was wrong."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Thank you for letting me know, Jasper. My biggest concern is Bella. I'm worried about her."

"I understand that. Hopefully once she rips Eric apart the way she did me, she'll be able to start putting this behind her. Thank you for listening. I'll talk to you soon; well, if Emmett allows it, that is," Jasper said.

I laughed again, this time out loud. "Emmett is a good man. You're lucky to have him."

"Oh believe me, that's all I've heard this past month, Edward. I doubt he'll ever let me forget it."

We said our goodbyes and I hung up the phone.

I was glad Bella had called him and stood up for herself. My nervous energy had not gone away; I needed something to focus and take my mind off of things. I thought about calling Alice, but I decided I had talked enough for one day. I decided to play my guitar for a while to see if that could relax me, but it didn't. All it did was frustrate me more because I kept screwing up. I saw the Guitar Hero game and decided to try this thing again, to teach myself without pressure. I knew eventually that Eric would be back in Bella's life, they were far too close for too long for that to change; but I'd be dammed if I was going to let him beat me at anything ever again.

It did help me take my mind off of things, and I must have been playing it for hours when I heard the door open and saw Bella walk in. She took one look at me and started laughing. I realized I was quite a sight, still in my pajamas, still had not showered, hair sticking out in every direction, sitting in her living room playing some video game. I laughed in spite of myself. "Sorry, I must have lost track of time," I said. "On the bright side, I have gotten much better at this stupid game. I may even be able to beat you now," I said, putting down the guitar.

She crossed the room to me, took my face in her hands and said, "Edward, I never asked you how you feel in any of this. That was so insensitive of me. Are you doing okay?"

I held her hands on the side of my face and closed my eyes. "You're not insensitive, love. It was a lot of information in a short span of time." I was trying to decide if I should share my fears with her or just let them go. Even though I didn't want to put any more pressure on her or worry her any further today, I knew I needed to talk about it. To not discuss this with her would be treating her as they treated her, as if she was too fragile to handle things on her own.

I took a deep breath and began. "I guess I'm just worried that if you think about this too much, you'll wonder if you were ever ready to move on in the first place. That maybe you made a mistake by getting into another relationship. That maybe I'm not everything you think I am because everyone sees me differently than you do. That maybe what we have isn't what you thought it was." I couldn't look her in the eyes. I pushed back from her hold on me, sat down on the ottoman, and put my hands in fists into my hair. I braced myself for her response.

She sank to her knees in front of me, releasing my fists from my hair, taking my hands in hers. "Edward, if I truly wasn't ready to move on, there is nothing either Jasper or Eric could have done to change that. They only put you in front of me. It was _you_ who made me ready, the way you made me feel when I was with you. I couldn't get enough. _You_ did that, Edward. They can't take that away from you."

She moved further under me to catch my gaze in hers. "You said today you see me differently than people who have known me for years. Do you think that you should reevaluate how you see me at all based on their opinion?"

"Of course not. I know who you are, Bella; I don't need anyone to tell me otherwise."

"Exactly. I know who you are, Edward. I don't care what they think of you - I _know_ you. Eric couldn't possibly know the first thing about you. Jasper only saw what he wanted to see. What we have? It's better than anything I could have hoped for. I love you, Edward. Those aren't just words to me, they mean everything. _You_ mean everything." She raised herself to me and put her lips on mine.

With her words, the anxiety I had felt all day started melting away. She didn't care what brought us together; she didn't care what anyone thought of me. She was mine. "There you go again, knowing exactly how to make me feel better," I said, smiling.

"It's a gift, really," she said, laughing.

"How are you feeling now, Bella?"

She sighed. "I'm feeling better. I talked with Jasper, and I feel better for having done it. I think he really is sorry."

"He told me you handed him his ass. Good for you!" I chuckled.

Bella threw her head back and laughed. "He called you? I will admit I feel bad for some of the things I said to him in anger."

"He called me to apologize, yes. Don't feel bad - you needed to get it out of your system," I said.

"Good," she said.

"Have you talked with Eric?"

"No, nor do I intend to tonight. Tonight is all about you, my dear. All about _us_. I've wasted the past 24 hours with you being upset about this garbage - I'm not going to waste anymore of our time together. There is plenty of time to deal with him later." She bit her bottom lip and smiled at me slyly. "Besides, he deserves to sweat it out for at least another day, don't you think?" She walked over to the phone and took it off the hook then grabbed her cell phone and powered it down. She turned back at me with an even bigger grin.

"I think you're scaring me a little bit with that naughty smile on your face. It's enough to remind me never to cross you, Bella Swan."

"I think those are good words to live by." She wrapped herself around me and started kissing me, grabbing my hair and pulling me towards her. She was being possessive with me, demanding I meet her kisses with equal fervor. She released me briefly to take my hand and lead me to her bedroom; and there, she took control of me in a way she never had. Her passion was raw, her hands rough and needing. I submitted to her completely, because I knew it was what she needed.

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a/n: Reviews make the hours of my life it took me to just post this chapter on FF all worthwhile!

a/n2: Don't forget to check my favorites for starfish422's story: Over The Top.


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